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klovesj110603 · Jul 27, 2007, 06:18 PM

I have always had self estem problems and I always feel like when I walk in a room everyone is thinking bad things about me. I guess because my parents were never really there for me and I kind of raised myself. I am married to a wonderful man and he always tells me how pretty I am and how he loves me for who I am and not what I look like. But I can't seem to see that in myself. When I look in the mirror I see all the things I hate and nothing I really like. Can anyone help me find peace with myself?

GlindaofOz · Jul 27, 2007, 06:29 PM

Have you ever gone to a counselor? It may help. If not I would just start trying to do things that make you help and try to be aware of your negative thoughts. Like if you feel yourself thinking "oh all these people think I'm joke" instead stop it and say something like wow look at all these people excited to talk to me and get to know me.

You have to start putting yourself in a different light. Something that's goofy but can be effective is to sit down and list good points about yourself - things others have said to you or things you think about yourself and tack it up by your mirror and in the morning read it out loud and say I am all those things and more. It will start to sink in and you'll start to really believe it.

Another thing that helps is set small goals for yourself and every time you achieve one it will make you feel better about yourself.

I would also recommend (if you don't already) taking some time out for exercise as another posted stated it has been proven that people who exercise tend to feel better about themselves.

Canada_Sweety · Jul 27, 2007, 07:12 PM

Perhaps seeking professional help would be good.
You should look at what you have to offer on the inside rather then the out. You'll see that once you see your inner beauty it will shine on through.:)

CaptainRich · Jul 27, 2007, 07:15 PM

You can live in the land of oz. I like it there.

But... you've got to find yourself! And that's not always easy. First, you've got to know if you matter. EVERYBODY MATTERS!

But you've got to figure out why... what makes you... well, you? It's different for everyone. I think what matters today, will change from day to day, week to week, etc. So you have to stay fluid in what makes you.

But be advised: you are you. That won't change. But what makes you tick and what makes different, what makes you motivated, that's what make a difference. That's what will matter in the long run!

Be the best you there is! Take your time!

yaleoxford2nd · Jul 28, 2007, 08:46 PM

It doesn't matter what people think of you, its what you think of yourself. You need to sit down and ask yourself who you are (not just your name but really deeply who are you! )
You need to except who you are especially if its good! If not then find your good self and work on it.
Its you can rule and you know where you've been and its you that rules your life... follow your heart but sometimes you need to follow your brain too! Find your inner self and you'll be fine and think about what you want and how you react to things and how you need yourself and remember LOVE YOURSELF! I HOPE I HELPED YOU!! :):)

wall12 · Jul 28, 2007, 09:24 PM

One of the most satisfying things you can ever do to yourself is by simply loving yourself. Relying on others to make you feel good has never been rewarding, because at the end of the day, you're all that you've got. That said, I think you should start to focus on things that make YOU happy. What is it that makes you happy? Is it painting, is it cooking? Regardless, you should indulge into that passion of yours. By focusing on your hobbies, you slowly start to fill in the empty holes in your heart. You're doing something that's making YOU feel really good; and without realizing it, you're slowly starting to grow this confidence. With that confidence, you'll really start to truly appreciate and love yourself. You'll discover that it is the only tool that you need to make you feel fully content with what you've got. Another note, if you haven't picked up on exercising, you should consider it. There's a huge amount of therapy involved in working out. Not only does it shape you physically, but it also shapes you both mentally and emotionally. So just give these a try, and before you know it, you'll start picking out the all the positives that you have when standing in front of the mirror! Good luck!

klovesj110603 · Jul 29, 2007, 03:17 PM

Thanks for all yalls help. I'm glad I have people on here that can give good advice. Thanks again!!

chuff · Jul 29, 2007, 05:28 PM

If you focus on the negative that is what you get. In you short original post you said that you raised yourself. Give yourself some credit for that. Many people come from rich families and should seemingly have it all and yet have nothing. Your already a step ahead of those people. You also point out that you married a great man. Congradulate yourself on that. Keep the focus on the positive.

Marily · Jul 31, 2007, 10:41 AM

What keeps me happy and feeling good about myself is when I could live a life for others, not in doing major things so much but to be a friend to someone who's lonely, to greet someone with a smile, to reward the negative with a positive and to provide where I can nutures my soul, it sure does wonders :)