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confused11 · Jul 3, 2007, 09:05 PM

So I've known this guy for about six weeks. I thought he was cute but thought he was out of my league, so I didn't really think anything of it. Then one of my really good guy friends told me that he thinks this guy likes me, when I asked him why he thinks that he said it was because he seems to always be around and he siad that he caught that guy looking at me when I wasn't looking. So I started noticing him more and talking to him. But the first couple of weeks he seemed really shy, he was always around me but would hardly ever talk unless I started talking to him first. Well the last few weeks he's gotten a lot more comfortable around me I guess, because now he is ALWAYS finding things to talk to me about and always teasing me about everything. We exchanged myspaces and he messaged me on there a couple of times to see how I was and stuff like that. And now he always teases me about my myspace. I have a bunch of pics of some actors that I think are hot and stuff like that and he is like why the heck would you like this guy or that guy and he is always making fun of the guys that I like... and just always teasing me about different things and always smiling and waving hi to me and stuff like that... so finally I after a bunch of my friends told me that he definitely likes me, I asked him if he wanted to catch a movie sometime, well he said he would let me know but I haven't heard from him in a while... he seems really shy and I can tell he has pretty low self confidence so could that have something to do with him not wanting to hang out or does he just not like me and I'm reading everything wrong? Thanks for any advice!

talaniman · Jul 3, 2007, 09:22 PM

I think he likes you, but is unsure of himself. I think he may be afraid of how to act on a real date. I doubt he has been with a lot of females. Hope your patient.

confused11 · Jul 3, 2007, 09:28 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

I think he likes you, but is unsure of himself. I think he may be afraid of how to act on a real date. I doubt he has been with a lot of females. Hope your patient.

I just think I might feel weird around him next time I see him. I haven't seen him since I've asked to hang out so I don't really know how to act. I've never actually had the guts to ask a guy out, but I really thought he liked me and my really good guy friend told me he thought that he did, so I guess that gave me the confidence to do it. But now I just don't want things to be weird.

Dennis777 · Jul 3, 2007, 09:44 PM

Hello.

Why don't you get a few friends that know him to have a party or go someplace where your both invited. That way he can be with you and its not a date. If he is shy this will help break the ice.

Good Luck
Dennis777

confused11 · Jul 3, 2007, 09:56 PM

Originally Posted by Dennis777

Hello.

Why don't you get a few friends that know him to have a party or go someplace where your both invited. That way he can be with you and its not a date. if he is shy this will help break the ice.

Good Luck
Dennis777

That's true, I should have done that in the first place. I just don't know if I'm going to have the courage to ask him again... but if he is shy and I asked him to hang out, why would he still be shy?
Also a while ago he introduced me to his friend and he was all like this is the one I was telling you about etc... so I really thought all the signs where there that he liked me, so I really don't know, if I'm just really bad at reading guys, bad instincts or if there is more to it... I don't know. I just know I'm going to feel weird next time I see him.

huno · Jul 3, 2007, 10:46 PM

This guy is probably just very shy... I could understand. I used to be that shy, it was a very extreme kind of shyness.

Like talaniman said, have patience. He'll come around. If I were you, I'd casually ask again... make it light and casual, such as:

"Hey, so when are we going to see that movie?"

"I heard confused11 still wants to see that movie with you; are you going to go?"

"Look, moron, you go to the movies with me and you're pretty much guaranteed second base; so either get in my car or come out of the closet!"

confused11 · Jul 3, 2007, 10:50 PM

Originally Posted by huno

This guy is probably just very shy... I could understand. I used to be that shy, it was a very extreme kind of shyness.

Like talaniman said, have patience. He'll come around. If I were you, I'd casually ask again... make it light and casual, such as:

"Hey, so when are we going to see that movie?"

"I heard confused11 still wants to see that movie with you; are you going to go?"

"Look, moron, you go to the movies with me and you're pretty much guaranteed second base; so either get in my car or come out of the closet!"

