[happysad]

Hi,
I don't know where else to turn...

Ive been going out with a fantastic bloke who is 26 years older than me. I'm 24. We started by total accident, he was in the process of leaving his family home, after 25 years of marriage.

We realised about a month after that first night that we actually really cared about each other. My dad knows him well. He seems cool about it and chats away to him as normal when they meet. My sister thinks he is a sick pervert who can't be trusted because he's with such a much younger girl, and reckons he is just a dirty old bastard. My mother, now this is the really hard one. She hates him wit a passion. She freaked last night when she saw us together. She has told me that if I want to see him I can get the out of her house. When we have family meals my sisters (Socially acceptable) boyfriend is invited and mine isn't. And when I say if he's not invited then I'm not going, she throws a fit in the manner of elton john. I'm so sick of it.

On the other hand, his ex and myself get on great, I go out with his kids, and I help looking after his elderly mother. I cannot understand how his family can accept me, and mine just act so hurtful towards him.

Please can someone help me, I don't want to lose anyone I care about, but I don't know what else I can do but make a break from him or my family...

[huno]

So I'm sort of surprised your dad is the one who's okay with it, but your mom isn't. Isn't that sort of bass-ackwards?

Anyway, never having been in such a situation, I could only say that it will probably come down to a decision between your lover and your family. It seems your mom is dead-set on hating this guy, and there will likely always be tension in the air whenever her and your man are in the same room.

Now, you could try justifying your relationship to your mother--explain to her that you really care about him, that he treats you well, etc.--and maybe she'll come around. It depends on how your mom tends to be... though if she's throwing hissy fits I doubt she's the logical, reasonable type.

You are ultimately going to have to choose. Good luck!

[Dennis777]

Hello.

Dad's Love their little Girls and I'm sure he knows if he jumps up and down about it you will pull away from him also and he will do anything not to have that happen. Trust me he doesn't like the idea.

You haven't said how long you have been together so I'm going to assume its been a short time. He left his home and got together with you inside a month or less. That's a very short time for him to adjust to being single and away from his home. Most of the time when a person jumps from one relationship to the other it never works because they don't have time to find who they are and what they want from life.

His Ex likes you, Hummmmmmmm lets see you take care of the kids and his Mother so she doesn't have to do it. If your around she has more free time. Let me guess, some if not most of their problems where him wanting his ex to take care of the mother and she wanted time for herself. She was feeling trapped and didn't know what to do so the problems started.

Lets talk about your MOm... You know she loves you and with your dad being laid back I'm going to assume she is the one in the family that does most of the yelling hehee.

If this relationship lasts and he treats you like the special lady you are then your Mom will come around in time. Her Love for you will over come her dislike for him. That's if he treats you right.

Most of the time when a older Man gets with a younger Lady its for control. Could be sexual control or its full out control. Time will tell but watch out. A controlling person is smart, it's a little at a time. Face it if he was controlling from the start he would never find a Lady to be with. Don't think that because he was controlling to his ex that you can change him, never happen. Being controlling is harder to break then a cheater.

I know I gave you a lot of negative but let it open your eyes please. If I'm wrong and he is really Mr. Right then fantastic but as I said before he will be Mr. Right at first.

Good Luck
Dennis777

[happysad]

Hey denis777, I should have prob made myself clearer!

I've known him for about 4 years, when I was living next door to him and his wife. I have gotten on with her from the start! Then she told me about 2 years ago that her marriage was over, and he was only trying to find a place to live etc etc. so the marriage was over about a year when we got together in all relity, and we are together 14 months now. Does this change anything?

As for looking after his mom, its only doing her shopping once a week really and that kind of thing. He does do a lot for her too, he doesn't just leave it up to me! His kids isn't kids really, they are 19 and 20, and the daughter has a child herself.

He treats me like a queen, and last week presented me with a brand new BMW, he lavishes gifts and attention on me, but even more important than that, he is always there for me. There is never a day where he won't ring me and see how my day is going. He is the worlds most considerate caring and loving man.

How do I make my mom see this?

[talaniman]

how do I make my mom see this?

You don't and only mom can know if she will ever accept this old sugar daddy, being with her daughter.
Your grown, and you have to live your own life, and make your own mistakes. I only wish you luck.