[allieissues]

How do I get my dog - who has always slept with me - to be okay with NOT sleeping on my bed any longer? Affecting my relationship!

[labman]

Getting the dog to accept no longer sleeping in the bed may require changing the whole relationship with your dog. Who sleeps where is an important part of who is who in a dog's world. Dogs see all the people and dogs in the household as a pack with each having their own rank in the pack and a top dog. Life is much easier if the 2 legged pack members outrank the 4 legged ones. You can learn to play the role of top dog by reading some books or going to a good obedience class. A good obedience class or book is about you being top dog, not about rewarding standard commands with a treat. Start at Raising Your Dog with the Monks of New Skete For more on being top dog, see Establishing and Keeping Alpha Position

A crate could be a big help in the transition to sleeping elsewhere.
It is only natural that a puppy resists its crate at first. What the puppy
Wants more than anything else is to be others, you, anyone else in the
Household, and any other pets. In our modern society, even if we are home,
Other things distract us from the attention an uncrated puppy must have. The
Only real solution is to crate the dog when you aren't around. The dog may be
Happier in its den than loose in the house. It relaxes, it feels safe in its
Den. It rests, the body slows down reducing the need for water and relieving
Its self. Dogs that have been crated all along do very well. Many of them
Will rest in their crates even when the door is open. I think the plastic
Ones give the dog more of a safe, enclosed den feeling. Metal ones can be put
In a corner or covered with something the dog can't pull in and chew. Select
A crate just big enough for the full grown dog to stretch out in.

Leave it some toys. Perhaps a Kong filled with peanut butter. Don't leave
Anything in the crate the dog might chew up. It will do fine without even any
Bedding. You will come home to a safe dog and a house you can enjoy.

A dog that has not been crated since it was little, may take some work.
Start just putting its toys and treats in the crate. Praise it for going
in. Feed it in the crate. This is also an easy way to maintain order at
Feeding time for more than one dog.

The "shut the puppy in a safe room" is a fallacy. Very few houses even have a
Safe room. How many of us have a room with a hard surfaced floor and nothing
Else? Most rooms have electrical cords to chew if nothing else. In addition
To destroying anything a bored puppy finds to chew, it may choke or have
Intestinal blockage from the pieces. I had a friend that left her dog in a
"safe" room. It ate a hole in the floor covering. The safe rooms fail to
Give the dog the comfort of the enclosed space their instinct requires. Nor
Do they restrict activity extending the time the dog can go without relieving
Itself.

Likely it will cry the first few nights in the crate. I have never had much
Luck with the old clock or radio tricks. What I do is lay down by the crate
Like I was going to sleep there. Usually a puppy may fuss a little, but then
Settle down and go to sleep. Once it is asleep, you can get up and go to bed.