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Esahdev · Jul 17, 2007, 12:42 PM

Hi!
I am married and have two beautiful children.My son is from my ex boyfriend who doesn't care about the child and also he is not in USA.My husband and I have a daughter together. My husband wants to give our son his last name. How do we do that?Me and my son are not US residents,but my husband and daughter are.
If anyone knows anything about how to do that,please reply.
Thank you in advance.

XenoSapien · Jul 17, 2007, 12:45 PM

Have him adopt your son.

XenoSapien

ScottGem · Jul 17, 2007, 12:47 PM

Either you are all US residents or none of you are. I suspect you mean US citizens. This may or may not complicate things. You should have gained citizenship by marrying a citizen, but that doesn't automatically confer it on your son.

So the bottomline is you need to go to a family attorney. The attorney will advise you on what your husband needs to do to adopt your son. You will need to either get the bio father to relinquish his rights or make a good faith attempt to do so. You will then need to file a petition of adoption with the court.

mr.yet · Jul 17, 2007, 12:47 PM

Your ex will have to consent to the adoption, contact an attorney in your area, he will explain the procedure to you.

Esahdev · Jul 17, 2007, 01:07 PM

Originally Posted by XenoSapien

Have him adopt your son.

XenoSapien

Okey,thanks

Esahdev · Jul 17, 2007, 01:10 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Either you are all US residents or none of you are. I suspect you mean US citizens. This may or may not complicate things. You should have gained citizenship by marrying a citizen, but that doesn't automatically confer it on your son.

So the bottomline is you need to go to a family attorney. The attorney will advise you on what your husband needs to do to adopt your son. You will need to either get the bio father to relinquish his rights or make a good faith attempt to do so. You will then need to file a petition of adoption withthe court.

Yep,I meant that,citizens.
The thing is my ex is way to far a way,I am not even sure where.We came from different coutries,we met in another one,he went back to his country and me,came over here.
But any way,thanks for advise.I will need to contact our laywer.

Esahdev · Jul 17, 2007, 01:13 PM

Originally Posted by mr.yet

Your ex will have to consent to the adoption, contact an attorney in your area, he will explain the procedure to you.

Even if my ex doesn't live here or even doesn't speak any english or even that by my laws I can have child on my own?No need for father.
And,forgot to mention.There is no father mentioned on my sons Birth Sertificate.And my ex saw the child maybe 2-3 times after he was born.

ScottGem · Jul 17, 2007, 02:49 PM

US laws make it difficult for a parent's parental rights to be taken away without consent. So you have to show the courts you made an effort to contact the bio father and get his consent. Yoiur attorney can advise you of what you have to do to try and get his consent, but you have to make an effort.

XenoSapien · Jul 17, 2007, 02:53 PM

You don't need the ex's consent. Publish an article in a newspaper; ANY newspaper in the state where the possible x lives. If after 30 days and there is no response, you can tell the judge that you tried, but got no response. This works.

The only thing the x can do is sign up for the putative father registry, which it sounds like he hasn't. Hence, you are free and clear, and don't need consent.

XenoSapien

ScottGem · Jul 17, 2007, 05:11 PM

Originally Posted by XenoSapien

You don't need the ex's consent. Publish an article in a newspaper; ANY newspaper in the state where the possible x lives. If after 30 days and their is no response, you can tell the judge that you tried, but got no response. This works.

The only thing the x can do is sign up for the putative father registry, which it sounds like he hasn't. Hence, you are free and clear, and don't need consent.

XenoSapien

Almost all family courts (all in the US) require that the bio father relinquish their rights before allowing someone else to adopt. However, there is provision in the law for instances where the bio father can't be reached or found. A good faith effort must be made to contact the bio father for permission. What that good faith effort entails is dictated by the court. It might be as simple as publishing an article in a local newspaper, or the court may require a greater effort. It varies by jurisidiction.

The fact is that the law requires permission, but provides for situations where it can't be obtained.