[modular01]

She said she was confused about what, if anything, she wanted right now.

I have since heard that she told a good friend something along the lines of "it's not that I don't like him, it's just that I didn't see our relationship going anywhere."

From my own thoughts on the subject, I think it was a combination of things that ultimately lead to her losing her initial attraction in me.

First of all, she went to Europe for three weeks with a good (girl) friend of hers. I was in between school and summer employment, and found myself missing her a great deal. While we sent equally musy emails, so to speak, talking about how much we missed each other, I think while she was keeping busy, I was just kind of sitting around, wanting to be with her.

She came back, but had to head home for 4-5 days. So, in the last month that we dated, I barely saw her.

That said, just a few days prior to our breakup, she was complaining about not seeing me enough, and was asking for a set of keys to my apartment.

I also told her that I loved her (about 2 weeks for the breakup). She smiled, held me closer and kissed me, saying she was happy to hear it, but did not say it back. The next day, she said she wanted to make sure that it meant something when she said it.

So, in sum, I think the dynamic of our relationship changed with the advent of summer, her trip (first time out of the country), me telling her that I loved her, and me (probably) being perceived as somewhat needy/clingy.

Let me know if I can add any more useful information.

I'd give it another week after she returns to the country, and see what kind of contact (if she calls you to talk or something along those lines) happens, then go from there.

Hopefully my advice helps, good luck with everything.

[mckenzie134]

Do not SEND UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES! YOU ARE only showing her breaking up with you and treating you,like this is OK. YOu MUST do NOTHING show her you don't put up with this!! You're the prize not her girls love a prize!! Give her floweres you will be further out she will say thanks I need more time!! Trust me

[LivingtheLifeinFLA]

I agree with McKensie. Not sure how old you all are but I think that she lost interest somewhere.

Now put yourself in her shoes. You dumped her, she's nice but you are just not that into her and then a gift appears. You would probably be turned off and think.. . Back off and not reply to her.

Now on the other hand, if you 'broke up with her and you haven't heard from her for a while and then one day get a random email asking about something that you talked about before you would probably think cool, she's not psyco over this, I can be friends and email her back.

The key is to open the communication line up gently and try and work your way back in over a long time.

However, I have found that once is girl is done, she is done. So, suck it up and start dating some others.

Best to you.

[mckenzie134]

How long you been dating??

[tiodaat]

How long you been dating????

5 or 5.5 months.

[Skell]

You shouldn't be letting it bother you too much then.

If she comes back she comes back. If not then it is only a 5month old relationship. I know it still hurts and you can fall quickly but at least you haven't invested years into it.

Just get back to living life the way you did before she came along. Surely you remember how it was. It wasn't that long ago. Go out with your mates and have some fun.

[tiodaat]

You shouldnt be letting it bother you too much then.

If she comes back she comes back. If not then it is only a 5month old relationship. I know it still hurts and you can fall quickly but at least you havent invested years into it.

Just get back to living life the way you did before she came along. Surely you remember how it was. it wasnt that long ago. Go out with your mates and have some fun.

Thanks for the encouraging words.

I am crazy about her--haven't felt even remotely this interested in someone for years. Granted I am only 24, but I'll be done with grad school in 2 years, and, while probably getting ahead of myself, was thinking I could see myself with this girl for a long time.

I'll do my best to living like I use to, though.

[Inspired]

Tiodatt,
Was it really necessary to give me a negative "not helpful" remark because I told you not to send flowers to her. ITs obvious why, because she's your EX and she broke up with you. Happy?

[SAB123]

Since it has been only 5 month relationship, and you admit you were a clingy person. By not sending flowers you will not look like a clingy person. I would not contact her again. Let her contact you! If she does act happy but make it short and simple. She probably doesn't like clingy guys, so if you guys get back be less clingy. But do NC let her no your not clingy person.

[tiodaat]

tiodatt,
was it really necessary to give me a negative "not helpful" remark because I told you not to send flowers to her. ITs obvious why, because shes your EX and she broke up with you. Happy??

It really wasn't all that obvious why I shouldn't, and like my comment suggested, your initial response really was not all that helpful.

[tiodaat]

Since it has been only 5 month relationship, and you admit you were a clingy person. By not sending flowers you will not look like a clingy person. I would not contact her again. Let her contact you! If she does act happy but make it short and simple. She probally doesn't like clingy guys, so if you guys get back be less clingy. But do NC let her no your not clingy person.

Thanks for your reply; I'll keep up with the NC.

[hettie]

As someone who would love to receive flowers from her ex to know he still cares I say send the flowers you have nothing to lose but everything to gain, although I admit I would have my ex back in a heartbeat which isn't going to happen as he met someone a t the wekend there I would still love to know he cares enough to do something like that. GO FOR IT AND GOOD LUCK X

[mckenzie134]

Hope you isn't sent those flowers it won't help. Do nothing wait for her to contact you...

