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blanket · May 23, 2007, 02:17 PM

:( I moved to Ohio about 10 months ago. My ex husband has custody of our kids. I gave him custody because I couldn't take care of them when we divorced. Long story, I did not want to put them through being fought over, if you can understand that. My Question is though, I want to have them for some time through the summer, by the way, they live in Georgia. The ex husband says he is thinking about it, well, it is doubtful that he is going to say yes. What should I do? Do I fight him and take the, I haven't seen them in almost a year, they miss me and I miss them. Or do I just give in as always and let him continue to run the show?

vlee · May 23, 2007, 03:51 PM

You can file for partial custody or visitation and get a court order. You need to file where the children live, so I'd contact an attorney near their local courthouse. Do you not have a custody agreement? Did you just leave the kids with him or did you sign a court order giving him sole custody? Either way, as long as you are willing and able to commit a specified amount of time to them on a regular basis most judges would allow some sort of visitation even if dad objects, unless you are unfit or he can prove it is not in the children's best interests. Let your attorney know what you are expecting to get time wise and he can draw up an order and mail it to your ex to sign. If he refuses you will likely have to go there for a mediation session, then if that doesn't work a court date will be scheduled. If you think the dad is going to say no no matter what, I would ask for more than I really wanted. That way there are things you are willing to give up to make it appear as though you are trying to compromise. Tell your attorney you want X number of weeks during the summer and alternating holiday breaks if you want those. Ask him about asking for more than you really want so that if dad says no way, you can drop some time off when you enter into mediation. He may be more accepting if he thinks you are getting less than you want.

tawnynkids · May 23, 2007, 04:51 PM

Actually blanket you need to file for modification of custody/visitation in the Court where the original Court order was done. Maybe that is where he is? A standard visitation order for non-custodial parent is :
The entire Thanksgiving and Christmas/Winter Break on alternating years
The entire summer
The entire spring break every year
Alternating other holidays depending on distance

NowWhat · May 24, 2007, 05:44 AM

In Ohio, the out-of-state visitation is:
One weekend each month w/a seven day notice to the custodial parent (all travel expenses paid by the non-custodial parent)
Spring break
Half of christmas break - to begin on Christmas day
And up to six weeks in the summer. If a child is with you for a certain amount of weeks in a row - a hold is put on the child support for those weeks.

Since the kids reside in GA, they would go by the GA visitation guidelines.

I have to ask - was there a visitation schedule put in place when you divorced? Do you pay child support? If there is a visitation schedule in place - then your husband can argue all he wants - but he would have to follow the court order.

Good Luck

blanket · May 24, 2007, 06:52 AM

Yes, there was a custody agreement, I have normal visitations of every other weekend, every odd year holidays, etc. but since I have moved to Ohio, all I have are letters, sending gifts, phone calls... I don't have the money to file anything nor fight anything yet, just trying to get them for a little while because we miss each other alots. I am ordered to pay child support, and do pay. I moved away to get away from all the things holding me back from getting custody back one day. I have PTSD and wanted to make sure that I can deal and take care of the babies. And now that I am here, things are going really slow but steady right now. I'm a good mommy ask anyone that knows me.

tawnynkids · May 24, 2007, 08:44 AM

You said you wanted them for some of the summer... as long as your court order specifies time in the summer than he can "think about it" all he wants, but you have the right regardless of what he wants. This is the kicker, because you moved out of state you may be bound to exercising your visitation within the state. The only way to know for sure is to call a lawyer in Georgia (you can get free phone consults) and find out if you can bring them to Ohio.

startover22 · May 27, 2007, 07:19 PM

Beside the leagal stuff, let me just tell you that I hope you fight, fight, fight! I am a 32 year old, I saw my mom for the second time when I was 30! I was 5 when she left, my dad and step mother made it very hard for her to see me or do anything. Please keep going with this. I am mostly concerned as of why you are so far away. My mom moved across the whole USA and that did not make it easier for her to see us. Please no job or man is more important than your children. When my daughter turned 5, all I could think about is why my mom or how my mom could do that to me! Good luck and please fight for your right! Four kids later (my mom also had four) I would do anything in my power to see my children...

Fr_Chuck · May 27, 2007, 07:31 PM

WELL while he may be obligated to the court order, what happens if he merely says no, you can't have them. Well all you can do if he says no is to file in court and take him back ( IN GA) to court. So he knows you don't have the ability or money to do that, most likely he is not scared to say no you can't have them or see them. While if you take him back to court if he says no, he may get fined for contempt, if he believes you can't or won't take him to court, he has little to worry about.

I used to try and go see my kids in Texas, she moved out of state without permission, and refused to allow me to see the kids. Well if I went to her door to see the kids she called the police on me for tresspass, I have been in the back of more than one Odessa Texas police car for trying to see my kids. And the police in Texas to be honest had little concern over legal and illegal, only what they wanted, I tried to wait to see them down the street and was even hauled off sitting in my car on a city street.

So I had a hand full of Missour court orders, of her in contempt, and orders to see my kids and the police in Texas could care less. And of course not living in Texas I could not stay there to go to court and for every continuance the ex keep getting.

So often what is right and what is suppose to happen does not happen if we do not have the time or money to enforce our rights.

Mom of 2 · May 30, 2007, 01:25 AM

I am also questioning why you moved so far away from your kids. Apparently, Ohio is where your support system is. However, running away from hard times is not the answer either. You will have to take your ex back to court in order to make sure that he follows through with what was agreed upon. Again, check with a lawyer in the state of Georgia. Show proof of your commitment of getting your life back on track, i.e. therapy, support groups. etc. The fact that you gave up your children because of not wanting to put them in the middle of a custody fight may be commendable, depending on whether you truly had your children's best interest in mind or just because you wanted to run away. A good example of what I am talking about can be found in the bible. King Solomon was a judge who was hearing about two women fighting over who the true mother of a child was. When it appeared that no compromise could be reached, he told the women to cut the child in half and for each of them to take one half of the child. Ludicrus, right? Well, the true mother could not bear to see her child hurt in this way and therefore told the king that the other woman could have the child. With that statement King Solomon knew who the true mother was because what mother would subject her own flesh and blood to this kind of torment? Again, if you truly did it in the best interest of the children because you were not in the best emotional shape, then you should be proud of the fact that you were truly thinking about your children. Good luck to you and I hope that everything works out for you!!

Chelle0578 · Jun 21, 2007, 01:15 PM

Originally Posted by tawnynkids

Actually blanket you need to file for modification of custody/visitation in the Court where the original Court order was done. Maybe that is where he is? A standard visitation order for non-custodial parent is :
the entire Thanksgiving and Christmas/Winter Break on alternating years
the entire summer
the entire spring break every year
alternating other holidays depending on distance

Agree, it goes this way 99% of the time:).