[J_9]

I never said that, but did imply it didn't I? You see, I don't want a teacher for my child who hits. I want a teacher who knows alternative ways of discipline, ways that makes my child use their minds rather than be fearful and cover their butts.

I personally think that spanking is cruel and inhumane, but that is my opinion. I have found many different ways to discipline that do NOT include laying on of hands of any way shape or form, and they are VERY effective.

In my opinion, spanking is cruel and unusual punishment. I don't deserve to get hit, and neither does my child. If my husband hits me, that is domestic abuse. In the same sense if I hit my child it should be domestic abuse.

As I have said before, I have 4 children, all of them have only been spanked once. ONCE. You lose the shock value in spanking if it is continuously done as a form of discipline.

[nauticalstar420]

So discipline is cruel and unusual punishment? I think that if today's criminals had a little more discipline when they were younger they wouldn't be the way they are today. Just my opinion.

Besides, my son hasn't done anything bad enough lately to get spanked. What I do now is, if I catch him doing something bad, I make him sit between my legs and I cross them so he can't get out, for 2 minutes of course, because he's 2. That gets through to him, he hates it. The redirection has started to work in some cases, but not all. Crayons and coloring books work wonderfully, that is when he wants to take the redireciton bait.

[J_9]

No discipline is not cruel and unusual punishment, but In my opinion spanking when we are just trying to get our point across is.

Discipline takes many forms, spanking just one of them.

Speaking of criminals, LOL, I was watching Court TV today, it was about Pelican Island, they interviewed many criminals, at least half of those had been spanked as children for reasons that alternative methods of discipline could have been used.

Our children don't need to be spanked when they do something wrong, it doesn't teach them what they did wrong or why it was wrong. It just hurts their a$$es. That's all they know. What is wrong with telling them that they did something wrong, why it was wrong and telling them never to do it again. Sure we have to do this over and over, but repetition is how children learn.

You can spank your child if you want, that is your right, but that doesn't mean I think it is right.

[nauticalstar420]

Well I have seen things on television as well (who hasn't? TV really isn't a good source) about people that were in prison. Some of them said if they had gotten the discipline they needed and deserved, they wouldn't be where they were today. One guy even said he wished his mom had taken him to the side and beat is butt for him sometimes.

Some people are thinking that spankers are the anti christ. What you don't understand is, I don't "beat him" until his a$$ is black and blue. I swat him on the butt 2 or 3 times, usually doesn't even make his butt red. If he even does cry, it is usually because the sound of my hand hitting is diaper startles the crap out of him.

And like I also said before, I have started trying some of the methods you described to me earlier. Some of them work great, and some of them need more work. He has started being a really good boy. Not all people who are spanked grow up to be a piece of crap.

[J_9]

Did I say that everyone who is spanked "grow up to be a piece of crap?" I don't think I did.

If you want to spank that is your prerogative, your choice. But I have been a mother for 21 years now, 4 children, I have experience, not only with my children, but with my schooling. I am not trying to change you or your parenting techniques, I am only trying to show that there are other methods that are better than hitting an innocent child.

[nauticalstar420]

Did I say that everyone who is spanked "grow up to be a piece of crap?" I don't think I did.

If you want to spank that is your prerogative, your choice. But I have been a mother for 21 years now, 4 children, I have experience, not only with my children, but with my schooling. I am not trying to change you or your parenting techniques, I am only trying to show that there are other methods that are better than hitting an innocent child.

I believe I already said I have taken your advice and tried to apply it to my child. And trust me, he is not always innocent.

[Skell]

Its just all comes down to a matter of personal choice and opinion.

Excon thinks people who spank children are poor and misguided. Many would think he is the poor misguided person.

My grandmother who has been a mother for 65 years and my mother who has been a mother for 35 years have found that spanking if used correctly is a fine tool in parenting and they wouldn't have it any other way. Others will disagree.

Neither is right or wrong. How can anyone begin to tell an 85 year old women who has raised dozens of children and grandchildren to be outstanding citizens (and all of them are) that she was wrong in the way she brought them up? They cant.

