[ques_logic]

My boyfriend of 10 years (we met in college)broke up with me 1.5month ago. I am about to complete my professional training program and we were set to move to a different state for a new job (for me and potential opportunity for him, since he has not had much success in the job/career department), when he told me he was not happy and he just walked out (yes, we lived together). For the first couple of weeks I was in shock and made several attempts to contact him and plead/beg for him to give us a second chance, but he would just tell me "I need time...if it is meant to be it will work itself out.." The thing is that he would periodically call/text message/email "goodnight...i miss you...are you ok?" When I eventually asked for a clean break and no more contact, he called that same day. Recently, I learned more about him, it turns out that while I was focused on my profession and slacked in the intimacy department (he worked from home) he was unfaithful 1.5 years ago.

Now he tells me that he knows what decision he would make without thinking, but it is just the feelings that he needs to work out. His biggest concern is being in a sexless relationship and wants to make sure about us. He tells me he is honored to love me, but needs time and space. Also, I told him I forgive him about the lies and indiscretion (I am sincere because I have unconditional love for him), but he questions my intentions. I have been seeing a counselor about my issues regarding the sexless relationship and having breakthroughs with that. Another thing is that he refuses to see a counselor or talk to anyone about his issues/feelings.

I guess, do I wait for him for a certain period or just move on and eventually find someone that will provide unconditional love and forgiveness to me? Right now, it is just hard because I thought he was the one/soulmate.

[emopunk7]

First of all he cheated on you and now he walked out on you after such a long time of being together... This should be easy... Forget about him and move on. But I know how you are feeling. I feel the same way... Even if my ex had cheated on me, I would've still taken her back. I can't stand ex's. If he wants out, then all you can do is let him go. This is the hardest thing to ever do. I'm sorry that you are going through this. 10 years is a long time, but if he doesn't love you the way you love him then there is not much you can do...

Have you two spoken about the sex and communicated why it's not happening and how to fix the problem?

[talaniman]

Work on yourself and stay out of relationships for now as you've got a lot of issues going, the least of which is a cheating confused immature boyfriend, whom you are happy making excuses for. Do move and get your life together after your training, and know that you can do so much better without all that dead weight dragging you down.