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Adough · Jul 10, 2007, 08:38 AM

We broke up a week ago. Things weren't going very well but, still at least we loved each other. On the 4th of July we had another fight and I took it to far. I cut myself and freaked out major. He broke up w/ me the next day and I can't help to want him back. He says that he can't take it anymore, the mood swings and all. I've been through a lot in my past and I haven't forgiven myself for anything that I have done. Now I am facing being alone and I don't want to. For some reason I want to know that things will be okay. It doesn't "feel" over like past breakups. We still sleep in the same bed and we still have sex. Do you think that this will work out? I've sought help and just in few days I feel so much better. I now that this is a process, but will we except me back? He's was my whole life for nearly a year and a half. I moved out here to be w/ him. I'm really far away from home and I'm determined to make this work... am I wrong

Wondergirl · Jul 10, 2007, 08:53 AM

Make an appointment with a good therapist and begin to get yourself together without mood swings and cutting and whatever else is messing up your life and your relationship(s). You will probably need some kind of med(s) in order to calm down all the synapses that are firing off wildly in your brain. Like high blood pressure, this is probably primarily a chemical problem that can be first treated medically and then with lifestyle changes and improvements. The counselor will then help you dig into your survival patterns to figure out of any of them are learned behaviors (that can be unlearned).

You have an exciting adventure ahead of you!

If your boyfriend knows you are hard at work getting your act together, I hope he will cheerlead you as you do this hard work, and will gradually accept you back into his life as he learns to trust you again.

If you need support and encouragement and advice, we are here to help!

nauticalstar420 · Jul 10, 2007, 11:33 AM

First of all, if he broke up with you I don't think he should keep having sex with you, its not fair to you and every time it happens you have to start the whole breakup process over again, with the sadness and hurting.

I can't exactly tell you that things will be OK, because you never know what will happen. If he is still around you all the time, and still sleeps in the same bed as you, it is a good sign that he doesn't just want to let go.

One of the worst things you can do is freak out and cut yourself. Aside from the fact that it is highly unhealthy for you, it will also scare him away. When you have a fight, try to keep a clear head and keep things rational.

Let him know that you have gotten help, and you are trying to make yourself better so you two can work out. If he sees that you really are trying, the chances of him staying around are much more likely :)