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Worried Bride · Jul 6, 2007, 10:31 AM

My cousin is getting married next June. They have been planning the wedding for 2 years now. There are certain things that she just has to have for her wedding, so they had to wait. I have just gotten engaged and when I announced that we were going to be married 3 months ahead of her, that whole side of the family seemed very angry. Another cousin is getting married 2 weeks after her, and they are OK with that. I am planning a very simple wedding and the plans have been in the works for a while. Am I missing something here? There are enough things to worry about with a wedding, I don't want to have to worry that family is upset with me. Thank you for any peace of mind you can send my way.

nauticalstar420 · Jul 6, 2007, 11:07 AM

I think 3 months is a fine amount of time between weddings. Now the other cousin getting married after only 2 weeks of her, that's a little amount of time. Are you sure they aren't mad at you because you're getting married first? Just a thought. Maybe they're afraid that you're "stealing her thunder". And they might not be mad at the other cousin because her wedding is happening after. Either way, I think you're perfectly fine, and if they don't like your wedding and want to talk bad about you and be mad at you, all I can say is they don't have to show up to your wedding :)

s_cianci · Jul 15, 2007, 06:07 PM

The wedding gets scheduled at the convenience of the couple. If relatives have a problem with that, then it's their problem, not yours.

lacuran8626 · Jul 16, 2007, 12:21 PM

The upset may be about stealing the attention from the other couple(s) and it might be a concern about the same guests/wedding party members having too many wedding related expenses at the same time. However, when you have a lot of friends and family it can be hard to ever get married if you have to always be after everyone else. If you can, schedule your wedding after others in your family and among your closest friends that have already been scheduled. Do not copy any of their ideas (color scheme, invitation wording, flower choice, reception hall choice) and if possible have your wedding in a different season. Do I think you owe it to people to go to so much trouble to avoid hurting their feelings? No. I just think your wedding will be a lot more fun if you take a wide path around any potential for upset because people get really goofy and nutty about weddings - just avoid it as best you can, and of course, make a huge fuss over the other weddings and ask more about them than you say about your own when with the potentially offended people. Dumb, but it will go a long way with the family.

shygrneyzs · Jul 16, 2007, 12:30 PM

I agree with the others - you go ahead with your wedding plans and enjoy this time. If relatives cannot get over their small attitude, well, too bad for them. What a shame, to miss out on sharing the joy of your upcoming marriage.

One Summer my family had four weddings between both sides. The first one in May with my oldest cousin, the last was mine in October. It was just how it worked out. People were invited and if they did not come, that was on their shoulders, not anyone else's.

Having your wedding three months before the next familly wedding, is not improper at all. Hope you have the best of time and congratulations.

HappySeedling · Jul 16, 2007, 12:36 PM

I definitely think it's because they think you're going to steal the other couple's thunder.

Emland · Jul 16, 2007, 12:50 PM

Planning a wedding for 2 years? Did Charles and Diana take that long to plan? Sounds like your cousin has been working up for her "Queen for the Day" gig for a long time and feels like you are taking something away.

Plan your wedding and enjoy your day with your husband. If your family is going to get jerk-y over it there isn't much you can do unless you want to live your life to please them.