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perfectlyhappy · Jul 19, 2007, 03:22 PM

So me and my boyfriend of a year and a half broke up about a month ago and today his sister-in-law is having a baby... so as my bad luck goes my mom had sugery today and since my dad had to work afterwards I had to stay and sit with her... well of course she went into labor today... so I run into all of his family besides him... he called me to tell me that she was in labor because when we broke up he promised me he would let me know... I was with him when he found out they were going to have a baby and even when it was going to be a boy... I left when I took my mom home and now I feel as if I should still be there... even though I'm not connected anymore I feel like I should be... I just don't know what to do... maybe I just wanted to complain about how I miss the way things were... I wish they were...

CaptainRich · Jul 19, 2007, 06:20 PM

Obviously, you bonded somewhat to his family. You were part of them, them part of you. That happens. And you cared enough to be interested in what's going on, even still. You aren't committed to go, but feeling somewhat guilty because you're not there. Hmmm... Ya got a lot on your platter now! I'd like to think that if you get time in the next day or two you'll find yourself over there to visit her and her new baby. How could you resist? You sound like good people to me. You were together then, but you didn't say why you're not now...
Give that some thought.

perfectlyhappy · Jul 19, 2007, 07:44 PM

Why me and clay aren't together?
This is a question I have been asked a lot. WE were so happy and I know without a doubt that what we had was real and I will never doubt that. WHile we were together he developed a deeper relationship with one of his guy buddies. We spent a lot of time together while we were away at college but then when we came home he seemed to be more interested in his buddies than spending time with me. I would get mad when I thought he didn't want to spend time with me and I would fuse at him and drove him away. I changed a lot in the last 4 or 5 months. I stopped talking to God and I became a much more bitter person. I hated so many things. This is something I hate to admit because me and clay could pray and talk about God together and I really enjoyed that. When we broke up I was so upset but I realized that that was my choice and that for the last 5 months I had chose to be miserable. So breaking up actually helped me realized that I wasn't myself. I began to do quiet times with God again and I feel overall more happy and just better. I also believe that us not being together right now is the right thing for both of us. We had reached a point in our relationship where we were pushing our physical boundaries every time. So if nothing more than the two reason mentioned above we broke up. I have made it cleaer that I want to be with him but Clay isn't convince that that's that right thing for us. He said he doesn't want to give me false hope so he rarely talks about the situation. I just wish their was a way of telling whether he wanted it to work again.

And an update on the baby... Dalton was born about 3 hours ago and is healthy and "perfect"
Thank you for the encourement I appreciate it

CaptainRich · Jul 20, 2007, 06:04 AM

Originally Posted by perfectlyhappy

This is something i hate to admit because me and clay could pray and talk about God together and i really enjoyed that. When we broke up i was so upset but i realized that that was my choice and that for the last 5 months i had chose to be miserable. So breaking up actually helped me realized that i wasn't myself.

So, now you're a freelance, unburdened, and able to do what you want to do, when you want to do it.

I'm sure you've heard the saying, "If you love something, set it free..."

Well, sometimes that's just alot-o-crap!

You have the option to go to him, speak your mind, even if your voice shakes, and tell him how you feel...

Or... you can just go about your life, and then one day, when you least expect it, someone will wander into your life, and you'll go from there. And you'll grow from there.

Btw: I like the name Dalton. Sounds somewhat regal, yes?

perfectlyhappy · Jul 20, 2007, 07:31 PM

Dalton is a family name... its been pass down... I love the name too

As far as telling him how I feel... he knows we have talked... or more like I have talked while he listens he says he doesn't know what to say back to me... he fears that if he says he wants us to work that that would be giving me false hope... he says he doesn't want to led me on... I don't think I'm going to bring it up or at least for awhile... the last time we talked about it was Sunday night... we met in person and talked a lot about it... I told him I wasn't going to call him again until he called me and he called yesterday to tell me about the baby... which makes me kind of sad... he forgot that my mom was having sugery and that was hard for me not to say anything because I didn't want to be mean to him on his happy day... but it did hurt it just seems to me that if he really cared about me he would have remembered and I also feel that if he cared about me he would have called earlier... I don't know... it just hurts that he got over it so quick I guess.

CaptainRich · Jul 20, 2007, 08:02 PM

Yeah, he seems more than just a little stand-offish. But he might be holding a lot back. A lot of guys, heck, a lot of people don't know how they feel about themselves, let alone sharing what you might be going through. That's very normal, even if it's annoying!

Now your saying he makes no effort. Hmmm.. Maybe you deserve better. Maybe he's not going to be good enough...

By the way : how's mom?

perfectlyhappy · Jul 21, 2007, 10:31 AM

My mom is doing good... just in a lot of pain... the pain medicine she's on isn't very strong or at least not strong enough... but other than that she goes back to the doctor on Monday to have the bandages and tubes removed from her nose so hopefully she'll be better soon... thanks for you advice and thanks for asking about my mom that means a lot to me.