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    darli25's Avatar
    darli25 Posts: 2, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    May 3, 2007, 10:52 PM
    Flirtatious Boyfriend
    I am currently in a relationship and my boyfriend is the flirtatious type. I have spoken to him about how it hurts me that he flirts with other girls. He told me he would stopped but I found out that he still does it. I told him it is disrespectful and he told me he completely understand but he would tell me one thing and do another. What do I do in this situation?
    And do you think that the girls that he flirts with don't think that he respect me? Please send me an answer as soon as possible. Thank You!
    brandyrosenbrock's Avatar
    brandyrosenbrock Posts: 4, Reputation: 2
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    #2

    May 3, 2007, 11:08 PM
    If I were you I would stand up for how you feal if you feal that strongly about him flurting with other girls and it hurts you if he can't stop your relationship will never work . I had a similer situation with my boyfriend of 5 years when we were first got together. I let it slide for almost 2 years and it was killing me it made me feal like the image of our relationship was verry week and I knew people saw it as he could just walk all over me ,so before we moved in together he had promissed he would stop and messed up really bad I stood my ground and told him if he could not stop disrespecting me that the relationship was over ,he fought really hard ,but I continued to stand my ground and our relationship has been so much stronger sense I even think in a way me standing my ground made him respect me even more. so I would say stand your ground if he really loves you he will stop knowing how much it will effect your relationship if he dosen't, but if he won't stop your better of not being in the relationship.
    Bluerose's Avatar
    Bluerose Posts: 1,521, Reputation: 310
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    #3

    May 3, 2007, 11:40 PM
    I think he just has a flirtatious persona and this is a part of his personality and not something he can change without extreme effort. I believe this is why he seems to be disrespecting you, because he says he will change but he doesn't. I don't think he is really aware of what you mean.
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #4

    May 4, 2007, 12:09 AM
    The thing is a you cannot change a person, if unfortunately it is in his character to be a flirt then its beyond your control.
    However, do keep making a point of it until it gets through his head...

    Or

    You could play his style and flirt with some other guy - althou I know this isn't genuine advice, it may help. However, get more input on it.
    bby shorty's Avatar
    bby shorty Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    May 4, 2007, 02:35 AM
    Dump him nowxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx u do not no mex
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    May 4, 2007, 05:35 AM
    If he was like that when you met him, then why do you expect him to change? It doesn't work like that. You can't change people. Why should you worry about what others think? You have no control over that either. Deal with it, or don't. He probably firted with you too, and you liked it.
    iAMfromHuntersBar's Avatar
    iAMfromHuntersBar Posts: 943, Reputation: 146
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    #7

    May 4, 2007, 05:37 AM
    Can you explain how and when he flirts?

    My Girlfriend accuses me of flirting, but I honestly don't know I'm doing it, I just think I'm being friendly!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #8

    May 5, 2007, 05:58 PM
    disagrees: Because he/she calls him/her self a relationship expert but this is the answer he/she come up with. I think whatever she learned just gone to waste. That is unfortunate.
    Sorry you didn't hear what you wanted, and since you have no answers to the questions ask you then nothing has changed has it. Its still up to you to stay or go. I also think your personel attack is either from youth, or inexperience and that may explain why your b/f's flirting makes you insecure.
    GundamP's Avatar
    GundamP Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Jun 2, 2007, 05:39 AM
    Look, I can see why this would annoy you because I think I have one like that too. I can see why it would make ANYONE feel like crap. But, if you feel you are way to emotionally strained then let him know by simply saying " How about I give you enough space to flaunt yourself?." I would hate breaking up with my boyfriend because I am forever a Cancer and can't let things slip through my fingers because of something that one day could have been resolved, I don't know if you feel that way, but that's my opinion. Whatever you do, think about yourself because you're the one that's going to be the one that ends up with the short end of the stick, unless you break up with him and he is totally devastated.
    I hope this on some degree helped you, and if it didn't I'm honestly sorry because I can understand what your going through.
    -P
    diya's Avatar
    diya Posts: 303, Reputation: 62
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    #10

    Jun 2, 2007, 10:53 AM
    He is flirting and you don't like it... and still staying with him... what do you think you're doing? See, people do what they want to do, if u would want to change something about him(which most unlikely you will be able to), tomorrow, he may want to change something about you which you enjoy(like he enjoys flirting), will u change yourself?. and even if you do change yourself, u will not feel happy within. So it boils down to just this... let him enjoy his life and u enjoy yours... decide one way or the other to avoid fights in future.
    Southerngrl489's Avatar
    Southerngrl489 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Jun 2, 2007, 04:30 PM
    If your boyfriend admits that he flirts a lot then you have a problem. If he doesn't realise that he's doing it then its not so bad. My ex used to flirt all the time. At first, it killed me, but then I realised that he didn't mean to. He was just being himself. He was just naturally flirty. I knew that I was the one he cared about, not the other girls he flirted with.
    victoria_mitchell's Avatar
    victoria_mitchell Posts: 242, Reputation: 32
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    #12

    Jun 2, 2007, 05:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by bluerose
    I think he just has a flirtatious persona and this is a part of his personality and not something he can change without extreme effort. I believe this is why he seems to be disrespecting you, because he says he will change but he doesn’t. I don’t think he is really aware of what you mean.


    I agree my boyfriend is the same way but he's not doing it intentionally. Besides you shouldn't be so untrusting if you're still with him
    stefani1's Avatar
    stefani1 Posts: 47, Reputation: 4
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    #13

    Jun 3, 2007, 02:20 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by iAMfromHuntersBar
    Can you explain how and when he flirts?

    My Girlfriend accuses me of flirting, but I honestly don't know I'm doing it, I just think I'm being friendly!
    I think its when you give more attention to another girl then to your own girlfriend. I know what this feels like first hand and that's more what it seems to be. Like if you make conversation with a girl, and ask too many personal questions or talk about things that are too personal or make too much eye contact, this could be considered flirting in your girlfriends eyes. I would say just always pay more attention to your girl than any other girl you talk to in front of her or she may consider it flirting. And p.s. it feels like sh--! When you think your boyfriend is flirting or interested in another person. BUT got to admit it is human naturre to be attracted to others as well as your own partner. But we don't always have to make it obvious :)
    brandyrosenbrock's Avatar
    brandyrosenbrock Posts: 4, Reputation: 2
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    #14

    Jun 6, 2007, 09:26 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by stefani1
    i think its when you give more attention to another girl then to your own girlfriend. I know what this feels like first hand and thats more what it seems to be. Like if u make conversation with a girl, and ask too many personal questions or talk about things that are too personal or make too much eye contact, this could be considered flirting in your girlfriends eyes. I would say just always pay more attention to your girl than any other girl you talk to in front of her or she may consider it flirting. and p.s. it feels like sh--! when you think your boyfriend is flirting or interested in another person. BUT gotta admit it is human naturre to be attracted to others as well as your own partner. but we dont always have to make it obvious :)
    I never posted anything about my boyfriend I answerd a ? About somones boyfriend ,but great advice!
    brandyrosenbrock's Avatar
    brandyrosenbrock Posts: 4, Reputation: 2
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    #15

    Jun 6, 2007, 09:27 AM
    I just did!!
    hot-shopper-500's Avatar
    hot-shopper-500 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #16

    Jun 6, 2007, 10:53 AM
    Well u should dump him and see if he changes don't let him hold u back in life and boys there are plenty of more boys/guys out there

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