[US25646]

I have this guy that I used to deal with, a lot of things happened, we both made our mistakes, we later took a break from each other but were still envolved on a sexual level. I ended up getting pregnant by someone else. I moved to another state, we still remaind friends. I recenly went back home and seen him and we both were so happy to see each other. I miss him so much and want us to get back together, I accually want him to move here into town and be with me, I don't see why not because he's not really doing too much eith himself over there, the environment is bad. I told him all this and told him the last thing that I want is to receive a phone call stating that he was murder. I don't know what I would do with myself. He said no, I know that deeply he cares for me and probably wants it too, I just don't want to push him. What should I do, I am about to go crazy over here constantly thinking about him. How can I get him to relize that I would be so good for him. And we would be so good for each other and he would have such a better life here with me. Basically, how can I get him back. He said he's not mad with me for getting pregnant but I think it's more of a trusting issue because he kept asking me who have I been dealing with since I have been gone. I told him no one but he doesn't believe me. What should I do?

[talaniman]

He has told you NO, so drop it. He obviously has his own life and plans that he prefers over what you offer.

[Pook_Myster]

Rejection... ouch.

You can't make someone do something they don't want to do - and I don't think you should try, because if you influence his decisions to the point where he says 'Alright I'll come'... it will only be a matter of time before he realises that he made the decision basically to stop you pestering him about it, and not actually because he wanted it too.

We all need to realise that we are only in charge of our own lives - other peoples are theirs to live however they choose, and it is a truly special relationship that comes together mutually, and only these relationships will last.

[Dennis777]

Hello.

If you want him back or at least a chance of it, you have to take it slow and get to know each other again. Any time people are apart they grow so you need to find out what way you want your life to go and if he is going your direction.

The worst thing you can do is push him or try to talk him into a relationship.

[anirbaz23]

Though you say that you are not over him. You are pregnant with someone else's child, which he may interpret as a sign of you letting go. So by him, remaining to reside in his current location is a sign of him letting go. Remember that men cling on to their pride, as if their lives depend on it. He does not want to end up being "played" by you. If you really care for him, I suggest that you stop being involved with him sexually. He may feel that, sex is all you care about, oppose to actually caring about him.

[US25646]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too, I have decided to give him his space and concentrate on myself and what I am trying to do with my life, what I moved here to do. When or if he misses me he knows how to get in touch with me (at least I think he do). I do love him a lot but I can't force him to do anything. If he doesn't call me in about 6 months I will probably call him and check on him. But otherwise I have decided to give his space. Thank you so much for your responses. Except the first person, that was just so mean.