What to do what to do

ashley81802 · May 4, 2007, 06:52 AM

I've been dating my boyfriend now for 4 years and 9 months we know we want to be with each other forever so we've decided to get married just a fast wedding like at a court or something. I'm sick of just being a girlfriend to him and he feels the same being boyfriend you know what I mean anyway, the only down fall is I'm still living with my parents and he's going to live with his. Its going be weird not living together but my parents are moving to California so me and him plan to move in with my parents down there till you get our own place... is this weird or should I just go through with it because I really still want to marry him. Also this is just temporary because we plan later on down the road to have a big wedding at a church but we just don't have the money and we don't feel like waiting that long.

Fr_Chuck · May 4, 2007, 07:16 AM

There is no need to spend 10,000 on a large church wedding, and there are ministers in every county in every state that are glad to do a wedding at your home, at their home or at the court house.

But why can't you live on your own? Are both of you working ? Are either of your working, if not why not ?

persainpapaya · May 10, 2007, 04:38 PM

I'm sorry to say this, but in my opinion, people shouldn't get married if they can't find a way to live together. You should at least be able to afford to rent a room or something super cheap. Otherwise it's like two little kids being married and living off Mom and Dad. Just doesn't make sense to me. Sorry.

fix-what-you-broke · May 10, 2007, 04:53 PM

Personally I would say wait. You have been together this long, a little more time won't make a difference, why rush?
We don't want a huge wedding either, just something we both want, neither of us want to spend thousands on one day as we both feel its not the wedding that matters,it's the actual marriage itself.
Maybe try living together before you take the huge step of getting married, you need to experience living together in my opinion, you might not get on as good as you do now when you are with each other in the same house day in day out.. then what heppens if you are married?
Try living together as a couple first,there's plenty of time to get married... been with mine coming up to 5 years and hey we arnt even engaged yet! There's no rush at all.
But, if you do it, I say good luck to you both.

persainpapaya · May 10, 2007, 06:12 PM

Sorry, but I completely disagree with living together first. I think that there is no real solid commitment without being married. I know I am old fashioned... but I believe in doing the right thing.

gypsy456 · May 11, 2007, 08:28 AM

Originally Posted by persainpapaya

sorry, but I completely disagree with living together first. I think that there is no real solid commitment without being married. I know I am old fashioned... but I believe in doing the right thing.

the "right thing" is what feels right for people...

to me living together first is a very wise way to avoid disappointments.
living together is a different ballgame...
the bills need to be paid, the garbage has to go outside, it's not all caramel popcorn and smelling roses...
it's reality.

people who have been together for so long are equally as committed as people who are married...

there is a solid commitment with those who live together.

don't put too much value on a piece of paper before you know what you get yourself into...

persainpapaya · May 11, 2007, 08:50 AM

I guess that it depends on who or what is a persons source of judgment. Because I believe in God and that the Bible is His inspired word... I hold the opinions that I have. Now, the "world" will tell us to do what "feels" good. Unfortunately, I disagree with that. I think that is a self-centered way to live. I think God is quite clear about the sanctity of marriage. It is a covenant between God and the two people marrying. Without that "piece of Paper" there is no covenant. I have yet to meet a person who loved God and was sorry for obeying his word. Besides, I was taught that I am a princess, and the true prince would never expect to have me for FREE. He would WANT to commit his life to mine. Living with someone is like being an unpaid prostitute. That makes no sense to me. I know my opinion is probably as far away from what many of you believe as possible, but it is just my opinion, (and Gods). I feel that this boils down to: how much do you value yourself? Blessings.

ashley81802 · May 21, 2007, 07:53 PM

Thank you guys for all your input it really helped me out

talaniman · May 22, 2007, 04:36 PM

If you can't live together after getting married what's the point? Big wedding, small wedding, irrelevant. Living apart after? Not a good plan, and nor very well thought out. Wait until you can have your own place will you. If you two live at home and work then you can afford to live somewhere together. Not in moms house.

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