[lilvegangrl]

So, I have a problem. I am a 19 year old girl who is attending college while suffering at home.

I will give the background history.

I am a volleyball player of over 10 years. Varsity all 4 years in high school, college last year. Well, I always played because my older sisters did, my parents coached, and it was just in our family blood. Well... I am tired of it. I don't enjoy playing anymore.

Well... I was away from home going to college on a volleyball scholarship. I had the worst season of my life. During the first term of school, I was on the honor roll. After the season was over, I felt free. I flunked out my second term of college. At this point, I had started dating the man I plan on marrying in life (at least not for 3 more years though). Well, my parents gave me two options.

1. Move home, attend the community college (they pay), be under their strict watch (they are both cops), play vball

2. Move out onto my own, cut off, no college (at least for a couple years... so I can work and get loans), stay where I really want to be, homeless

Well, I moved back home. And I am depressed, gaining weight fast, starting to become suicidal... I only see my boyfriend about once a week, if I am lucky.
My parents and I fight constantly.. about everything.

I told them I didn't want to play vball and they almost kicked me out for that simple reason.

I want to move out so bad, but I am stressed. I need advice.
I don't have a job, and I am having troubles finding one.

I can't live at my house any more.

I hope I don't sound like an immature girl.

My parents and I are very different people.
They are conservative cops
I am a very liberal vegan girl with dreads, piercings and tattoos

We fight everyday about EVERYTHING. We are all just very different

[pergammano]

I see a picture here of you rebelling, the dreads, the piercings, the tattoos! I am sure all this contributes to your parents unhappiness with your progress. You have accepted the fact that you are different... move out! If you are living under their roof, comply with them! If you wish to do "your own thing".. get out, & get your own life. If you want a job, you will find one! I don't think volleyball is the issue here, I think it is YOU opposing them by living a controversial lifestyle in their home. Get a job! Get out! You are 19, take hold of your life! You know that by the dreads, etc. you are upsetting your parents, don't hurt them anymore, they have a right to their lifestyle. Leave... and then make every effort to mend the relationship.

[Emland]

I have made a vow to never make my daughter do something (like sports, dance, etc) that she doesn't want to do. I was forced to take piano and developed a distinct dislike for the instrument.

I do hate the fact that you threw away your opportunity for a low cost education by letting your grades drop. If I could have gotten my schooling paid for by playing the piano, I would have. Most likely would have never touched the thing again - but who knows? I suspect your relationship with your boyfriend is the main reason for the grades slipping, though. BFs and GFs can really derail an education if you aren't mature enough to handle both.

I imagine the dreads and tats have a lot to do with your inability to find a job. Many employers will not be able to get past your look to see what is inside.

You are going to have to decide what you want out of life. If you want the education and want mommy and daddy to pay for it, then you play by their rules. If you want to live life your way - find a job. There are many out there, but maybe just not the ones you want. Call centers are always hiring intellegent, responsible people - but you usually have to work weekends. Go to school online and take out a student loan like the rest of us. I attended St Leo University online from the comfort of my home. Accredited Online Degrees - Business Administration, Accounting & Criminal Justice :: Saint Leo University

You have to figure out what you want out of life and stop fighting your parents.

[pergammano]

For some odd reason, I feel like you are acting like a self-indulgent brat! It has to be difficult for your parents, with their regimental lifestyle, to have a child, living under their roof, to be mocking them on a daily basis with their own lifestyle. If you are 19, you must know that your appearance flies in the face of convention. It is difficult for your parents, & potential employers to get past your appearance! It seems like you have an attitude to go along with the visual. You want it all, but do not want to fit the mold. You've been handed a gift, volleyball! Do you have any idea how many people out there would love to be in your shoes. A home, parents, chance at an education (paid for)! Get over the ME,me, me thing... get in the game and score in life.

[Tootruetooblue]

I think you mean well but you do not understand that parents want what's best for their children, not what the children think is best for them when they aren't old enough/mature enough/experienced enough to know.

The appearance you have described isn't necessarily any more unique than wearing a school uniform - it is the uniform of the disinfranchised/fed up with authority/wanting to be different/wanting to be seen as creative and socially conscious. People dressed the same way you have described, with the same attitudes, when I was your age - over 20 years ago. You are making a statement, and the statement is offensive to your parents. You insist on continuing to make it while living in their home. That is immature. Your appearance choices also will limit your opportunities and your parents know that. They liked your personality and attitude when you were an athlete and you were healthier then too - that's why they want you to play! It's not about volleyball, but rather about you not becoming like all the other disastrous lives they get caught up with in their work as cops.

How about respecting their values and their best intentions for you and adopting some of them until you are old enough to support yourself without being desperate and homeless?