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whisperingwind06 · Jul 16, 2007, 03:46 AM

I've been working with this company for a little over a year now. I recently had a change of management just after Christmas. My new manager was a friend of mine that I had always enjoyed talking to. After his break up with his girlfriend he became very angry at everyone and every word that came out of his mouth hurt me personally. After that I avoided him every chance he came by. I knew he was going through a tough time with the new position and his break up, but I was only 18 and two months so I was a little less understanding than I am now. Recently, we've been able to hold our old conversations and constantly laugh at how crazy life is. We've grown very close and we both like each other very much, but he is my manager. We know that it would be against company policy for a manager and his employee to go out together because of nepotism, so we've never mentioned it to anyone and try to keep it very quiet. He's 23 and I'm 18 we want to take our friendship to the next level but its hard for us to understand company policy. He keeps things professional when we are together and I don't expect favoritism from him, I actually would lose all respect for him if he did. We're not sure whether we should tell our boss and what type of reaction it might cause. I might have to switch departments if they say that we can't work together, but I really enjoy my current position and would never think of leaving it. I also worry that if I do change positions that I won't be able to talk to him as often as I once did. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

tickle · Jul 16, 2007, 04:58 AM

Actually nepotism is the favouritism of relatives in the workplace, but I get your point.

Office generated romances very seldom work out and inevitably the two people involved either move departments or move out of the company all together. Especially when the relationship sours and the two can't stand to look at each other any longer. That is the worse case scenario. Businesses see a situation like this as not conducive to objectiveness for a few reasons, one mentioned above in particular.

Its nice that the two of you worked at it and found common ground again after a tough spot. Maybe it is a good idea, if you two feel this is going somewhere, that you do move departments and can't communicate as before; say it would be a testing ground per se for your future together and if it doesn't turn out then the two of you can go your separate ways within the same company.

My two cents.

ScottGem · Jul 16, 2007, 05:49 AM

I disagree that office generated romances seldom work out. People frequently meet their partners through work. Besides, yours is not really an office generated romance.

That being said, DO NOT take this any further at this time. Dating someone who manages you at work is asking for trouble. If you can, out in for a transfer or find another job. Then you can pursue the romance.

whisperingwind06 · Jul 16, 2007, 01:10 PM

Originally Posted by tickle

Actually nepotism is the favouritism of relatives in the workplace, but I get your point.

Office generated romances very seldom work out and inevitably the two people involved either move departments or move out of the company all together. Especially when the relationship sours and the two can't stand to look at each other any longer. That is the worse case scenario. Businesses see a situation like this as not conducive to objectiveness for a few reasons, one mentioned above in particular.

Its nice that the two of you worked at it and found common ground again after a tough spot. Maybe it is a good idea, if you two feel this is going somewhere, that you do move departments and can't communicate as before; say it would be a testing ground per se for your future together and if it doesnt turn out then the two of you can go your separate ways within the same company.

My two cents.

This advice really helped me a lot. A position has opened in a department that I have always been interested in, I think I might go for it. And if we really like each other than it should all work out. And if our relationship doesn't work out than we can still be friends. Thank you very much, this advice was great!

nicespringgirl · Jul 18, 2007, 07:20 AM

Originally Posted by whisperingwind06

This advice really helped me a lot. A position has opened in a department that I have always been interested in, I think I might go for it. And if we really like each other than it should all work out. And if our relationship doesn't work out than we can still be friends. Thank you very much, this advice was great!

You are right about it!:) Way to go.

Hannah Senesh · Jul 27, 2007, 09:59 PM

Originally Posted by whisperingwind06

I've been working with this company for a little over a year now. I recently had a change of management just after Christmas. My new manager was a friend of mine that I had always enjoyed talking to. After his break up with his girlfriend he became very angry at everyone and every word that came out of his mouth hurt me personally. After that I avoided him every chance he came by. I knew he was going through a tough time with the new position and his break up, but I was only 18 and two months so I was a little less understanding than I am now. Recently, we've been able to hold our old conversations and constantly laugh at how crazy life is. We've grown very close and we both like each other very much, but he is my manager. We know that it would be against company policy for a manager and his employee to go out together because of nepotism, so we've never mentioned it to anyone and try to keep it very quiet. He's 23 and I'm 18 we want to take our friendship to the next level but its hard for us to understand company policy. He keeps things professional when we are together and I don't expect favoritism from him, I actually would lose all respect for him if he did. We're not sure whether we should tell our boss and what type of reaction it might cause. I might have to switch departments if they say that we can't work together, but I really enjoy my current position and would never think of leaving it. I also worry that if I do change positions that I won't be able to talk to him as often as I once did. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Oh God, not a good idea. Dating management, or even coworkers, is VERY risky. Just imagine working for your ex-boyfriend. Your what, 18? Chances are this is not your future husband, no offense. Some other poster mentioned transferring departments or even finding a new job before you date this manager.
That is also what I suggest. Playing with fire like this usually means someone will get burned. He's in management. Your more expendable than he is.