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Chelle0578 · Jun 16, 2007, 09:46 PM

I'm posting the following for my husband:

What is the name of your state? Illinois

I'm dealing with some issues with my ex. We are due in court on the 11th of July, she has filed for an increase in child support and she wants me to pay full medical insurance and 100% of medical bills that insurance does not cover (actually she filed about a month ago, and never showed up for court... so the state has jumped in and filed for the child support increase and medical). After spending the day with family and discussing all of the issues... we have decided to file for custody due to a change in circumstance.

I'm going to list what I have and please let me know what you think:

1. She lives with and is married to a felon. His charges range from DUI's, Drugs, assault towards a police office with a weapon, and I believe there are some battery charges as well.

2. In the 4 years we have been divorced she has had 2 jobs and worked a total of 6-7 months. Last job, her husband took off with her car in a rage and she was fired.

3. She lives in a trailer with no running water (it's been this way for about a year). The only baths my child gets is here every other weekend.

4. Up until the last month they were all staying in another trailer with a friend (a total of 11people in a 2 bdr trailer) because their electricity was shut off and they didn't have the $$ to pay the bill. My daughter was sharing a couch with another child, even on school nights when she needed adequate rest.

5. In the past she has been held in contempt for visitation interference, we were issued make up visitations etc. She does not support a healthy relationship between my daughter and I. In the past I've went months without seeing her due to this.

6. She is pregnant with her 3rd child, which she can not afford.

7. She had my daughter on Ridalin because she doesn't like to "deal with her". Dr's. In her town feel my daughter doesn't need the med and she had to travel an hour to find a Dr. that will give it to her. She no longer makes the travel because she can't afford it.

8. DCFS has been involved numerous times. I've called twice, the school once, and an unknown source another time. I called because her husband beat her with an extension cord and threw a microwave at her (mother). And called another time because her husband threw a tire iron through the windshiled of the car when she was trying to leave with children. My daughter was cut with the glass. DCFS removed her for 8 hrs and placed her with maternal grandmother who threatened to spank her for telling. School called because of burn on her back, my daughter stated her step-dad pushed her into the kitchen stove that they were using for heat, weeks later daughter changed story saying it was a "rug burn". She's 7... that was cohersed.

9. She says she wants to live here because step dad is mean.

Other issues, I've got to think and will post later. Please reply.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 17, 2007, 07:24 AM

If you have evidence of this, that is in a form acceptable by the court, you should win. But you will need to prove all of it, not just know it.

pgreenplus · Jun 17, 2007, 10:44 AM

Originally Posted by Chelle0578

I'm posting the following for my husband:

What is the name of your state? Illinois

I'm dealing with some issues with my ex. We are due in court on the 11th of July, she has filed for an increase in child support and she wants me to pay full medical insurance and 100% of medical bills that insurance does not cover (actually she filed about a month ago, and never showed up for court ...so the state has jumped in and filed for the child support increase and medical). After spending the day with family and discussing all of the issues...we have decided to file for custody due to a change in circumstance.

I'm going to list what I have and please let me know what you think:

1. She lives with and is married to a felon. His charges range from DUI's, Drugs, assault towards a police office with a weapon, and I believe there are some battery charges as well.

2. In the 4 years we have been divorced she has had 2 jobs and worked a total of 6-7 months. Last job, her husband took off with her car in a rage and she was fired.

3. She lives in a trailer with no running water (it's been this way for about a year). The only baths my child gets is here every other weekend.

4. Up until the last month they were all staying in another trailer with a friend (a total of 11people in a 2 bdr trailer) b/c their electricity was shut off and they didnt have the $$ to pay the bill. My daughter was sharing a couch with another child, even on school nights when she needed adequate rest.

5. In the past she has been held in contempt for visitation interference, we were issued make up visitations etc. She does not support a healthy relationship between my daughter and I. In the past I've went months without seeing her due to this.

