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jfreer76 · Jun 26, 2007, 08:43 PM

I recently have been told by my girlfriend of 3+ years that she needs her time and space to "figure things out". Obviously this hit me like a ton of bricks and I resorted to the typical tactics that most guys resort to, grovel, tell her this is a bad idea, call, email, text her, send flowers. The whole 9 nine yards, you name it I did it. I am finding out now through reading different articles that this was probably not a good idea, but my emotions got the best of me as I am in love with her. Today, she told me that she would like me to stop all communication with her as it going to push her farther away from me. Pushing her away is obviously something that I do not want to have happen. I am really confused though and need some help cause I am driving myself crazy. At one point she tells me she needs some time and space and right now this is for the best, then when I ask her if she still has feelings for me, she cannot tell me no. When I ask her if this is over for good. She cannot tell me yes. My question is how much time and space is enough? When do I contact her? 1 month? 2 months? 3 months? Do I wait for her to contact me? I know that what I have done thus far (groveling) has been counter productive but the bottom line is that I really love her and want her back.

I have identified the reasons as to why our relationship has come to this, and want to fix and I am changing, but is it too late when a woman tells you she needs her time and space? Is that the death sentence? I just want my best friend back. Please help.

talaniman · Jun 26, 2007, 09:21 PM

First read the posts of others here, who have gone through the same thing, and yes, accept she has dumped you, for your own sanity, and try to move on. Any contact you have now will only confuse you and make you mad so, definitely get a life you enjoy without her in it. Seek your own happiness, and let go of the past. I know your still in love with her, but her feelings have changed, and as you get over the initial shock, you will have many questions, which we can answer, but for now its hard, and we all have been through it. This is your first real relationship, right?

jfreer76 · Jun 27, 2007, 12:30 AM

No this is not my first real relationship. I have had many relationships and can cope with the door being slammed. She said she needed time to figure things out and she is confused about a lot that is going on in her life and wants her space right now.

Bluerose · Jun 27, 2007, 12:43 AM

"When do i contact her?"

100 days no contact then one phone call asking her to meet you for a coffee. If the answer is no then let it go.

talaniman · Jun 27, 2007, 04:21 AM

Glad this hadn't made you a wreck, as we all to often see. Give her what she asks for, and when she has had her space she will let you know. Until then go on with the life you enjoy without her.