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J_9 · Mar 7, 2007, 07:28 AM

I say that, it was very good, and I wish more schools would do that. Children learn more from people closer to their own age, they look at them as peers rather than authority figures.

wizzkid89 · Mar 7, 2007, 03:39 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

But you forget the fact that children ARE dependent on thier parents. The whole point of the family as an institution is to nurture children until they are ready to fend for themselves. Sure there comes a point when parents need to let go. That point comes earlier for some, later for others. Almost always the child and the parent will disagree about when that point comes. But the parent has a responsibility towards the child and they have to do what they think is right.

This is why I am against children having intercourse (note, I'm being specific here). Because they are just not ready to deal with a child.

I understand that kids now, during their adolescent years are dependent, mostly financially upon their parents, however if you do not let them make their own mistakes, then a dependency will develop that will stay with the child after their teenage years. It's not right for a 25 year old to run to mommy and daddy looking for them to bail them out of every problem they encounter, and if you do not let them go and strike it out on their own then that is likely what will occur.

J_9 · Mar 7, 2007, 04:02 PM

I see your point Wizz, however, when it comes to teen sex and teen pregnancy, I was mature enough to wait and raise my kids. I am getting too old to raise my children's children.

That is a growing epidemic in this country, grandparents raising grandchildren, because the children were given too much freedom to make their own mistakes.

While you are 99.9% on target with your responses, I have to disagree with you in most part here.

When a 15 year old becomes pregnant, she is not ready physically, mentally or emotionally for the tasks that an infant brings to the table. So, who is left to raise that baby? Most of the time it is her parents, the infants grandparents.

wizzkid89 · Mar 7, 2007, 04:08 PM

Originally Posted by J_9

I see your point Wizz, however, when it comes to teen sex and teen pregnancy, I was mature enough to wait and raise my kids. I am getting too old to raise my children's children.

That is a growing epidemic in this country, grandparents raising grandchildren, because the children were given too much freedom to make their own mistakes.

While you are 99.9% on target with your responses, I have to disagree with you in most part here.

When a 15 year old becomes pregnant, she is not ready physically, mentally or emotionally for the tasks that an infant brings to the table. So, who is left to raise that baby? Most of the time it is her parents, the infants grandparents.

With all due respect J_9, I was aruguing a theory here. In my earlier post, I advocated the intervention of parents in concern to teen pregnancy. I said that parents should intervene with their children when it comes to such serious matters. In my last post, however, I was talking about a parent being involved in every decision the kid makes, I think you might have missed my point.

J_9 · Mar 7, 2007, 04:33 PM

Yes, Wizz, I guess I did miss you. My BAD. Sorry, I missed your first post somewhere. I digress on that issue.

ScottGem · Mar 7, 2007, 05:44 PM

Hi Wizz, Theory and generalties are all well and good. I agree with you that you have to let kids learn from their mistakes. But that doesn't mean you let them ruin their lives or hurt themselves if you can stop it. If your child walks out into traffic are you going to let them get hit by a car to learn that's wrong? They may not recover from such a mistake! A parent has to balance letting a child learn, grown and mature on their own, with keeping them safe to make that growth. Its not easy to keep that balance. And I would suggest erring on the side of safety is the better method.

wizzkid89 · Mar 7, 2007, 08:40 PM

I mean to say, But yeah a balance is the right idea...

BrittanyLivers · Mar 8, 2007, 11:00 AM

well I am a teen my self so i think that it would be good to just come up to her and ask her to have a mother daughter talk to ask her what has been going on in ur life and how she is doing if anything is brothering her... But once u tell her that u look on her myspace she wont trust u no more.. and then she wont come to u and let u know what is going on in her life .. I mean parents just have to wait until she fills like it is the right time to tell u .. But make sure u talk to her and tell her she can tell u anything. And that what ever it is all can work threw it .. B/c remember everythinh makes u stronger and deff. U realtionship... I promise .. Well it did wit me and my mom

missgallucci · Mar 8, 2007, 11:02 AM

Tell Her Not To Have Sex Trust Me Just Say U Will Regret It And Say You Should Be With Someone For Along Time Before You Do This.

mrsmoz · Mar 8, 2007, 11:11 AM

To be honest I don't think you should have been going through her myspace in the 1st place. Surely at 14 she has already has already had a sex talk with yourself or her school. 14 is way to young for sex and I understand your concern. I would have a friendly chat with her but she will not be happy with you if she knows u have been on her myspace.
:)

ScottGem · Mar 8, 2007, 11:22 AM

To BrittanyLivers, missgallucci and Mrsmoz

Please review the entire thread before adding your reponses. This thread is now up to 5 pages and the original question was posted 2 months ago and answered then. The OP has posted the result of the advice and everything is fine. There was really no need for any of you to add to this thread.

missy_muffins1984 · Mar 11, 2007, 02:06 PM

I was 14 years old when I lost my virgnity. I hid it from my parents for 6 months then when my mom finally told me she knew I owned up to it. We had all the sex talks, also we get educated on those kinds of things in school (pregnancy, STD's, Condoms, birth control methods.) I went to the doctor on my own to get put on the pill. These things are available without needing your parents permision. And yes teenage girls are having sex younger and younger every year. I feel the best thing for parents to do is talk with them and explain all for the negative sides to sex, and how to prevent them. I also think that they should really push the idea of making decisions that are right for you and not anybody else, because a lot of teenage sex is a result of peer pressure and because everyone else seems to be doing it I want to to type thing. So it is not necessarly giving her the green light putting her on the pill, it is just doing everything in your heart to make sure she is safe. Building walls never really helped anybody.

