[RichieRich]

I pay child support via a pay allotment to the mother of my daughter (it goes straight to her bank account and the military documents this as dependent support).

However she contantly is calling my command and setting a tone that I don't and never have paid her support. I have 4 kids (my daugther included) and 35% of my pay goes to support... this is voluntary and done through the military pay system and labeled dependent support. The percent is based on miliatry law and the state of Texas child support guidelines.

She is now threatening to take me to court... do I have any legs to stand on? I always increase the allotment when we get pay raises... it is frustrating and I fear that it may have a negative impact on my career.

I also have our child enrolled in my medical and dental plans for the military... any advice?

[LadyB]

Since the payments are automatically deposited to her account by the military, and you are following all legal guidelines, I fail to see on what basis she is suing you. Obviously you should have detailed proof of payment and she can't show non-payment. I also don't see how it can hurt your career seeing as how payment has been made.

Have you perhaps left out important details here?

[RichieRich]

LadyB,

The negative impact fear comes into play because every time I am called in the JAG office... I am already the bad guy! Plus we have not talked for years due in part because we are like oil and water we can't converse... which hurts our little girl. So, I have to explain this situation also.

She basically wants me to pay what her son's father pays (That is his only child!) without considering my support for my kids with my ex.

[LadyB]

What she wants is irrelevant, however. You should have a child support order based on the formula of the state of Texas or the military, whichever has jurisdiction in your case. You only have to pay what you are ordered to pay. Also, you should have access to your daughter for court ordered visitations. You can arrange pick up/drop off that eliminates your need to see your ex. Again these things are usually in whatever court order you have regarding custody, child support, and visitation. If you don't have these arrangements, get them.

Can you talk to someone in your command or whatever legal department you have access to in the military about her harassment and defamation, so it's in your file anytime she calls? I am unsure what, if anything, being in the military changes in this situation, however her calls should be easily discounted since the payments are automatically deducted.

You might even be able to sue her for defamation and/or get an order of protection, but I would seek legal counsel.

[excon]

Hello Richie:

You've got your set of numbers (I read 'em), and she's got hers. She IS entitled to go to court to have a judge review them. I don't know who would win.

Look at your service record. If there are negative notations in there from JAG, then I would write a letter to JAG and to your service record, that explains your situation. Domestic issues such as these ought not affect your career, though. Indeed, MOST married people get divorced and have issues afterwards. If that affected their military careers, we'd all be speaking Arabic right now.

excon

[Fr_Chuck]

Actually you could well be in deep.

It sounds like you have never been to court, you have never gotten custody agreements set up and you don't have officially court ordered child support.

*** and it also sounds like you are merely having money sent as support for the family, not child support held out officially showing it is child support.

So what YOU need to have happen is the court assign the child support based on your pay, and have it held out of your pay officailly as child support. She can take you back to court and claim you have only given her support, an alotment from your pay, and this is not child support, or not the right amount and so on.

Since you have not appeared to have done anything properly or legally, you have gotten yourself into this, Time for an attorney, time for possible DNA test to be sure, and time to get this done as official child support

[RichieRich]

Fr_Chuck,

The allotments that is setup is officially labeled as Child Support in the Military System. The Military Has Regulations and Laws (Uniformed Miliatry Code of Justice) that ensures the servicemember is taking care of his responsibility. This is imposed when a court order is absent for Alimony, Child Support Etc. There are provisions that protect the servicemember when if he eventually has to go to court.

Lady B,

You are right I did leave one thing out! She has another child with another servicemember and she was discharged from the service for medical reasons. I believe she gets 80% disability which amounts to at least $1400 from the VA tax free not including what assistance she may be entitled to from the state. She does not get any compensation from the Navy because they feel she is in dereliction on her duties... she is going to court for that.

Now, her entitlements is her benefit and does not mean that I do not have to do my part... I do... however when is she going to held accountable for re-training herself and being more marketable to better her life... like me and her son's father have done. The VA pays for your college... it is free!! She sits there and monitors the military pay increases so she can call the command to say we are not paying!! Her lawyer even monitored my purchases during 2005... saying I brought a Ford Expedition... incredible...

Fr_Chuck and Lady B are right that I need to get the State to set the guideline and this may prevent her from harassing me at my command!

Any How thanks for all the good advice! Oh! And thanks for your support to me and all my Sailors fighting this war

United States Navy Chief