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tjcjmc2 · May 26, 2007, 01:55 PM

Hello,
To make a long story short my daughter is going to be 4 yrs old, and I am married to her step father but he has been her dad for 2 1/2 years. I am a stay at home mom and my husband provides for us in the fullest. The battle with my daughters biological father has been never ending. He hasn't paid child support in over 2 years my husband and I don't even want or need his money. It was determined over a year ago that my husband was going to adopt my daughter and he wants to more than anything in this world. My 3 year old knows him as daddy and doesn't remember any different. Her real father was in and out of her life from the day she was born. The day I dropped child support her bio father agreed he would terminate is parental rights and my husband would then adopt her. We have been saving for this for a year and know we have the money together to do this and her bio father will not terminate his rights unless we give him $500 dollars for one is this LEGAL and two he hasn't made any effort to contact her in over 2 years is this considered child abandonment and could I have his rights terminated on my own not to mention his criminal background. Some one please help I am afraid my daughter is suffer in this and no one else I just want what is best for her, and deep down in my heart and gut my husband would be the better role model and father figure in her life. He loves her as if she was his own and she loves him unconditionally she only knows him as her father and introducing her real father would only confuse her. Please help I need to know my rights.

ambertushar081206 · May 26, 2007, 01:59 PM

Originally Posted by tjcjmc2

Hello,
To make a long story short my daughter is going to be 4 yrs old, and I am married to her step father but he has been her dad for 2 1/2 years. I am a stay at home mom and my husband provides for us in the fullest. The battle with my daughters biological father has been never ending. He hasn't paid child support in over 2 years my husband and I don't even want or need his money. It was determined over a year ago that my husband was going to adopt my daughter and he wants to more than anything in this world. My 3 year old knows him as daddy and doesn't remember any different. Her real father was in and out of her life from the day she was born. The day I dropped child support her bio father agreed he would terminate is parental rights and my husband would then adopt her. We have been saving for this for a year and know we have the money together to do this and her bio father will not terminate his rights unless we give him $500 dollars for one is this LEGAL and two he hasn't made any effort to contact her in over 2 years is this considered child abandonment and could I have his rights terminated on my own not to mention his criminal background. Some one please help I am afraid my daughter is suffer in this and no one else I just want what is best for her, and deep down in my heart and gut my husband would be the better role model and father figure in her life. He loves her as if she was his own and she loves him unconditionally she only knows him as her father and introducing her real father would only confuse her. Please help I need to know my rights.

I would check with a judge. It doesn't sound right.

tjcjmc2 · May 26, 2007, 02:07 PM

I know I am just so upset about all of this and with it being a holiday I have to wait for an answer till I can contact my attorney on Tuesday that is 3 days of waiting to know my rights. I have searched for laws in PA but nothing specific. I was hoping a lawyer would be on this sight and be able to answer briefly what my chances of terminating his rights were. My husband and I would do what ever it took to keep from confusing and hurting our 4 yr old.

Fr_Chuck · May 26, 2007, 04:10 PM

Well maybe not, but then it will cost you a lot more than 500 to fight in court to get his rights taken away. So in the long run, if he is at your lawyers, and the lawyer gives him the money after he signs, it may be the cheapest 500 you ever spent, since it may cost into the 1000's (5000 or more for attorneys if you have to try and have his rights taken without him signing ** if you can even get them taken away.

Of course the other shoe is to say fine, you will not adopt, but you are going to take him back to court for all his back child support and even get his paycheck garnished. Fight dirty.

danielnoahsmommy · May 26, 2007, 04:12 PM

Best of luck!

fortun8me · May 26, 2007, 09:21 PM

I think the biological father is pretty low and terminating his rights as a father for $500.00 is one way of showing this... lucky for you this is really cheap and your daughter's luck in this is that you can't put a price on the REAL father that she has. I agree with Fr_Chuck that this should be done in front of an attorney.

LadyB · May 27, 2007, 06:24 AM

It is illegal to exchange money for a termination of rights in regular adoption, I cannot imagine it is legal in any situation.

I would do as Fr. Chuck suggested, and tell him if he doesn't terminate you will take steps to enforce the in place support agreement and get all of the back money you are owed. You can also just move forward with an involuntary TPR. When you retain an attorney this should be the first issue addressed.