[Dad in class]

I welcome any been there done that Fathers and mothers who have worked in their child's class as a volunteer and have a good understanding of school administration politics and teacher & administrator insecurities. I do believe from what I have witnessed that plays apart in the advice they give us regarding our children. My daughter is 6 and in first grade, she will be 7 in August over 75% of her class has been 7 since December.she is right on in reading, struggles with math but then so did I until I got out of college and found an excellent teacher.
Her teacher is concerned about her ability to self manage and complete tasks I don't Know many 40 year olds who can do that, They will all tell you they can :) Please share your Pearls with me on what I might look forward to in retaining my little girl.

Landon Wine

[J_9]

Landon, I have been in your shoes although my daughter was in kindergarten. What happened with my daughter was that the pre-school she was going to said that she knew the cirriculum and was getting bored, there was not much else they could teach her. So we put her in kindergarten... She was only at the time, would turn 5 that year.

What we found out was that the maturity level is vastly different even with a one year age difference. My girl had no problem with the reading, writing, or math for that matter, but had a hard time socializing. Long story short, we decided to hold her back for a several reasons. First was so that she would have the time to mature before moving on in grades, as kindergarten and first grades are the easiest to hold a child back in. Second, she would not be the "youngest" child in her class the next year. Again, one year at that age does really make a difference. Third, we did not want her to be so young when she graduated, sounds silly I know, but the harsh reality is that kids are cruel and we wanted her to fit in. If we had let her go forward to first grade she would graduate at the age of 16 (he birthday is in November).

I will tell you that it was the best decision we ever made. In that year she showed a level of maturity that amazed us from the previous year. She is now 13 and about to go into 8th grade, rather than 9th (if we did not hold her back). She is a straight A student without hardly having to study because she was given the extra time to mature and develop her social and academic skills.

If you are considering this, please remember that first grade is one of the easiest grades to hold a child back in. You do not want her to struggle in third grade, which is the HARDEST elementary grade. Your gal is still very young and may need that extra year to catch up rather than having to play catch up later, we all know how hard that is.

As far as my background, I do have an early elementary background, my family is in all levels of education from teaching to elementary speech therapy.

I hope you make the right decision for your little one. I know it is a hard one to make, but the rewards are ten-fold.

[NowWhat]

I am in the same boat. My daughter just finished first grade. She will not be 7 until September. We have decided to hold her back. A very tough decision! She was right on with her math, but behind on her reading. If you look at her report card though, you would not see the problem. She got really good grades. But, we had a meeting with the school admin. her teacher, the counselor and the S.E. teacher. The problem was not what was written on the paper. It was her maturity level. She did not use her time wisely, she could not work independently, etc.
Like I said, it was a hard decision for us. But, in the end - I think (hope) we made the right choice. We were told that given the chance, our daughter could really shine academically. Not struggle. And no parent wants their child to struggle.

[hollyheeb]

Decision to Retain Cassidy:

I have a daughter with a late August birthday. She will turn 7 the day school starts. The first half of her first grade year was painful for her, for me and I'm sure for her teacher as well. She is a very social butterfly and consistently had her name up on the board for talking and being a general distraction. Consequently... she didn't like school and I got to hear about it.
Her math skills are quite good. Unfortunately, she struggles in reading and writing. Considering that these are the cornerstones of an educational foundation, we hired a tutor to work with her 1 hour a week in the spring and have continued it through the summer. Additionally we read daily and try to motivate her to read independently. This is a skill her older brother has had since the spring of his first grade year. He is a December born that is toward the older in his class.

School is setting to begin in 1 month and I'm just not seeing the level improvement in her reading or writing that I'd hoped for. My goal is not that she be an A student for my own satisfaction. I'm seeking a more independent little student that enjoys her educational experience.

I've spent quite a bit of time in both her classroom and my son's, who just finished second grade. I was surprised at the expectations and the amount of reading within the 2nd grade Excel math program. I keep flashing back to the work my son did and I fear that even her math scores will drop. We are switching districts this year and I feel that this is a good opportunity to make a difficult situation a bit less stressful for her. She will have new friends and is less likely to be taunted for repeating a grade. I know she is very socially aware and I have the insecurity of damaging her sense of self-confidence. But my bigger fear is how falling behind and feeling lost in school will damage her sense of self.

I am encouraged by the above comments... as I write this it is 1:30 am and I'm hoping for some peace of mind so I can go to sleep!