[talaniman]

Notes To The Rural Milkman

"Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one."

"Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk."

"Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it"

"Milkman please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk."

"Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks."

"Sorry about yesterdays note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round."

"When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress."

"Please knock. My television's broken down and I missed last nights 'Sopranos.' If you saw it, will you tell me what happened."





A German Farmer

A German farmer with relatives in the US promised them some fresh pork sausages made by hand from his very own stock of pigs.

But as the weeks went by, they gave him a call to complain that the package had not yet arrived.

He told them, "Don't worry. The wurst is yet to come."





Exchange

The teenager approached the sales clerk in the dress shop with a large bag. "My mother likes this outfit -- may I exchange it?"





For The Kids...

What do you get if you cross a crocodile with a flower?
I don't know, but I'm not going to smell it!

What button won't you find in a tailors shop?
Belly button!

Why didn't the banana snore?
Because it didn't want to wake up the rest of the bunch!

What do you call a man with cow droppings all over his feet?
An incowpoop!

[CaptainRich]

Loved the German Farmer!

[Superfly999]

I thought these were a little corny :p but keep them coming :D

[talaniman]

Yeah I agree but I could only put the ones that where fairly clean here.

[magprob]

I've told wurst jokes. Like my schnitzel joke. I won't tell it here.