6. She is pregnant with her 3rd child, which she can not afford.

7. She had my daughter on Ridalin b/c she doesnt like to "deal with her". Dr's. in her town feel my daughter doesnt need the med and she had to travel an hour to find a Dr. that will give it to her. She no longer makes the travel b/c she can't afford it.

8. DCFS has been involved numerous times. I've called twice, the school once, and an unknown source another time. I called b/c her husband beat her with an extension cord and threw a microwave at her (mother). And called another time b/c her husband threw a tire iron through the windshiled of the car when she was trying to leave with children. My daughter was cut with the glass. DCFS removed her for 8 hrs and placed her with maternal grandmother who threatened to spank her for telling. School called b/c of burn on her back, my daughter stated her step-dad pushed her into the kitchen stove that they were using for heat, weeks later daughter changed story saying it was a "rug burn". She's 7...that was cohersed.

9. She says she wants to live here b/c step dad is mean.

Other issues, I've got to think and will post later. Please reply.

You definitely don't need other issues... all you have to prove is the change in circumstance: at your home your daugter will have running water and all other essential utilities... Don't try to go after the ex for the "mistakes" she's made but the true to life threats to the child, no utilities, felon in home, dhs involvement. Instead, focus on what you will be able to provide..

Chelle0578 · Jun 17, 2007, 01:13 PM

Fr_Chuck
I can prove the felonies, all police records, and DHS records. How do I go about provig there is no water in the home... they live in the county and have well water, and the well does not work. My daughter and her aunt (maternal) have both told us this... aunt probably won't testify against her sister, but my 7 y/o comes here filthy and unbathed every other week and tells me the last time that she had a bath was when she was here 2 weeks prior at my visitation.

Chelle0578 · Jun 18, 2007, 07:57 PM

Anyone else out there have any input?

LadyB · Jun 18, 2007, 08:54 PM

Why not just file? You certainly have enough to make a case and see what happens. Get a lawyer and get crackin writing up your own suit.

Chelle0578 · Jun 19, 2007, 09:45 AM

Originally Posted by LadyB

Why not just file? You certainly have enough to make a case and see what happens. Get a lawyer and get crackin writing up your own suit.

Have you ever filed for custody? It's VERY expensive! I was simply asking if anyone else had been in a similar situation. $10K isn't something that I have laying around to toss to the wind:)... which is exactly what I will be doing if I lose.

LadyB · Jun 19, 2007, 10:23 AM

Sorry, didn't mean to sound so nonchalant. I just figured you would end up paying around that much if she wins the increased child support/medical expenses. I don't think it will be cheap for you whichever way you go. Some attorneys offer payment plans, worth a shot anyway?

I do think you have a good case, though, from the sounds of it, simply because you can provide a better living environment.

s2tp · Jun 19, 2007, 10:54 AM

I am no expert by any means, but the advice above sounds good. From what you have said, I would think that is more than enough to win custody. I would also want to point out all of the benefits for the child by moving in with you- family security, physical and mental health etc. I would counter each of the arguments against her with the positive side the father can provide. I wouldn't want to just down talk the mothers side without giving he good sides of the father to ensure the court understands that you can provide all of the things the child is lacking.

Best of wishes, and I really hope this girl gets a better home!

ScottGem · Jun 19, 2007, 11:06 AM

Next time you pick up your daughter and she is filthy, take pictures. Have an impartial person witness it (if you can get someone from DCS that would be best). Talk to her teachers, if she is coming to school dirty and unkempt her teachers should know it (and they should have reported it). That issue alone, should be enough to show the child isn't being properly cared for.

You have documentation of the step-dad's record. You should have documentation of visitation denials. You have your daughter's deisre and testimony. So if you can document the hygiene issue I think you stand a good chance of gaining custody.

Chelle0578 · Jun 19, 2007, 12:18 PM

Thank you so much for all the replies. I consulted an attorney today and we will meet with him later this week, he seemed shocked with all the information that we have against her and acted as if we had a good chance (but he is an attorney... lol). I'm also going to set up a consultation with another attorney for a 2nd opinion... so we'll go from there. We will definitely keep you all posted... thanks so much!