[cld1979]

No contact is difficult - I work with her!

I see what you're saying - and to a certain degree I agree. But (and I'm sure you have heard this before), she is actually a really shy, quiet girl who struggles to make friends.

She really does not seem the type to play games (although her friend may be! ). I really do believe she is confused. Maybe I'm being naïve, or maybe I simply care too much.

I'm not allowing myself to be played. I have not shown her any weakness - even though I may be feeling it. To the best of her knowledge, she thinks I'm cool. We've spoken maybe 3 times in 7 weeks, but nothing emotional or related to the relationship at all.

[L-001-06-H]

Avoid her... I've been in a similar situation, a long time ago... things are going to get even more awkward, best to leave it as best you can.

[cld1979]

I need some strength today!

As I was searching through my phone deleting old messages etc - I cam across a message from my ex. It says:

"I love you loads too ..... and I want to be with you forever which is strange thing to say wen we've only been together two and a half months but I just know! I love you and never want to lose you. Have a good day xxxxxxxxxxxx"

How can someone send this message and have these feelings, then be like she is now! I do not think I'll ever make sense of it!

I got messages like this all the time - right up until we split up! And since then, nothing!

She will reply to my texts - quickly, not days after. But will never text me first. I got a text from her sat thanking me for flowers (it was her birthday), but no emotion. Simply 3 words - thanks for flowers!

I do not understand. Surely these feelings cannot simply disappear?

[rankrank55]

After all of this time, I figured she's come around by now but she hasn't and she's not making you feel very good. At this point, cld it's probably time to take a step back from her, you've done a lot of sweet things for her and you have let her know that you still care and aren't willing to give up... she should realize that by now. If she truly wants to be with you she will let you know. Send her one last text explaining all of this to her; let her know that this is tearing your heart up and your so confused that you've got to stop and if she ever wants anything to do with you then she can let you know. Live your life now! Honestly I'm not too sure about all of those messages she sent you... im convinced that she liked you A LOT indeed but I'm kind of getting the feeling that she was just talking big for the sake of talking big if you know what I mean. If she really, truly, loved you her heart would be aching right now just as much as yours. Good luck darling!

[cld1979]

Thanks rankrank55!

Wondered if you were till here! I keep thinking I should take a step back - but it's so hard to do! I haven't really come on that strong anyway - a few messages now and then, to which she's replied. Plus the letter, and the flowers for her birthday.

I'm just scared that she is being stubborn. She hates being wrong. But, on the other hand, I know you're right. It's all one way at the moment. I'm giving, but getting nothing back. I guess I just keep thinking that there must be something I can do!

Facebook is evil. She has posted pictures of her in Faro, and her birthday night out - and she looked stunning in all of them. Guess I should be thankful though, there are no pictures of her with other men (despite there being photos of me with some spanish girls - she hasn't done the same!).

And, I still do not get the message from her cousin on Facebook. The lines "How's the love life? plan still working?" What the hell can that mean??

Do you really think I should send her one more message? I'm scared it'll push her away. Everyone seems to say leave the emotional stuff as it pushes them further away. But, you are the female here...

I'm so scared that even though she loves me, and is probably missing me, she will not make any move for whatever reason.

[rankrank55]

I understand what your thinking completely... your not sure what she is thinking and are afraid that if you do take a step back then she will never take a step forward. You've given and done a lot for this girl despite the fact that she hasn't done much back. If I were you, I would take a step back; this doesn't mean you can't be friendly or say hi this just means you should cease the messages and sweet nothings. Maybe once she sees that you don't worship her she will come around and it would get her brain ticking about you like... "why isn't he sending me messages anymore" "Is he seeing someone else"... just get the ole brain churning in her head. With this said, maybe you shouldn't even send her that last message in order to make her have to think a little more. Your not going to push her away, by doing this you will probably become more captivating in her eyes... more mysterious. As you are doing this though, try to honestly mentally separate from her though and move on a bit because the reality is that she might not try to come back to you... you have to be ready for that just in case. You will be able to see her true feelings about you once you take a step back, I can assure you of that. Now the message from the cousin... it seems that the were just casually speaking... does he/she know about your attempts to try and win back your ex? Yes, Facebook and myspace can be torture for an ex lol, it's probably best that you quit gazing at her page. It only makes your heart ache worse. :)

[cld1979]

Thank again for your advise.

Let's see what happens. It's the anniversary of her fathers death tomorrow (or today as it's now 1am here!). I feel like I should say something, but I think I'll probably just leave it and let her be with her family.

With regards to cousins message. The cousin has never met me as she lives in London (long distance away from me), so she has no idea about my plans to win her back. We've never even spoken. That's why I'm a little concerned it's about someone else!!

[talaniman]

I really think working with her works against you, as she can never really miss you at all, and her youth puts you two on different pages, as far as what you may want out of life. She is actually pretty typical for her age. The best I can see is to be friendly, but brief and move on with your life, and stop any undo contact except at work. You really need to balance your life with things that make you happy, and accept she doesn't want you as a boyfriend. Don't play games or delay in finding happiness without her. You fell deep in 5 months didn't you?

[L-001-06-H]

You fell deep in 5 months didn't you?

One can fall VERRY hard in 5 months...

[cld1979]

You fell deep in 5 months didn't you?

Yes!

But it was both sides. Not just me!

That's why everyone thought we were so good together. Her mum thought that I was 'the one' as she never really saw her ex's very often - but we were always together. Maybe she got scared. I really do not know!

She is a very confused girl - and it pains me to think that the only reason we are not still together is that she was scared of being hurt. All she needed to do was talk to me. But, she's so stubborn!

[talaniman]

I can understand it though, when your caught up in the moments

[emopunk7]

You will be fine!