Haha:D yeah I mean he HAS to know that I like him, and I knew that he is shy and that if I didn't ask him, he probably never would, but now I wish I hadn't asked him. Maybe he just needed more time I don't know... but from what I've told you guys, do you guys think he does like me, or am I really just misreading things? Because like how shy can you be, I mean all he had to do was pretty much get back to me and let me know when he wanted to hang out since he already knew I wanted too... but if you guys think the signs are there that he does then I will be patient and give him more time, but if he doesn't and is trying to give me hints, then I don't want to waste my time... thank you so much for the help.

huno · Jul 3, 2007, 10:55 PM

Originally Posted by confused11

haha:D yeah I mean he HAS to know that I like him, and I knew that he is shy and that if I didn't ask him, he probably never would, but now I wish I hadn't asked him.

NO! Bad confused11! Bad!

Argh... I thought I was getting through to you women--it's OKAY to ask a guy out! Especially if he's shy. I not only advise it, I encourage it at every opportunity. If I had one dying wish, it's that girls would take the initiative and just ask guys out.

Not that it would do me any good, since I'd be dying... but...

maybe he just needed more time I don't know

Guys don't need "more time," that's a girl thing. Next.

... but from what I've told you guys, do you guys think he does like me, or am I really just misreading things? Because like how shy can you be, I mean all he had to do was pretty much get back to me and let me know when he wanted to hang out since he already knew I wanted too...

Well, admittedly, it's weird that he wouldn't just accept your offer and be done with it. Maybe he's scared of embarrassing himself around you. He might be socially awkward and inconfident about his mannerisms, so much so that the thought of a one-on-one date with you probably puts him on edge.

Again, I think you should gently remind him that you're waiting on him for a trip to the theater. Take him to see "Knocked Up," it'll remind him that even losers can score with hot girls.

confused11 · Jul 3, 2007, 11:02 PM

Well, admittedly, it's weird that he wouldn't just accept your offer and be done with it. Maybe he's scared of embarrassing himself around you. He might be socially awkward and inconfident about his mannerisms, so much so that the thought of a one-on-one date with you probably puts him on edge.

Again, I think you should gently remind him that you're waiting on him for a trip to the theater. Take him to see "Knocked Up," it'll remind him that even losers can score with hot girls.

Yeah I kind of thought that the fact that he didn't say one way or the other was kind of weird too. He kind of just mumbled something like I'm going to be busy for a while but ill let you know... but I know for a fact that he had a day off today and didn't get in contact with me, well maybe he had other plans. I don't know, but I'm thinking if he was really into me, he would have jumped on my invitation right? He would have made firm plans? I know he does have really low self confidence because the few times we've talked he always talked himself down, he said things like yeah I'm a terrible athlete, and I never think anything good is going to happen to me and all stuff like that... I don't know if low self confidence would play any part in this because he already must know I like him... so confusing.

huno · Jul 3, 2007, 11:08 PM

He might also think you're out of his league. Stop dressing so hot. Maybe wear your mom's clothes. Wear a paper bag over your head and shave off all your hair. Instead of wearing perfume, slather yourself in barbecue sauce.

Now, I'm off to watch Futurama. Good luck!

--Bender

P.S.: "Your best is an idiot!"

confused11 · Jul 3, 2007, 11:11 PM

Originally Posted by huno

He might also think you're out of his league. Stop dressing so hot. Maybe wear your mom's clothes. Wear a paper bag over your head and shave off all your hair. Instead of wearing perfume, slather yourself in barbecue sauce.

Now, I'm off to watch Futurama. Good luck!

--Bender

P.S.: "Your best is an idiot!"

Aww thanks for you advice. You're great:) . Well I don't know, all my friends seem to think that I'm out of his league, but I think he is out of mine... oh well... funny thing is that I'm being pursued by seriously 3 other guys right now, and I'm not interested in them at all because I really like this guy... its funny how you always want what you can't have... :(

talaniman · Jul 4, 2007, 06:36 AM

I think you could have him, but he is not your typical fun loving guy. He has no experience and doesn't know what to do. Take the bull by the horns and talk straight to him, and let him know you expect him to express his feelings to you, in a clear way, so you can stop being confused. I think you expect him to take the lead in this, and he doesn't have the tools to do so.

confused11 · Jul 4, 2007, 10:07 AM

So what about that whole thing that if he doesn't call or contact you then he is just not that into you? And I mean I made the first move in asking him, so he really has nothing to be afraid of as far as rejection or whatever... so that's why I don't really know what to do, its like yeah I like him but I don't really want to keep on asking him and embarrace myself and probably him too... ahhhhh why do things have to be so complicated?

huno · Jul 4, 2007, 11:01 AM

Originally Posted by confused11

aww thanks for you advice. you're great:) . well i dont know, all my friends seem to think that im out of his league, but i think he is out of mine... oh well...funny thing is that im being pursued by seriously 3 other guys right now, and im not interested in them at all because i really like this guy...its funny how you always want what you can't have...:(

No problem, I'm like Splenda: I'm a decent substitute for the real thing but with none of the guilt. Also I cause stomach cramps.

