[bliedel]

My son is 18, graduated last year, has a 2 week old baby and has been laid off from his job for 3 weeks. He is disrecpectul to myself and his father and he refuses to help around the house. We pay his car insurance, motorcyle insurance and cell phone bills. What can I do to get him to show respect and be a helpful part of the family? Kicking him out on his ear is out of the question to me right now. Maybe that's part of the problem?

[J_9]

If kicking him out is not an option to you, how about not paying for his insurance and cell phone. Those are luxuries that he should earn, not be given freely.

[bliedel]

If kicking him out is not an option to you, how about not paying for his insurance and cell phone. Those are luxuries that he should earn, not be given freely.

Thank you for the advice. I have outlined a list of items I will no longer pay for if he does not be respectful and help around the house. I guess I need to get over my own fears to see that this is the best for him. I fear that he will not be able to pick his daughter up because he will not have car insurance and I will not be able to get in touch with him if he leaves if I do not pay fro his cell phone. Sound like I am an enabler hu?

[J_9]

Yup, that is exactly what you are doing. You are enabling this behavior. If he needs insurance, he will have to pay for it.

Cell phone? Well, what did we do before cell phones? They still have pay phones you know.

If he is getting what he wants, he will continue this behavior. You need to let him know in no uncertain terms that on (just pulling a date out of thin air) August 1 you will no longer pay for his insurance or cell phone. If he wants them, he must work and pay for them.

I hope you are not paying his child support also.