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shannonmm26 · May 18, 2007, 06:37 PM

I went and talked to a lawyer and he said my son is too young to change his name w/out the noncustodial parent's consent. I live in Arkansas and the father (noncustodial parent) won't give his consent even though he is never around. What should I do? My son wants his name changed back. The father had it changed when he was three when my son didn't want it changed.

Fr_Chuck · May 18, 2007, 06:42 PM

If your attorney says it can not be done yet, then you will have to wait till the child is older. How old is your son ? Perhaps support your son, let him know his name is fine and you are OK and happy with it,
Make him happy with who he is and his name, esp if you can't change it,

shannonmm26 · May 18, 2007, 07:07 PM

My son is seven and I went to a lawyer in a small town. I don't really trust or believe him. I am going to college to become a lawyer and I can't believe that the United States would have laws that basically say we don't like illegitimate children. It is wrong and I don't know how to find the information on the internet unless I am in law school or a lawyer. Where would I look?

ScottGem · May 18, 2007, 07:44 PM

First anyone can use any name they want as long as there is not an attempt to defraud.

Second, googling legal name change finds lots of resources.

Fr_Chuck · May 18, 2007, 07:53 PM

Of course a name change is a legal change, and since there are two parents, I don't see where you are saying they don't like children just because their parents were not married, there is not difference, if divorced or merely living together the name change is first a state law, not federal and each state will have their own requirements, If the child has the fathers last name, I don't see what expecting the father to agree, or at least having the judge rule that it is OK, would not be expected.
You would file for the name change, the father would be notified, have the right to object and the judge decides, Depending on the judge the child may be asked ( not sure at his age)

But many states allow for the name to be changed by the custodial parent unless it was a specific ruling of the family court. But some states allow for the non custodial parent to object and have his views voiced in court. Please understand it is my opinoin that he does not like that name for some reason, other than his own opinon, family?? And that a father should have rights to their child also.

shannonmm26 · May 19, 2007, 11:56 AM

I have allowed my son to choose which name he prefers to be called, but in court they changed his name to his father's. His "father" has nothing to do with my son unless the "father's family" is wanting to see my son. I want him to be happy and he isn't happy with his last name and wants it changed. The states, all of them, (from what the lawyer I went to told me) don't like illegitimate children and want them to have the father's last name even if child doesn't want it. Of course he was 3 and I didn't want it changed either, but the states do not like to admit illegitimate children... lawyer's words.

ScottGem · May 19, 2007, 03:24 PM

That's assinine. Forcing the child to take the father's name doesn't mean anything about illegitmacy. It really has nothing to do with that. Tradition is that the child takes the father's name. That's all it is, is tradition. It has nothing to do with illegitimacy.

If a court gave him his father's name, there may have been a reason for it. Go back to that court and ask why.

shannonmm26 · May 21, 2007, 07:22 AM

Scott the reason why they changed my son's last name is because the biological father requested it and the lawyer was best friends with the "father" so it never got to the judge. I was stupid and didn't know my rights and my lawyer didn't care. Now my son is paying for that. It came out of the lawyer's mouth, If the father requests the name change... unless he is doing something harmful to the child... the name will be changed because the state of AR doesn't like to acknowledge illegitimate children. I need help on where to go from here.

tawnynkids · May 21, 2007, 01:00 PM

I don't believe you really have any choice. He is the biological father and unless there is good cause to revoke his parental rights changing the order of the court will be nearly if not totally impossible. Sorry. You can call a few different lawyers and see if you do have any chance but I think that is the best you can really do.

ScottGem · May 21, 2007, 01:00 PM

Originally Posted by shannonmm26

Scott the reason why they changed my son's last name is because the biological father requested it and the lawyer was best friends with the "father" so it never got to the judge. I was stupid and didn't know my rights and my lawyer didn't care. Now my son is paying for that. It came out of the lawyer's mouth, If the father requests the name change...unless he is doing something harmful to the child....the name will be changed because the state of AR doesn't like to acknowledge illegitimate children. I need help on where to go from here.

