[hottfemme25]

This is my first time on this site, but I thought that it would be nice to get some advice from non-biased people (meaning not friends or family). Just a little background on my current relationship. Currently, my girlfriend and her son live with me, and we have been together for 6 months.

We do have a past, however, two years ago it didn't work out between us because we were both not over our ex's at the time, so we became friends, and really good friends. I moved out of town to start my dream career, and every time she found out that I was seeing a hott girl, she would want me to basically come over, knowing how attracted I was to her, and we would flirt and have sex. I started realizing how much she really meant to me, and her the same. Well, I got injured at my job, and had to resign, so I moved back to my hometown to get a job and to gain some experience elsewhere. I moved in with my parents at the time, then this past January, my girlfriend and I decided that we love each other so much, and that we should be together again, and move in with each other, and get our own place. Well, her, her son, and I moved in together, and everything was great! Then I started getting upset, because she would go out and not come home until 3 or 4 in the morning. Not to mention her psycho ex boyfriend would not leave her alone. Here's the catch... I am a woman. Both her and I are so beautiful together, we are both beautiful women, and people don't believe that we are really a "Couple" because we don't fit the "Stereotype". Anyhoo, we started arguing a lot, because she would come home during the wee hours of the night. She is a model, and also does promotions. So when she promoted she would afterwards hangout with her friends, I was always cool with that, however, I was always at home watching her son who is 4 years old.

This is the first time in years either her or I have lived with a significant other. So I have to admit it was a huge change for the both of us. My girlfriend has a past of being with guys who abused her and beat her up, and cheated on her. I am her first girl relationship. Anyhoo...

Things started going down hill, she thought that I was being controlling, because I thought that she should want to come home if at least not for me for her son, but she would always state what's the point if he is already sleeping. She is not a sexual person either, and I understand, she said that for once in her life, she does not want to be with someone who forces her to have sex, (her ex's would basically have sex with her without her wanted it) so I respect that and I have to admit, It used to get to me really bad, but I finally realized that it has nothing to do with me, but her. So I left her alone. Well, just recently she signed a contract with a modeling agency, to do nudes, etc. She is never home, and she is always busy. I finally realized that in order to be with her, I would have to be OK with her frequent absence. For awhile I have to admit that I felt as though she put me on the back burner for her job, and we did get into some arguments about how I just wanted to feel a little appreciated, since after all, I pay for practically all the bills, and food, and leisure for us. Once in awhile she will give me money for the utilities, plus I would watch her son when she is away. Most of the week she stays the night at her agents home (a wife and husband). I used to have a problem with that until recently, when I finally met them, etc. I want to be a good girlfriend, and that is why I am trying to be understanding about her new choice in careers.

We had planned on moving to LA once she starts making money, and I wasn't worried, because I could always find a job with my degree. But just yesterday I found out that she doesn't know if she wants to be with me, because I'm a girl. I told her that I never changed my gender, and that we have been off and on for 3 years now. She says that she is planning on leaving me and moving to LA (let me remind you that she said this when she was mad). All of this happened yesterday in front of her mother, and so then she said that it was over, I said back to her, "fine, then I am going to give 30 day notice (since the house is in my name) and we both will have to move out by the end of this month. Well, then she calmed down, and stated that she just doesn't have a sex drive for either a man or a woman right now. She told me that I am perfect in everyway except for one thing, and that is because I am a woman. Im so confused. So then I told her to look at me in the eye and tell me that its over. She couldn't do it, and she stated that she didn't want to officially make that decision, because when she is mad, she says things that she doesn't mean, and will regret. She said that she needs time to think things through, and stated that we are still together as of now anyway. I just don't know what to do. This all came out of nowhere. Any advice?

[Shaunta]

Well Im Not Much Of An Expert Or Not An Expert At All So I Do Want To Say Good Luck To You And I Will Keep You In My Prayers...

[hottfemme25]

Thank you Shaunta... We decided that we love each other, and that maybe we moved in together too quick. We agreed to move out of our home, stay together, but live not under the same roof!

[babigirl1]

I am glad to hear that you two worked everything out. Life takes everyone down different road and it seems that is what is going on with you two. I wish you both the best. The one thing that stood out to me . Was that you support her in what she is going through. That shows you are a good person. Any relationship goes through change and we just have to let our love see us through it all and grow. Godbless and I hope things work out for you all

[franklin girl]

I don't know if you are still going through this drama or not but it sounded very familiar and I wanted to say something that may or may not be useful. It sounds like there is a comfort there they neither of you are ready to be without so rather than being with someone who appreciates you and doesn't take advantage you stay. I know that it is not that black and white when it comes to the person that you love but your problems sound no different than a relationship that I had with a guy all through high school other than we were a straight couple. It is amazing what we will live with when we think that the person we are with in the "one". No one can ever tell you what to do but I can say that if there is confusion on whether she is in to anyone right not then you both need some space. The saying goes "if you love something let it go, if it comes back to you then it was yours, if it doesn't then it never was", or something like that.

Harder said than done as it took me 4 starts and stops with my guy to realize that it was never going to be a healthy relationship for me to be in.

Good luck and try to think of your needs in this relationship as it sounds like you are good person who deserves to be treated with the respect someone gives when they truly love you.

[babigirl1]

Very good advice. Wish you the best