[pikachufannumber1]

to express how I feel. I wrote a poem and I don't know if its very good because I don't write in this style. I'm just trying to mix it up a little. Can anyone please read it. I will accept constructive criticism but no bad reviews please. Thanks for reading it and halping me learn how to write better poetry. So here it is.

There's many things you give me
friendship is the best
and I really hope that you can see
I sincerely miss the rest

your smile was another
some ideas better than mine
a face unlike any other
and you're great at being kind

your personality stirs my thoughts
your way with expression is weird but fun
but sometimes you make me very distraught
even so I love the way your so certain

I try so hard but I can't think straight
it's like my abilities are starting to soften
and that's affecting my way to create
what I'm trying to say is I need your inspiration

p.s. I haven't decided on a name yet so any names are welcome.

[Wondergirl]

If you care about rhythm and rhyme scheme, keep reading. Otherwise, go on to the next response and ignore this one.

One thing I've learned is never mess with someone's poetry. Poetry is from the heart. No one can say it's right or wrong, good or bad. Poetry is emotion in words.

Now that I've said that, I will do exactly what I said not to do. It's basically a good poem, but your rhyme scheme is a bit off. For instance, your first verse's rhyme scheme is choppy:

--/-/-/-
-/-/-
--/-/-/-/
--/-/-/

I slightly rewrote the first verse. See how the rhyme scheme is now the same for every other line, so it reads smoother?:

Such riches you have given me --
Our friendship is the best.
I always dream you'll finally see
How much I miss the rest.

-/-/-/-/
-/-/-/
-/-/-/-/
-/-/-/

I'm not a poet, but I'm big on rhythm in rhymed verses. Write a verse and then try to clap to it in a beat.

I hope this didn't offend you. I had a bear of a poetry teacher in high school. He had us clapping to various rhyme schemes and then we clapped to sonnets by Shakespeare and poems of Christina Rossetti and Robert Frost and Gwendolyn Brooks and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. My hands still hurt.

[cal823]

Awesome poem lol, I started writing poetry a little while ago, though the poem I posted on this site was quite a bit... well, when my friends saw it, they were scared lol

[pikachufannumber1]

Thank you peoples. Yes it was off wondergirl but I'm just going to keep it the way it is ebcause it wouldn't be me if I rewrote it that way.

[pikachufannumber1]

Kay thanks. I will.

[Canada_Sweety]

I like it a lot. I started writing poetry a few years ago when my best friend moved to British Columbia... i stopped for a while but his death got me back to writing, so keep on going, because poetry is your soul speaking in wonderful words & rhymes.

[Kellyisawsome]

I write poetry.
I thought your poem was good.
I think your poem should be called "Someone kind."
;)