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    Gem07's Avatar
    Gem07 Posts: 64, Reputation: 27
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Jul 16, 2007, 08:59 PM
    Fear of social gatherings
    I am a single, morbidly obese woman in my early 30s and I have an intense fear of social situations. I have skipped family events and graduations. I have skipped social work functions. I have signed up for classes and events and skipped them. I am afraid of looking foolish, not knowing what to say, boring everyone, not looking good, etc. I feel like people will be looking at me and judging me: the way I talk, look, think, act.

    Sometimes, in an effort to go, I will get dressed and look my best but by the time I pull into the parking lot, I realize I cannot go in and I leave. I spend a great deal of time in isolation, and do not want to continue to live this way. Most of my time is spent overeating, oversleeping, reading, surfing the Web. Ironically, I work in a field where I have to give presentations quite often. When the day is done, I lock the door and hide from my colleagues. I have no real-life friends and do things to push people away like not return phone calls, show up late or not at all, say "Yes, sounds fun" when offered an invitation and then no-show, etc.

    Thank you for any advice you can offer.
    rankrank55's Avatar
    rankrank55 Posts: 1,259, Reputation: 177
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Jul 16, 2007, 09:07 PM
    From what you have wrote, you seem to be a wonderfully intelligent, young woman who deserves to feel good! Why not start over and make some life changes... your worth it... you were born a miricle just like everyone else.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #3

    Jul 16, 2007, 09:10 PM
    You write very, very well! I'm very impressed! You are probably a terrific presenter too.

    Are you willing to go to your doctor, to let him discuss with you a healthful diet -- or he might send you to a nutritionist who will do the same thing?

    My boss was morbidly obese and in her 40s, finally took the bull by the horns and changed the way she eats, plus walks every day (at first, very little, but that increased day by day). It has taken her two years to get down to a normal weight for her height, but it was well worth it. She now has two guys chasing her.

    Are you up for that kind of challenge? You are still young and can really change your life now.

    (Or I could contact Oprah and get you on her show?? )
    rankrank55's Avatar
    rankrank55 Posts: 1,259, Reputation: 177
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Jul 16, 2007, 09:21 PM
    The most simple practices can make a huge impact in the long run. Avoiding fast food, eating your fruits and veggies, taking a walk everyday, and cutting out all sodas and sugary drinks can help so much with weight problems. Along with this, it's important to start thinking of yourself differently... your young and intelligent!
    harie's Avatar
    harie Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    Jul 16, 2007, 09:22 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Gem07
    I am a single, morbidly obese woman in my early 30s and I have an intense fear of social situations. I have skipped family events and graduations. I have skipped social work functions. I have signed up for classes and events and skipped them. I am afraid of looking foolish, not knowing what to say, boring everyone, not looking good, etc. I feel like people will be looking at me and judging me: the way I talk, look, think, act.

    Sometimes, in an effort to go, I will get dressed and look my best but by the time I pull into the parking lot, I realize I cannot go in and I leave. I spend a great deal of time in isolation, and do not want to continue to live this way. Most of my time is spent overeating, oversleeping, reading, surfing the Web. Ironically, I work in a field where I have to give presentations quite often. When the day is done, I lock the door and hide from my colleagues. I have no real-life friends and do things to push people away like not return phone calls, show up late or not at all, say "Yes, sounds fun" when offered an invitation and then no-show, etc.

    Thank you for any advice you can offer.
    Hi, I guess you're just afraid of rejection so you won't go out but hey life's great, You're missing a lot. Maybe you think so much what other people would say but in fact they don't bother. Why don't you try this, every morning say "I'm beautiful, no matter what", maybe it could help a lot. I have a friend you said "Never Mind those neighbors, let them mind their own Business." JUst be yourself. Try watching the movie "Phat Girl", it inspires a lot.

    Hope you'll go out of your shell sooner!!

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