3 guys? Damn, girl! Look, you're clearly the hot one between the two of you, I think you should give your boy there a helping hand. Let him know you're really interested. Next time you see him, don't say "hi" or ask how he's doing: push him to the ground and jump on him.

And YES, it always ends up that way. I think it's the way we're wired: things we can have easily are just not attractive. Otherwise diamonds wouldn't be valuable, right?

Originally Posted by confused11

so what about that whole thing that if he doesnt call or contact you then he is just not that into you? and i mean i made the first move in asking him, so he really has nothing to be afraid of as far as rejection or whatever...so thats why i dont really know what to do, its like yeah i like him but i dont really want to keep on asking him and embarrace myself and probably him too...ahhhhh why do things have to be so complicated?

Well, I still think he might be excessively shy... but I still see no reason why you shouldn't ask once more. Be casual about it, don't make it such a big deal. Let him know that you are really interested and I think he'll come around. If after a second offer he doesn't do anything then you might move on to one of the 3 guys that want you.

If he sees you with one of them, he'll probably be affected by the "want what you can't have" phenomenon and then the ball will be rolling again.

confused11 · Jul 4, 2007, 12:51 PM

3 guys? Damn, girl! Look, you're clearly the hot one between the two of you, I think you should give your boy there a helping hand. Let him know you're really interested. Next time you see him, don't say "hi" or ask how he's doing: push him to the ground and jump on him.

Haha. I wish I could just jump on him, that be nice.;) I don't know about me being the hot one, I think I'm just nice so guys aren't afraid to approach me, well some of them obviously still are... but yeah a bunch of my friends that saw him think that he is just OK and that I can do better, but to me he is like the hottest guy ever. :)

Well, I still think he might be excessively shy... but I still see no reason why you shouldn't ask once more. Be casual about it, don't make it such a big deal. Let him know that you are really interested and I think he'll come around. If after a second offer he doesn't do anything then you might move on to one of the 3 guys that want you.

Yeah I think I'll just continue to act live I have been and if he continues to flirt then maybe I'll casually mention something, but if he acts weird the next time I see him then I know that he is pretty much not into it.

If he sees you with one of them, he'll probably be affected by the "want what you can't have" phenomenon and then the ball will be rolling again.

Haha yeah, I don't know, I've never really liked to play games, but maybe you're right.

confused11 · Jul 5, 2007, 10:23 AM

Any other advice on this? Thanks in advance.

talaniman · Jul 5, 2007, 02:15 PM

Originally Posted by confused11

any other advice on this? thanks in advance.

Knowing what we've told you so far, has it made a difference??

confused11 · Jul 6, 2007, 03:03 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Knowing what we've told you so far, has it made a difference???

Yeah, well I mean I just have to wait and see how he acts the next time I see him, which will probably be this weekend sometime. If he acts different and avoids me then I guess he is not interested. If he acts the same and keeps on flirting then I'll go from there. I just don't want to seem like I'm too forward or something.

talaniman · Jul 6, 2007, 03:44 AM

Very wise, take it slow. Good luck.

huno · Jul 6, 2007, 10:15 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Very wise, take it slow. Good luck.

Ooooh, no, I have to disagree with you (your sig says I should tell you, so don't yell at me afterwards).

Guys aren't meant to take things slow: we drive fast, play hard, eat big and fart loud. 0-60 in 5 seconds? Try 0-2394875 in yesterday.

Originally Posted by confused11

I just dont want to seem like I'm too forward or something.

No, too forward would sound something like this:

"Hey, which do you like better? The left one or the right one? Put your hand on 'em and tell me what you think. And take your time. While you're at it, can you tell me if they're perky or bouncy?"