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reddish_rogers · Jun 11, 2007, 11:00 AM

My husband and I have been separated for the last 2 months. One day he just up and left. To this day nobody knows why. He has given me maybe 150 dollars for "child support." He has not tried to spend any time with our daughter and now he thinks he is going to get her this weekend. Can I tell him no or do I have to let her go with him?

bekah876 · Jun 11, 2007, 11:12 AM

It is important for your daughter to be able to see her father. She might have some unanswered questions for him or need some kind of closure. (I don't know how old your daughter is though). I think it would be wrong to keep her from her father. Let her decide if she is old enough to.
If you have only been separated for 2 months you probably don't have any legal document about custody; therefore, you can say no. Right now it is just you against him no legal documents to tell either of you what you have to do.
Remember though if you keep your daughter away from her father she could eventually resent you for that.
Good luck, I know these are rough times.

bushg · Jun 11, 2007, 11:17 AM

If he has no custody order then I don't think you have to let her go, after all he did abandon her in the eyes of the law or so it would seem, but you do not have a record of this that you mention. But you need to ask yourself why you don't want him to see her is it because you are angry at him ? Afraid that he may take off with her ? Afraid that she has forgotten about him? Ask yourself why and go from there and if you still don't want him to see her or take her. Call or visit your police station they will advise you as to what you need to do , or if they can enforce him not taking her if you calll the police on him, for trying to . Good luck

excon · Jun 12, 2007, 06:12 AM

Hello red:

If you're using money as a reason to say no, I wouldn't. I suggest that you don't involve your daughter in your problems with your husband. That's not my opinion, it's the courts. You should be aware that in legal terms, there is no connection to child support and visitation.

excon

tawnynkids · Jun 12, 2007, 10:55 AM

Legally you may not keep him from his daughter. If she was born after you two got married then he is the presumed legal father and has equal rights by law. What you do need to do though is go file for custody/visitation immediately. That will keep him from being able to take her and not return her. But no you can not deny him for any reason. The Court will not see that in your favor and it will be held against you in the long run. Go get a lawyer though or he can take her, file himself and keep her with him until custody is awarded. Whenever she does go with him though I would write up the time she does with him and is expected to be returned and you both sign it, that way if he does take her it will at least show the court that she was to be returned. It won't be enforceable by the police or anything, as it will not be on order of the Court, but will show his intent and that he is not acting on good faith or in the best interest of your daughter and would be held against him in court.

endlessecho · Jun 14, 2007, 07:04 PM

You don't have to. But you should. What anyone in the court system is going to tell you is to do what is in the best interest of the child, and while it sounds like your husband may not be the most stand up guy, it's hard on a child to go from having 2 parents to 1 out of the blue. I can understand anger and hurt at your husband, but your daughter needs her father and if you fight him on it, you'll be putting her in the middle of it.

Best of luck.