[tamed]

That sounds like my kind of school! Your school's program is similar to the one Professor Baron-Cohen did using toy trains (long story) but it was said to only appeal to those who like Thomas the Tank Engine. I guess the same would go for you too in that it would appeal to those who like dogs but it is a really good idea. Like I said, a breath of fresh air to hear about schools such as yours. Keep up the good work!

[Capuchin]

There was an inspiring video on YouTube by a young man with aspergers, with him trying to explain how he sees the world and what the condition means to him. I will dig it up tonight.

[tamed]

Cap, there is also a good book called 'The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time' by Mark Haddon that is also a good read if you're interested.

[Capuchin]

Found it:

[tamed]

I love the part about not wanting an antidote, a lot of people affected by ASD and Aspergers have been saying this for a while and it even appeared in the New Scientist about a year ago. They've always maintained the fact that it is not an illness and that they do not need to be 'fixed'. I may need you to send me the link though as I feel that a few teachers I know may benefit from this. Thanks again for sharing.

[Capuchin]

Click on the vid while it's playing, it will go to the YouTube page where you can get the link :)

[tamed]

Thanks a bunch!

[J_9]

Wow, Tamed, I am sorry you think that I am so misinformed. I would love for you to meet my friend and her children. She has one who is severely autistic (very low functioning) and one who has moderate Aspergers. I am not misinformed in the least. I may not always be able to express myself clear enough for evryone to understand, but I am not misinformed.

I am trying to find my friend's website, but being so far away from home I can't seem to find it. I have it bookmarked at home. When I get home and get the site I will C&P it here.

[J_9]

Sorry Cap, I had to spread the love!

That was a GREAT YouTube video was GREAT and actually what I was trying to describe. But again, I can't always put my thoughts into the right words.

Here is exactly what I mean... RED apples and frogs. LOL

[J_9]

Asperger Syndrome

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (4th Edition), known as DSM IV, published in 1994, defines Asperger syndrome (AS) as marked by "severe and sustained impairment in social interaction" along with "restricted repetitive and stereotyped patterns of behavior."
As a parent, what behaviors might I suspect as indicative of this disorder?
The more general traits that may be observed include awkwardness in social situations, an intense preoccupation with certain specific (often unusual) topics, self-directed orientation, a lack of understanding of social cues, and clumsiness caused by lack of motor coordination.
What is meant by "severe and sustained impairment in social interaction"?
A child with AS often has problems with normally developed verbal as well as non-verbal interaction tools. The child may, for example, not meet the eyes of a person speaking, seem to lack facial expressiveness, or not use normal body posturing and gestures. This affects social interaction in a negative way.
What are "restricted repetitive patterns of behavior"?
This kind of behavior is demonstrated by a preoccupation with certain actions or objects within a restricted range. Rather than applying an intense interest to a variety of subjects, the child with AS has interests of a rather narrow scope, like aliens or computers, bus routes or sports schedules, maps and charts.
This restricted repetitive behavior also is exhibited through a very rigid, non-negotiable adherence to specific nonfunctional routines or rituals. The child with this disorder may, for example, insist on walking a certain route to school without deviation. The child is inflexible about following a certain sequence of events--he or she may need to walk in a circle before sitting down or dress in a specific order. These nonfunctional routines can be of critical importance to the child with Asperger. Given a choice in clothing, the child might create what seems like a uniform that is worn day after day.
How is Asperger different from autism?
A child with Asperger experiences no clinically significant delay in cognitive development and does not experience a gross delay in developing language skills.
Other differences are:

• Children with autism tend to think concretely and have much difficulty with symbolic thinking and pretend play, whereas Asperger children can be quite imaginative although themes may be repetitive.
• Asperger children tend to have motor coordination difficulties not seen in autism.

