[woh337]

Hi everyone,

What should I do after my first date with a guy?

I want to show him that I am interested in having a secnd date with him, but I don't want make him mistake that I already want a relationship.

I made some mistake before by expressing it... I ended up making the guys thought I already wanted a relationship, I scared them away:(

Aw... I don't want t omake the same mistakes over and over again, but what should I say to him then?

Any advice?

Thanks

[kp2171]

Well... how did you end up on the first date? Did he ask you or did you push it or did it sort of just happen? Also, how do you know him? Will you see him around or will he or you need to call?

There is absolutely no need to push it into a "relationship" stage after one date. How old are you? Have you dated much before? Just helps me understand where you are coming from.

[jasonpeace]

Say like this:

I had a great time with you, I am free next Sat. what will you being doing on that day?

[s_cianci]

Wait a week or so. He may call you. If he doesn't and you really still want to see him, then drop him a quick line and suggest something, like coffee or a drink. His response will cue you as to whether he's interested in seeing you again.

[GoldieMae]

Here's how the dialog usually goes, not kidding.

W: I had a great time tonight. [Mention what you did that night: that movie was really funny; you're such a good pool player, you need to teach me how you made that shot; I didn't know someone could do that with a ping pong ball, etc.]

M: I had a great time, too. We should do this again.

W: I'd like that. [fiddles with keys, smiles, looks him in the eyes, tilts head, bites bottom lip, bats eyes once or twice]

M: I'll give you a call.

W: Absolutely! [repeat what's in bracket above]

If the guy doesn't kiss you or at least move in for a kiss, you ain't getting a second date. If he does, then chances are 50-50.

M: Can I call you on Sunday?

70-30 you will get a second date.

W: I'll be around all day, so call me anytime. [touch his arm, smile and wait for second, smaller kiss] Well, I have to get up really early tomorrow, otherwise I'd invite you in.

If he pouts, take third small kiss, bat eyes and say: I'll talk to you on Sunday.


In all seriousness, it's what you do during the date that is important. Have a good time, and even if you're not doing your favorite thing, act like you are having a good time and like he is the only person around. Listen, smile, touch his arm or hand occasionally (no where else), look him directly in the eye and give him a squinty flirty smile. Don't talk about yourself too much, and only when he asks. Just seem interested without seeming overly interested; don't act clingy. Never reach for his hand to hold only accidentally brush it. Never mention wanting a boyfriend, wanting a relationship, other men, or even other women. Talk about having fun together because on a first date, that's what it's all about.

Of course, if he starts talking about being your boyfriend, having a relationship, other relationships, don't smile at him at the end of the date. Just say you had a good time, say you have to get up early, and go inside. And if he says you should do it again sometime, just say "Sure,"

[nicespringgirl]

Here's how the dialog usually goes, not kidding.

W: I had a great time tonight. [Mention what you did that night: that movie was really funny; you're such a good pool player, you need to teach me how you made that shot; I didn't know someone could do that with a ping pong ball, etc.]

M: I had a great time, too. We should do this again.

W: I'd like that. [fiddles with keys, smiles, looks him in the eyes, tilts head, bites bottom lip, bats eyes once or twice]

M: I'll give you a call.

W: Absolutely! [repeat whats in bracket above]

If the guy doesn't kiss you or at least move in for a kiss, you ain't getting a second date. If he does, then chances are 50-50.

M: Can I call you on Sunday?

70-30 you will get a second date.

W: I'll be around all day, so call me anytime. [touch his arm, smile and wait for second, smaller kiss] Well, I have to get up really early tomorrow, otherwise I'd invite you in.

If he pouts, take third small kiss, bat eyes and say: I'll talk to you on Sunday.


In all seriousness, it's what you do during the date that is important. Have a good time, and even if you're not doing your favorite thing, act like you are having a good time and like he is the only person around. Listen, smile, touch his arm or hand occasionally (no where else), look him directly in the eye and give him a squinty flirty smile. Don't talk about yourself too much, and only when he asks. Just seem interested without seeming overly interested; don't act clingy. Never reach for his hand to hold only accidentally brush it. Never mention wanting a boyfriend, wanting a relationship, other men, or even other women. Talk about having fun together because on a first date, that's what it's all about.

Of course, if he starts talking about being your boyfriend, having a relationship, other relationships, don't smile at him at the end of the date. Just say you had a good time, say you have to get up early, and go inside. And if he says you should do it again sometime, just say "Sure,"

What a great post here! So helpful!
One question: due to culture difference, personally, I can't do this-kiss a guy or being kissed by a guy on the first date, what should I do then? What if I like a second date with him but I don't want to be physically touched AT ALL?:confused:
Thanks.

[kp2171]

I don't agree with no kiss on the first date means no second.

I didn't kiss my wife on the first date. Didn't kiss the girl before her or the one before that on the first date. And those three relationships lasted 4 year for the two girls and 8 years and counting for my marriage.

Body language can be important... I have kissed girls on the first date, but I wouldn't necessarily feel like if I don't lean in I'm not going to get a second chance or that I'm sending the wrong message.

I think it's a case by case basis. A date doesn't obligate you to anything and as long as he seems interested, there you go. Long term you shouldn't be surprised though if physical intimacy becomes in play.

You never mentioned the situation. Where do you know him from? What the situation? More info is helpful.

[woh337]

Hi thanks for all the responses.
I am 21, I have known the guy about 3 months. I met him through a mutual friend. We never meet face-to-face, we have been talking online.
Thank you hope that will help.
Let me know if there is anything that would help.