[Kayrunner]

So I am dating a 20 year old and I'm only 16 but we haven't had sex and I'm just wondering could he get in any trouble for dating me if we don't have sex?

[wwehurricane1]

Depending on your state law there should be no legal problem with you dating a 20 year old, but since you are a minor, your parents would probably need to approve. If they don't, they can probably take action to have him kept away from you. Also, in most states it IS legal to have sex with a person aged 16 and up as long as there is consent.

[Larjada]

Instead of worrying about boyfriends and sex you should be planning your educational goals. Women need education and job skills to prepare for the future. If you marry or and have children you want to be able to support them and or yourself. You cannot depend on someone else. Independency is the greatest thing a woman can have.

[huno]

You're 16 and you're dating a 20 year old? Either you're really hot or he's a total ugmo... or the guy's got a huge wallet, a huge car, or a huge... other thing. Either way I guess there's nothing legally wrong with it. I'll bet the parents aren't okay with it, though.

Incidentally, concerning the above, yes, it is true that young people think about 10 seconds ahead into the future (unless there's a party, then they spend all week thinking about what to wear). But she hasn't really demonstrated that she's letting this thing get in the way of her education. So long as it doesn't, there's nothing morally wrong, either.

[kristynn]

You're 16 and you're dating a 20 year old? Either you're really hot or he's a total ugmo... or the guy's got a huge wallet, a huge car, or a huge... other thing. Either way I guess there's nothing legally wrong with it. I'll bet the parents aren't okay with it, though.

A 4-year difference... NO big deal! : )

[Wondergirl]

A four-year span between two people over 25 is no biggie, but for a 16 y/o and a 20 y/o, it's pretty huge. Males mature at a much slower rate than females. They finally catch up to each other in their early to mid 20s. At age 20, a guy is at his peak sexually, but not emotionally. If I were your mother, I would be very watchful of this relationship.

[J_9]

It does indeed depend on where you live. Where I live he could be arrested for statutory rape if you two were to have sex as the minimum age for consensual sex is 18 in my state. If your parents find out he could be arrested and have the distingushed title "Sex Offender" behind his name for the rest of his life.

It would be nice to know where you live so that we could provide you with the legalities for your area.

Usually a 16 year old and a 20 year old are in two different stages of life mentally. While he has graduated high school, and possibly college, he is out in the workforce providing for his future (we hope). At 16 you should be concerned with your grades, what college you will be going to etc.

Ask your parents this question and see what response you get.

[kirriky]

16 to 20 doesn't sound too bad, they can both be students and have similar interests and worldviews. He may encourage her to pursue this or that university degree, give her an idea of what life after high school is like.

And whoever decided that one can't concentrate on schoolwork while dating someone? Id say most, if not all teens spend half their time dating, and the other half worrying about not dating. And I don't know what's worse for studying, dating or worrying.

And I don't really get the problem with 'legal' issues, I mean how on earth would you get caught? Police breaking into the apartment? Or has anyone threatened to press charges against him? Why shouldn't things be handled in a civilized manner?

[J_9]

Kirriky, you apparently don't know what can really happen. If her dad finds out and gets pissed off, he can report this 20 year old to the police when he will have the title of "Sex Offender" following him wherever he goes. He will have to register with the Sex Offender Registry for a lifetime. He may not be able to get jobs, he may not be able to get apartments, do you want me to go on?

I agree that things should be handled in a civilized manner, however, when sex is involved with a minor, that is a very serious offense.

Please see these links:

Age of consent - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
A table of worldwide ages of consent, including US states

And especially this one
Moral Outrage - Age of Consent Laws By State

[kirriky]

Yes J_9 I know about ages of consent. I also know that reporting your kid's bfs/gfs to the police only because they are (supposedly) having sex (with consent, and with the girl being 16, which is a fairly reasonable age to be having sex that also happens to be legal in most of the world) is an extreme measure that shouldn't be taking place in a healthy family.

And anyway, they'll have to prove it first, no?

[J_9]

It may be an extreme measure... maybe it shouldn't be taking place in a healthy family... But it does. Plain and simple it does.

You and I may not see eye to eye, and I am not here to debate my morals against yours, I am simply providing the info asked for in the OP.

Will they have to prove it? Proven if a parent walks in... proven if the girl is taken to the hospital for an exam... proven if the girl becomes pregnant.

Again, I am not here to debate you. It is apparent we have different morals. Yet again, I am here only to provide the info requested.

[J_9]

so i am dating a 20 year old and im only 16 but we havent had sex and im just wondering could he get in any trouble for dating me if we dont have sex?

So, in answer to your actual question, if you DO NOT have sex, no he cannot get into any legal trouble. I am hoping you both are mature enough to get your parent's blessing to date though.

[Wondergirl]

The point is, a sexual relationship may be against the law. Depending on where she lives. And the differences in worldviews is a major point.

[J_9]

Wondergirl, please read the whole thread. That has been discussed and links for legal ages have been posted for her to look at when and if they decide to have sex.

[Wondergirl]

I did. I was emphasizing that.