Like I said, that is assinine. Whatever lawyer said that is either stupid or giving you a line. If it was the bio father's lawyer, then he's lying to you. If it was your lawyer you need a new one.

If the bio father forced the name without a court order or your permission, then h it can and will be voided. But you will havbe to petititon a family court to get it done.

Emland · May 21, 2007, 01:13 PM

How did the father get it changed in the first place without the custodial parent's permission. A judge would have had to approve it - the attorney couldn't have done it alone.

I am astonished that your child had an opinion of his last name at age three. My daughter barely knew her last name at that age.

BTW, I was born and raised in southeastern Arkansas and don't understand your statement that AR doesn't like to acknowledge illegitimate children. I know single mothers that use their maiden name as well as those that chose to use the father's. Like it or not, the state accepts the name put on the birth certificate.

Could your child be unhappy with his name because you are making such a fuss about it? A rose is a rose. He is your son no matter what his name is.

shannonmm26 · May 21, 2007, 01:59 PM

I am not talking about revoking his parental rights... I would just like his name changed from his biological father's back to my maiden name... He is behind in child support 7900.00 but is having 17.00 taken out of his check monthly and he has almost no contact with my son. I just want the name changed... excuse me... MY SON wants his name changed... What else can you give me? I would like to read the laws of the state of AR but they literally make it impossible unless you are a lawyer. Can anyone give me a starting place to do some research on this topic?

tawnynkids · May 21, 2007, 02:17 PM

I understand you don't want to revoke his rights. I guess what I am trying to tell you is that unless you have reason to revoke his rights thereby voiding his parental rights you can not unilaterally change his name. As long as Dad has legal parental rights you can not change your sons name back without his permission or ultimately getting a Court to find it in the best interest of the child to change his name back to your maiden name. I don't believe anyone can give you "a starting place" because there isn't one. The law states that as long as he has proven his legal paternity he has the right to get the Court to have your child be known by his last name. And the only known exception to that is if you can prove it will be in your sons best interest not to use his last name by way of proving that he is an unfit parent so to the point that his legal rights as a parent should be revoked. Your only other option is to ignore all the advice here, the advice of the lawyer you have already spoken to and get the opinion of several other lawyers in your area and see if they can tell you something different.

shannonmm26 · May 21, 2007, 02:48 PM

Emland... I love my son no matter what his name is... he didn't start to make a fuss until the birth certificate was taken to his school and he was forced to be called that. AND the father requested the name be changed and so it was even though he never sees his son and didn't pay child support except for 3 months until he joined the navy last October and child support enforcement takes it out of his check. My son is seven now and really doesn't like it.. he has pitched fits at school because of the teachers calling him that. I told him whatever he wants to be called is fine with me, but he sees his "father" not around and he always knew his name to be mine not his "father's". I just want him to be happy.

shannonmm26 · May 21, 2007, 02:53 PM

tawnynkids... I appreciate your advice and you are right and this issue is why I am going to college to become a lawyer. The law isn't fair for children who want their name changed and the "father" is nothing but a once in a year, no help giving, dead beat dad. I have plenty of witnesses to testify to that. It hurts my son to have the last name as such, but my son's "father" just wants everyone to know that he is his.. I guess But I appreciate your advice. I would like a starting point in researching the law books on this particular topic and if you would know of a place I could start then let me know. Thank you all.

tawnynkids · May 21, 2007, 03:58 PM

Here is some case law you might be able to find something in?
Ca001473

ScottGem · May 21, 2007, 04:09 PM

Shannon, If you need help interpreting the info in the link Tawny gave you, let us know. But paragraph 4 is the most pertinent.

As I've said, if you take this to court and you can show the following:
1) That his current name was was registered without your approval and without a court approval
2) That the child wants the name change
3) That the relationship with the father will not be materially damaged by name change (if he hardly has anything to do with him now... )

Then, the courts should grant the name change.

The other point is that, the case law shown shows that there is no bias in AR against illegitimate children, so whatever lawyer told you that was talking through their hat.

tawnynkids · May 21, 2007, 04:34 PM

Yes, Scott particularly item #5 should have been enough to keep "dad" from having been able to change the name in the first place.