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GlindaofOz · Jul 17, 2007, 10:03 PM

I'm 28 years old, far from being a teenager upset about her mom "hating her". A little about myself: I was a good kid growing up, I never got into trouble, got good grades, I was always responsible and respectful. I went to college on scholarship and was always able to support myself. From what people have told me I'm pretty much how you would want your kid to grow up.

My mom and I had what I thought was an okay relationship, I never felt like I could tell her what was really going on in my life like if things were bad or if I was having troubles with things (money, relationships - typically twenties stuff). Recently, I had asked her if I could move back home because I wanted to start a business with my Aunt (something we had been developing and planning for over 5 years). She agreed. Since I've moved home, I clean the house everyday, make dinner, do all the chores. I try to keep out of her way since I know she's particular.

Anyway, what I've noticed since I've moved home is that she really does not care for me. I'm beginning to believe that its always been so its just that there has been physical distance between us so it has not been so noticeable. For example, she would never return my phone calls when I lived far away. Weeks could go by before she and I would talk and it never seemed to bother her. If I finally worked up the courage to ask her advice or help on a problem I was having I would get read the riot act and told to figure it myself.

I guess what I want to know is what makes a parent love their kid? What can I do here? My father is out of the picture (which is for the best he is a very mentally ill person) so my mother is all that I have. There is nothing else in this world that I want more then for my mother to love me and it seems to be the one thing that I cannot have.

If anyone has any suggestions I'd appreciate the help. Thanks.

babigirl1 · Jul 17, 2007, 10:24 PM

I really hate t hear that you are going through this. Me and my mother are the same way. Have you tried talking to her ? I found out with my mother that she is jealous of me and what I have and become. I was also a good kid. Me and my mother live 450 miles apart and it has to be that way. We go weeks on ends without talking. I have just learnt that is who she is. I don't take it on myself because she is the way she is. I really believe some parents are born without the ability to love unconditionally. And I am a mother of a 16 year old and until I became a mother, it is only then that I realized that my mother didn't love me the way a mother should.Dont blame yourself for this. Everyone is different and we just have tp take them as they are. I hope I have helped you. Please rate me so I will know if I have helped you

GlindaofOz · Jul 18, 2007, 07:25 AM

I wish it was just that she is incapable. I have an older sibling who she loves dearly. We both have the same accomplishments, achievements, personalities. So I cannot understand why love for one but not the other.

startover22 · Jul 18, 2007, 07:49 AM

I wouldn't say she doesn't love you. I would say maybe she is not able to show you. Sit her down softly and talk with her a while. Ask her about how she is and what has happened while you were gone... Tell her thanks for all the "support" while you were growing up and the thoughtfulness to let you come back for a bit. Are you happy mom? Be completely about her and see where it takes you sweety. Just a small option it might work! Good luck!