It is clear that to this question there is no right or wrong answer.

[jrb252000]

I feel some children do benefit from spanking... I haven't swatted my son on the butt in a long time but when I did he would not do whatever I swatted him for... when I used the quiet time method it failed... now that he is older the best punishment is to be sent to bed without his after dinner cookies... of course for the original question we are talking about a 5 month old use your best judgement try different form of punishment to see which as the best effect.

[nauticalstar420]

J_9 agrees: But he is ONLY 2 for crying out loud!!

So because he is 2 he can do no wrong?

[J_9]

It is very clear Skell. Everyone has different parenting methods and different parenting skills

I was spanked, I don't spank, doesn't mean I don't believe it has it's place, but I do believe that it is overused.

[J_9]

So because he is 2 he can do no wrong?

I didn't say that did I?

Wow, you really read between the lines don't you?

Most 2 year olds do wrong every waking hour of the day. How do they learn NOT to do wrong is the question.

[nauticalstar420]

And I teach him not to do wrong in any way possible. If I have to give him a swat on the butt, so be it. You give your own personal parenting advice, which is really good advice, but I don't think you understand that not all children respond to it.

[Wondergirl]

The famous psychologist, Albert Ellis, who died last week at the age of 93, said something to the effect that repeatedly telling a child (when he is spanked or otherwise punished) that he is bad shames the child. The child feels worthless, believes he is no good, will never amount to anything.

On the other hand, if a parent is careful to tell the child that he did a bad thing and this particular punishment (spanking, time-out, grounding, etc.) is the consequence, there may be created in the child a feeling of guilt, but guilt that the child knows can be paid for and dealt with.

That's the difference between shame and guilt, Ellis said. Shame = "I am bad" whereas Guilt = "I did bad".

[J_9]

LOL, I am 43, I have 4 children and have taught parenting classes as well as been a preschool teacher, yes, all children do respond to it if done properly.

[jrb252000]

I think we should let this question rest... everyone has a different way and opinion... every parent does what they feel is right and knows their child the best...

[nauticalstar420]

The famous psychologist, Albert Ellis, who died last week at the age of 93, said something to the effect that repeatedly telling a child (when he is spanked or otherwise punished) that he is bad shames the child. The child feels worthless, feels like he is no good, will never amount to anything.

On the other hand, if a parent is careful to tell the child that he did a bad thing and this particular punishment (spanking, time-out, grounding, etc.) is the consequence, there may be created in the child a feeling of guilt, but guilt that the child knows can be paid for and dealt with.

That's the difference between shame and guilt, Ellis said. Shame = "I am bad" whereas Guilt = "I did bad".

That is awesome! I never tell my son he IS a bad boy. I tell him what he did was bad. I usually have to do it a couple of times, but he gets it eventually. THAT is why I have not had to spank him in a while. I know he is not dumb, he just either doesn't always pay attention, or doesn't always respond to the method I use for discipline.

[nauticalstar420]

I think we should let this question rest...everyone has a different way and opinion....every parent does what they feel is right and knows their child the best.....

I agree. I'm done with this. When opinions clash, nothing ever gets resolved. Besides, I don't come here to argue and have to defend my parenting skills.

[Wondergirl]

NS, I was so looking forward to bringing the gang over to your place for brunch tomorrow morning! Now what am I going to do with all these chocolate chip, blueberry, and apple-cinnamon muffins??

[nauticalstar420]

bekah876 agrees: I know this isn't a laughing matter, but hearing all the things your little one has done I can't help but laugh. You and him will share some good stories later in life.

Sometimes the things he does make me laugh too. He usually gets up around 7:30 in the morning. Well the other morning he must have gotten up extra early. I woke up and he was sitting on the floor beside my bed with 2 boxes of cereal, one arm in each one. It made me laugh, and it was a funny thing to wake up to.

Just for the record, I am not here to argue, or make enemies. Everything I have said is my own opinion. For that reason, I don't want to argue anymore :)

[J_9]

I totally agree with you NS. I was as of the same belief as you with my youngest who will soon be 21. But age, wisdom, and education has shown me different ways of discipline.