J_9 · Mar 11, 2007, 03:29 PM

missy_muffins1984 disagrees: this is not helpful at all because you can take all the precautions in the home you want, but what are you going to do when they are not at home?

I am sorry you disagree with me Missy, but if you take the precautions at home, teach your child well, then you should be able to trust them when they are not at home.

There is absolutely nothing you can do when they are not home. But an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Missy, are you a mother? Have you had to deal with this before in your life?

I am a mothre of 4, I have had to do this twice already (my sons are almost 21 & 19) and will be doing it again with my two youngest.

If you teach them well at home, you should have little to be concerned of when they are out and about.

Kids will be kids and they will do as they wish to an extent as they grow, but they also have to learn boundaries, and that begins at home.

shorty_got_skills · May 1, 2007, 07:22 AM

I'm 15 and I'm on myspace 24/7 one thing all parents should know about myspace is half of it FAKE!! Teens also use a lot of sarcasim and jokin. The conversation could have been harmless jokes.

ST3V3NZBABYZMAMII · May 6, 2007, 10:56 AM

Maybe She's Giving In To Just Get It Over With.. that What I Did And I Regreat It Till This Day. You Should Talk To Her Be Open Let Her Know That She Can Talk To You About Anything. I Read What You Wrote About Birth Control And It Does Seem Like She's Getting The Green Light And I Think She's Way To Young. Try And Have This Talk With Her As Soon As Possible. You Don't Know What The Future Hold For You Little Girl. Hopefully The Talk You Have Makes Her Change Her Mind. I Know You Want The Best For Your Little Grl And Its Hard To Talk About Things Like This, And She May Be Shy At First Cause You're her Mom But Just Let Her Know That She Can Be 100% Open With You No Matter What The Situation Is Good Look With Her I Hope Everything Works Out Fine

steffy_bear · Jun 17, 2007, 01:37 PM

Originally Posted by mrsh

I like to check in on my daughter's my space from time to time. There was never anything worth getting fired up about. I was just on and read a conversation she had with a boy about what they were going to do sexually the next time they were going to see each other. I felt sick. She is only 14 and she has never ever given me any reason to believe she was ever doing anything like this. I need to address this with her. Any advice on how?

Well I am a teen and I know what it is like to have a guy start that and wanting to say that. I would just sit her down and talk to her. Don't put her on birth control or even buy or talk about condoms. All girls know about that and they know if they have access to them they think they will be fine. In 8th grade which I think she is in they should be going over stds and if she hears about that she should be worried. I know I was, I was totally shocked and it was gross. Just sit down and talk to her. Because she will eventually do it and you can't stop that but she needs to know at that age it isn't right.

rockstar567 · Jun 17, 2007, 01:46 PM

Originally Posted by mrsh

I like to check in on my daughter's my space from time to time. There was never anything worth getting fired up about. I was just on and read a conversation she had with a boy about what they were going to do sexually the next time they were going to see each other. I felt sick. She is only 14 and she has never ever given me any reason to believe she was ever doing anything like this. I need to address this with her. Any advice on how?

well my mom has had convo`s with me about this stuff. all the safety`s
& i told her i know it...but dont GET UP in her life like my mom does to me.
she checks my phone
makes sure i dont do anything bad
Just tell her that you guys need to talk about things...
& tell her that you care about her safety

PrincessChu-chi1312 · Jun 18, 2007, 08:09 PM

Talk to her ask her if she loves him and plans to live her whole life with him if its not true love then dsont let them do anything if it is true love tell her to protect herself and try not to brake them up cuase if you do she'll hate you and she'll cry every day and watch sad movies and stay in her room a lot and refuse to come out trust me I know my father interfeared in my conversation and I can't see my boyfrind anymore and he took my verginaty away and I want to live with him but I still sneak out to see him. Just talk her.

angelinside94 · Jun 22, 2007, 07:06 PM

OK mother... obviously you haven't done a good jod at being a parent... first off you should have your child in church and scared to even think about "SEX" or even whipping your child when she talks abot this and having connections with boys like that. You need to get your act to together and get her to church so that she can learn that your not to be having "you know what" till she is happily married.Her body is not a toy that you can play with and wipe off when its "dirty" I mean do you know what self respect is and have you taught your daughter about that?? You need to have a LONGGG talk with her and ground her and mayb even ground yourself for your horrific parenting... obviously you must a tramp yourself... good day... I said good day women (I think you're a women)

Sam-xx · Jun 23, 2007, 09:03 PM

Originally Posted by mrsh

I like to check in on my daughter's my space from time to time. There was never anything worth getting fired up about. I was just on and read a conversation she had with a boy about what they were going to do sexually the next time they were going to see each other. I felt sick. She is only 14 and she has never ever given me any reason to believe she was ever doing anything like this. I need to address this with her. Any advice on how?

Lol this isn't funny, and I know how you feel. Im in high school and this is going on everywhere. A lot of girls are turning into you know what lol. But I guess its just high school. Meh