What about relationships with peers?
The child may not make friends easily, or at all, and may not seem interested in sharing experiences or interests with those around him. For example, a child developing normally may show his artwork to people around him or bring a toy to his sister or brother to look at, but a child with AS will not as readily do so.
A child or adolescent with AS may seem unwilling or uninterested in responding to others in a socially or emotionally reciprocal way. For example, the child may ignore or seem to not notice when a person expresses affection toward him or prompts conversation. On the other hand, Asperger individuals may highly desire social interaction, but their poor social skills result in failure which can cause anxiety and depression.
What about the course of Asperger syndrome?
AS usually presents between ages 2 and 6 years, but is often not recognized until later. As far as doctors know, the disorder is present throughout the course of a person life. It has often been diagnosed as late as young adulthood.
Who gets Asperger?
Not much is known about how common the syndrome is because few studies have been done. Prevalence rates range are estimated to from .024 percent to .36 percent based on studies in Canada and Goteborg, Sweden, respectively.
Boys appear to have a higher incidence than girls at a 4:1 ratio. There is likely a genetic component which is thought by some to be related to the genetic deficit in autism. This is presently unclear.
How does one arrive at a diagnosis of Asperger?
The diagnosis is based on the presence of signs and symptoms in the DSM-IV. Differential diagnosis includes autism, complex learning disabilities, schizophrenia-spectrum disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
What treatments can be considered useful or helpful for the child or adolescent with Asperger?
Because securing educational and related services may be difficult due to the lack of knowledge about Asperger, it is important for the parents and clinician to work closely together to supply the patient and school personnel with the necessary information and help. Educational interventions are often necessary and should be individual accommodations to the persons needs. Because these students generally do well with memory tasks, teaching in a rote fashion may help the individual to retain the information presented.
Deficits in social skills may be remediated in small groups usually led by a mental health professional or speech and language pathologist.
Depending on the presence and extremity of associated symptoms, psycho-pharmacological interventions may help. Examples of associated symptoms that may be effectively treated with medication are hyperactivity, impulsivity, inattention, mood instability, temper outbursts, depression, anxiety and obsessive-compulsive symptoms.
Summary:
Early intervention and treatment is the single most important effort a parent can make to influence the outcomes for a child or adolescent with Asperger. Finding a clinician that can make the diagnosis of Asperger may be the more significant hurdle in getting appropriate treatment for your child.
Resources:
Autism and AS, by Uta Frith, Cambridge University Press, London, UK, 1991 ($17.95)
For more information on the Internet, look for the "Asperger Disorder Homepage" at http://www.ummed.edu/pub/o/ozbayrak/asperger.html

[tamed]

Wow, Tamed, I am sorry you think that I am so misinformed. I would love for you to meet my friend and her children. She has one who is severely autistic (very low functioning) and one who has moderate Aspergers. I am not misinformed in the least. I may not always be able to express myself clear enough for evryone to understand, but I am not misinformed.

I am trying to find my friend's website, but being so far away from home I can't seem to find it. I have it bookmarked at home. When I get home and get the site I will C&P it here.

Not to sound up my own behind or anything J_9, but I have met many people like your friend. Most of my friends have children on the spectrum and so is my brother and a couple of my cousins, my HUSBAND has Aspergers and so does his dad and as an Educational Psychologist, I'm pretty sure I know a thing or two about ASD and AS, after all it is my job. I also wouldn't refer to the comparison of dyslexia and ASD as apples and frogs either (but that's another story altogether!). I understand that you may not be able to express yourself at times, we all get like that from time to time but if your re-read my post, you will see that I have outlined where I think you were misinformed. You C&Ping the DSM IV manual for me makes no difference to my opinion. The fact that you could say AS is a mental illness or that sometimes those affected do not know that they are happy at all makes me think that you are misinformed as this is most certainly not the case. Even those with special needs (not only ASD) know when they are happy and at first glance you may not be able to see that but if you observe them for longer you will know what makes them happy and what does not. I don't know what its like over in the US but here in the UK, there are many charities and organisations that pretty much have the same views on ASD and AS as the one you will find here;

The National Autistic Society - Is there a 'cure'?

There is also an American lady (Roz something I can't quite remember her name but when I do I will let you know) who is on the Spectrum and gives many lectures on what its like to be in her shoes, her likes and dislikes etc..
Finally, I would also like to add that because there is ongoing research on this issue, to source a book from 1991 is like me giving you Leo Kranner's definitions of Autism, while it has its basis many of his definitions has been expanded upon since then.

[J_9]

Tamed, I am not disagreeing with you nor am I trying to say I know more than you... I was simply stating what I knew from the people that I know that have ASD.

