[Joe2982]

I took Talaniman's advice and sent a text message asking how she has been. I figure it is two weeks, so it really couldn't hurt. Tell me if you guys agree.

[Sdjosh]

Its hard to work on yourself while at the same time trying to work out relationship issues. It's a tight rope to walk. Stick to working on you. Make it a habit. Continue with therapy and try to keep the contact to a minimum. If you do contact her... don't bring up problems from the relationship. Be all about the positive things.

[Joe2982]

Well I never planned on bringing up anything about the relationship. She said she wanted to work on reestablishing the trust. How else can we do that if there is no contact between us. I felt I had to break the ice somehow.

[Sdjosh]

Ok... thats good. Reestablishing the trust is a long process... just take it slow and don't have expectations. The best way to establish trust is to be a good friend... listen... keep the friendship fun... lighthearted... laugh as much as possible. In short... be good friends.

[talaniman]

This is the hard part, leave her alone and she if she acknowledges the text. If not you have nothing holding you back, and no escuses not to worry about just you, and your healing. (there's no excuse anyway)

[Joe2982]

She may make me sweat this out and hold back from responding for a little bit

[Joe2982]

2 hours now, and I still have heard nothing

[Flyguy1784]

Joe I feel your pain man I am in the same boat as you but it seems she has given you a little more hope then mine has. You just have to be patient don't stress on it go out for a run, bike, hit the gym, call your buds and get out on the golf course just do something to keep your mind off it.

I am getting is such great shape right now and I feel so good about myself. When I start to fall back and want to talk/text her I read this I am a religious person and I am not forcing this on you but it helps me!

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13:4-8

[Joe2982]

Thank you flyguy... that does help. The only problem is I don't know If she even loves me anymore. I am filled with so much doubt.

[Haplo]

Joe,

The past 2 years of my life have been consumed with a situation similar to this. I'm not going to get into specifics, but I will say one thing. Patience is key. I know the fears you speak, the thoughts that she doesn't love you anymore and how they worm their way inside your heart and mind and drive you crazy. You are not alone.

One thing that I always had to remember, and still try to when it's necessary is to remember that the other person is just as scared as you are. That they also probably freak out about contact and how to handle it. Remember that she is human too, and she's got to work her way through this as well. Have faith that things can be repaired, but that it's a slow process, a very slow process. You're taking steps and that is the right thing to do.

[Joe2982]

I would like to think she is just as scared as me, but I don't feel it. Her actions are speaking louder than words, and I just don't think she cares anymore.

[Flyguy1784]

Haplo is right on Joe - she is just as scared as we are but it was her choice to do this so she has to remain strong and not show you that she is scared because she really wants to repair herself. Just keep busy keep your head up there is no way to predict what will happen so why stress about it focus make yourself better fix your problems that is all we can do right now.

[Joe2982]

My brother tells me that text messaging her shows a breakdown on my part, and that I just ruined everything. Is this true?

[Haplo]

My brother tells me that text messaging her shows a breakdown on my part, and that I just ruined everything. Is this true?

No, it's not true. One of the biggest difficulties in situations like these is that there are going to be lots and lots of people telling you you're doing something wrong or that you've made a mistake. You're not, and you haven't.

Part of love is exposing yourself and accepting that you may get hurt for your actions. You've initiated some contact and reminded her that you're still there. There's nothing wrong with that.

Now the ball is in her court and give her time and space to decide what she wants to do with it.

[talaniman]

2 hours now, and I still have heard nothing

Instead of taking positive action your sitting waiting on a maybe.TSK<TSK, I told you there are no more excuses, and here you sit completely out of focus letting your thoughts F""k you up. Now is the time to get up and get busy, not sit on big dusty staring at life, GET A LIFE!! Clean your closet, polish your shoes, anything but sitting with a dumb look, on your impatient A$$. Get with the program!!

[Joe2982]

I guess the best thing for me to do now is just move on and live my life. Time will tell the outcome of all this.

[Flyguy1784]

Joe you are right on there is nothing else you can do just keep busy, keep making yourself a better person, and look for strength in yourself to get through this. No one knows what will happen in the future but the worst thing we can do is stress about the future that just clouds our thoughts and sets us a few steps back. Learn to know that the only person you need to make you happy is yourself this trait is something that all women are very attracted to. Go out and live have fun keep your head up you will do just fine.

[Joe2982]

I have a question. The more time that passes, aren't the two of us going to fall out of love with each other?

[Canada_Sweety]

Not neciessarily. Have you ever heard the saying "the heart grows fonder with distance"? You just have to think positively, and remember that the more thinking the better because it will lead to your relationship improving.:)

[samesame]

I think that depends. I'm in your shoes too and I've asked a lot of people a lot of questions and from what I gather this is the gist of it... the way you guys left things off don't sound bad, so as time goes on she will forget about the negative things and remember the good times you guys shared. She will miss you... this works for you, but it will take a bit of time to sink in because she's the one that called it off.

The only risk of being apart is who they or you meet in between that time apart, and with that no one has control. I think the only chances of someone ever getting completely over an ex that did not end badly is if they fall in love with someone else they are completely happy with, because that will fill the void of loneliness and possible regret the ex left behind.