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no_tears_left · May 29, 2007, 11:18 PM

My boyfriend was everything to me, and I feel completely lost without him. When I was with him everything seemed perfect. All of my problems went away, even when I just heard his voice over the phone or read an e-mail sent by him. I went away from him for two months and he called me and talked to me everyday. I couldn't have loved anyone more. When I finally felt the time was right after we had been together for 6 months I gave him my virginity. Then things started going down hill and he eventually left me. I still love him and I want him back. I can't go on with out him!! What should I do?

starscollide · May 29, 2007, 11:26 PM

Originally Posted by no_tears_left

My boyfriend was everything to me, and I feel completely lost without him. When I was with him everything seemed perfect. All of my problems went away, even when I just heard his voice over the phone or read an e-mail sent by him. I went away from him for two months and he called me and talked to me everyday. I couldn't have loved anyone more. When I finally felt the time was right after we had been together for 6 months I gave him my virginity. Then things started going down hill and he eventually left me. I still love him and I want him back. I can't go on with out him!!! What should I do?

Oh boy... I've been there... I guess the only wisdom I can really lend is what I learned over time and that is: NEVER let ANYONE be your EVERYTHING. Sounds easy, right? Sometimes, we lose sight of ourselves and we become so wrapped up in a relationship that we feel lost without that person. Not to say it doesn't happen, but its not healthy in the long run. My ex took my virginity too and I took his and yes, that's monumental and its something you'll remember for the rest of your life but that can complicate things. Maybe being that close and intimate with someone scared him, or maybe it made him realize the seriousness of the relationship? Different people react differently to these things.

The best advice I can give you may not be much, but its gotten me to where I am: Live for yourself. Go out, do things you did with him, but learn to do them alone. Find that sense of independence that's missing because it IS missing if you refer to him as your everything. Talk to him about it if you haven't and if you can handle being friends, remain friendly towards him. The best thing to do would be not talk to him every day like you used to, it just drags out the inevitable pain of a break up. If its meant to be... it'll happen but accept that for now, its over. Take the chance to start living your life for you, and spend time with friends and family because they really are the best support system.

no_tears_left · May 30, 2007, 06:20 AM

I wish that I could still talk to him, but he made it clear that he never wants to hear from me again. Especially since the girl he left me for decided that she hated me. They're not going out anymore, but he still won't want to hear from me. :(

swati722 · May 30, 2007, 06:27 AM

If I give you a straight forward answer... I feel he used you for his needs... and the best thing you can do is to live your life now... its hard to forget but keep yourself preoccupied with other things so that don't have time to think about him... and... spend more time with your family and your loved ones... and share this with sumone close to you... so that you can get a moral supprt... life doesn't stpos and keep on going... time is the best healer... but a genuine advice... dont ruin your life after him...
Take care... n all the best... god bless u