I did the C&P more for the benefit of the OP than for either one of us.

[slurpiness]

More informative for the moderators who knows only tidbits

[umahlib]

Okay. It seems that I have stumbled upon a place where I can provide fruitful feedback and where I might receive some good advice, too.

First, let me begin by telling you how it "feels" to not know how to communicate with somebody. It is one thing to say that we, aspies, don't UNDERSTAND emotions, but it's a different thing all-together to TRULY not understand them. I think that often-times the phrase, "doesn't understand how to communicate" is interpreted as, "doesn't care, is unwilling to learn, or will never be able to learn how to interpret and evoke emotions in others." What I'm trying to say is that I have ABSOLUTELY no idea about what emotions ARE. All I knew is that quite often I get a tension in my body, and over the years -- because people have pointed it out -- I've come to understand that such tension comes on when I'm in the middle of a situation which others deem "emotional". So, what I'm trying to say is that we, aspies, do not provide the expected response to emotions and communication efforts of NT people because quite often we don't even know that it is emotion that is gripping at our nerves. Instead what I perceive is a deluge of tension, nerves, sweating, etc. all of which I cannot understand. Does that make sense?

Secondly -- and this is the worst part of having both high IQ and being an aspie -- it is utterly tormenting to KNOW that I have a deficiency but which I do not understand. I mean, I've been told that I have this and that, which is fine, but I know I have these things only because of what people have told me. So, that then leads to utter depression! I am so lonely, but I just don't know where to go, who to talk to, etc. And I'm not saying this in a therapeutic sense; all I'm saying that I've been told that I have a syndrome, and I can only perceive indirectly that I have it by virtue of the stress that it brings about. So, what is depressing and makes me nightmarishly lonely is knowing that I have something, but likewise NOT knowing that I have it because I really cannot feel it nor do anything about it.

Finally, the rules, rules and more rules that we, as aspies, are able to gleam from the world and from social occasions. I know what is considered kosher during a wedding. I know what is acceptable decorum at a funeral. I know when to smile and I know when to frown. But all of these "emotions" that I exhibit are a mere my reciting of a script. THAT gets old after a while. I feel like a fake. A fluke. I just want to get up in the morning and go "with the flow". But no, that is not how it works. I have to constantly thing, plan, and ruminate about things that I can't really quite understand, but which are required of me nonetheless. So, going into my little world every now and then is something that I must do -- for the sake of my sanity. So, although NT people may want to "change" an aspie, I don't think it's possible.

Okay, well, so I've divulged information that I hope you'll find helpful. At least, I've told you how and aspie looks at the world.

Now, what can I get from this message board? Hmm, good question. Perhaps, it would be good to hear how people have learned -- or have failed -- and learning how to cope and live with an aspie. Part of me does not want to pursue a relationship because I know that mine in the past have failed because I simply "lost interest". So, it would be reassuring to know that there are NT people there who appreciate our efforts. More importantly, do our (aspie) efforts at communication and relationships offer enough of a good feeling to warrant to perpetuate that relationship? It is a very poignant and deep question, because depending on the answer, well, then that'll in a way determine -- at least for me -- if I should even attempt at conjuring up relationships with another person.

[flumber]

J_9 sounds like a tactless bigoted 'know all'. Using a phrase like 'mental illness' regarding Asperger's Syndrome shows that she knows very little... it would be far more accurate to call it a neurological condition. J_9 is also highly patronising. A 'top poster'? I'm guessing J_9 is just someone who likes the sounds of their own voice (or in this case keyboard clicking).

Best wishes to you echosounder.

[Antaresana]

I have been having a friendship/relationship with a man who has aspergers syndrome for about eight and a half years and it has been one of the most difficult things that I have had to cope with in my life.When I met him I knew that there was something different going on with him but I just didn't know what and it wasn't until his Mother told me that he wasn't well that I started to figure out what could be going on. At the time I was suffering from severe depression and found it hard to deal with myself let alone help and understand this man.I would say that we have become more than good friends but the limits are always there and they are: no physical or sexual contact now although there was in the beginning and he wants to live on his own but still keep the friendship.My problem is that I fell in love with this man but have to accept that it will never be reciprocated in the way that it would be with a 'normal guy'.