[Radhak]

I am going through a difficult situation now. I don’t know how to explain. My family is a very orthodox family because of that I didn’t fall in any love affair till now.

I got a proposal from a guy from the same community. My family also liked him and they proceeded with the usual rituals as going to his house, meeting his family member’s n all… and they fixed the marriage
I don’t know suddenly it all got fixed. But I was not unhappy about that because I was ready to get settled. And I started preparing for that. But the thing is he was somehow acting differently. He was the one came up with the proposal and started acting as if he is not interested in it. When I got the instinct that he is somehow not happy with the marriage I told him to back out because I didn’t want to marry a person who is not interested in me and this is just an arranged marriage. So he can just back out. But he told me not to talk like that marriage. But as the time was going on he was becoming more silent towards me. At last after so much of compulsions he told me the truth. That he is not falling in love with me. Whenever he thinks of me he is becoming low. And we don’t see also. We stay in different places. Our only contact was through phone calls and chatting. He is telling he is not happy at all whenever he thinks about me. Then I told we will finish this. Why only me suffering for this? Am I the only one who loves him and respecting him? And I had started a lot of emotions for him and also started preparing for the marriage and engagement. And he also has lot of emotions towards me. But he is telling with emotions he can’t live with me. And because of that he asked me to change the engagement date. It was a shock for my parents as whole world knows about our marriage. And at last with lots of pain my parents postponed it. He wanted to be fine during engagement and marriage. For that only he asked for time. But he gave my parents word that marriage will be there in August. And gave them assurance not to worry.
Then we decided we will not talk for two months so that he can think.
They believed and now they are waiting for his reply. Today is the last day of those two months… but sometimes and all we had to talk. Last week he told me he is not interested in the marriage and he is not going to do anything for marriage. I am heart broken. I waited for these two months hoping he will be fine. I don’t know what to do. My parents are in the mid way in the preparation for the marriage. I don’t know how to tell them this. I don’t understand how one can do like this. He is going to break the word he has given to my parents.
I am fed up now. I don’t know what to do. I tried to convince him. I know this is broken. But I want to get married and him to love me… but I don’t know how to make up all these…

[chuff]

Well I can't speak about your culture so I don't know if this applies but I would think that you would be happy to find out before the marriage that he doesn't want to be married. That way you don't spend your life with someone that doesn't want to be with you. You can't force him to love you so why not accept that he doesn't, find peace with that and continue your life in a positive fashion.

[talaniman]

Can you call it off??

[inthebox]

"At last after so much of compulsions he told me the truth. That he is not falling in love
with me. Whenever he thinks of me he is becoming low. And we don't see also. We stay in different places. Our only contact was through phone calls and chatting. He is telling he is not happy at all whenever he thinks about me. Then I told we will finish this. Why only me suffering for this? Am I the only one who loves him and respecting him? And I had started a lot of emotions for him and also started preparing for the marriage and engagement. And he also has lot of emotions towards me. But he is telling with emotions he can't live with me."


That says it all.
I would not get married.
What is the consequence of breaking off an engagement?
Would it be worse than getting married to a man who seems to not love you?




Grace and Peace