[s_cianci]

I think your "cons" far outweigh your "pros" in that the cons have a much greater chance of coming true than the pros. I wouldn't do it. It's good that she's contacted you twice so far. Continue to let her be the one contacting you. Meanwhile you build your life around you, not her.

[mckenzie134]

DO NOT SEND THE FLOWERS!! Everyone says girls are different they will be mover!! Yes flowers are one of the greatest thing to get a girl to drop her pants and she will love you heaps and think how special you are, but mate this is while you are in the relationmship not when you're out!!

These peoplke are thinking about giving a girl floewers while your with her don't listen to them they have no idea, she dumpoed on you and you want to give her a present saying its OK to crap on me I'm a LOSER who can't do any better.

Who wants to be with a bloke with no self respect she wants a man who takes no crap, give that to her and show her and give her nothing till your back in...

Anyone who says give her flowers is TOTALLY WRONG!! Play it cool if she misses you she will be back make her wonder what you are doing. Youi know what flowers soound good but says to me HIS WAITING LIKE A PUPPY DOG it won't bring on the feelings of missing YOU!!


GIVE her the greatest gift

The gift of realising she is losing the greatest guy from her life this is why they love you mate they can't live without you!!
WAIT IT OUT and do nothing or have you already sent them!! You probably have ITS WRONG!!

Let us know what you did??

[tiodaat]

DO NOT SEND THE FLOWERS!!! Everyone says girls are different they will be mover!!!! Yes flowers are one of the greatest thing to get a girl to drop her pants and she will love you heaps and think how special you are, but mate this is while you are in the relationmship not when youre out!!!!!

These peoplke are thinking about giving a girl floewers while your with her dont listen to them they have no idea, she dumpoed on you and you want to give her a present saying its ok to crap on me im a LOSER who can't do any better.

Who wants to be with a bloke with no self respect she wants a man who takes no crap, give that to her and show her and give her nothing till your back in.....

Anyone who says give her flowers is TOTALLY WRONG!!! Play it cool if she misses you seh will be back make her wonder what you are doing. Youi know what flowers soound good but says to me HIS WAITING LIKE A PUPPY DOG it wont bring on the feelings of missing YOU!!!!


GIVE her the greatest gift

The gift of realising she is losing the greatest guy from her life this is why they love you mate they can't live without you!!!
WAIT IT OUT and do nothing or have you already sent them!!! You probly have ITS WRONG!!!!

Let us know what you did???

I haven't sent them.

She won't be back for about 2 weeks, so I have some time to decide.

As of now, I am not planning to send them to her.

[tiodaat]

I think your "cons" far outweigh your "pros" in that the cons have a much greater chance of coming true than the pros. I wouldn't do it. It's good that she's contacted you twice so far. Continue to let her be the one contacting you. Meanwhile you build your life around you, not her.

Thank you for your input.

[jasonpeace]

Yes, women LOVE flowers but don't send her roses, you will scare her away!

[GoldieMae]

Obviously, I am in the minority here. I still think you should send her flowers with a friendly card, just to brighten her place when she gets back. I agree roses are a bad idea, but who's to say orchids or a simple summer Day Lily arrangement wouldn't be a nice thing?

It has absolutely nothing to do with getting her to drop her pants or what-not, and more to do with a reminder that you still love her. If you really do love her (and I mean love and not just a crush), then why worry about looking desperate? If you get rejected, at least you can say you tried. And if you don't try, then you never will know if you will end up back together, married, with babies, sometime down the road.

My husband, to the outside world, would have looked severely desperate when he tried to win me back, but really he was in love and wanted me back in a bad way. If he had followed that whole no contact rule, I'd be dating some loser down south instead of married with a family.

Just saying. Take it or leave it.

[tiodaat]

Obviously, I am in the minority here. I still think you should send her flowers with a friendly card, just to brighten her place when she gets back. I agree roses are a bad idea, but who's to say orchids or a simple summer Day Lily arrangement wouldn't be a nice thing?

It has absolutely nothing to do with getting her to drop her pants or what-not, and more to do with a reminder that you still love her. If you really do love her (and I mean love and not just a crush), then why worry about looking desperate? If you get rejected, at least you can say you tried. And if you don't try, then you never will know if you will end up back together, married, with babies, sometime down the road.

My husband, to the outside world, would have looked severely desperate when he tried to win me back, but really he was in love and wanted me back in a bad way. If he had followed that whole no contact rule, I'd be dating some loser down south instead of married with a family.

Just saying. Take it or leave it.

Thanks for your input on this.

This is essentially the reason I am still considering sending them at all.

I think she knows that I really care about, and love her, though.

I suppose the flowers would reinforce this, but I am not sure if it's the right thing to do.

This decision is much more difficult than I anticipated it would be.