[still_holding_on]

OK, so... my last relationship was far from good. To make a long story short I was with a man who was very violent, he physically, emotionally, mentally, etc. abused me on a daily basis. I spent many nights in an emergency room or sneaking out while he slept. I finally got away for good when things went too far, I became pregnant with his child, I was too scared to tell him for nearly 2 months (he told me he never wanted kids even though that's all I ever wanted) when I told him he lost it and started beating me, and I lost the baby. That memory has consumed my life and now I'm overly cautious and don't trust any man. I met someone and he wants us to try to have a relationship. My question is... do I tell him about my past- the abuse and the baby and everything? I have a son which this man is fine with, I just feel like if I tell him he'll be scared away, but if I don't and he finds out later he'll be upset with me... should I tell him or not?

[Parajr]

When the time is right tell him. Don't just start the realationship with this becaue it may appear that you are consumed by this. If you are consumed by this and it is going to cause problems in the relationship then you may consider telling him up front. Let me know if this helped you.

[talaniman]

How long have you been dealing with this new guy? I think you should wait until you trust him enough to be comfortable. I also think you should be sure your even ready for a relationship. A lot of times we just want some one to comfort us, and choose the same type of person who has brought hurt and misery. Be sure your ready before you jump in, and get to know the real person before you put your heart in so deep. They all look good in the beginning, and you should go slow, until you know that he is as good as he looks.