[Bettagirl]

My brother has been in his room for 5 years. He quit school when he was 16. He does not leave the house. In the last 5 years he has been out of the house no more than 5 times. He doesn't leave the house for family events, but will socialize with us if the event is at my mothers house, where he lives. He will hug us goodbye and tell us he loves us, but won't leave the house. If my mother orders take out for him, she has to go downstairs and get it. He won't communicate with anyone outside of the family. He is very smart and only uses his computer and watches TV. He cares about his cats and his family, but that is as far as it goes. We have asked lots of advice and the typical responses are to get him help, but he will not go to a doctor. A last resort was to call the police and have him checked out by a mental expert, but none of us would even consider doing that to him. My mother moved to a new house when my brother was only 13 or 14 and that is when he started saying he hated school and didn't want to go. He got jumped once while on his bike and maybe that caused some kind of anxiety, but, we don't really know. He had a few friends, but under the circumstances, eventually they all slowly disappeared. My brother doesn't drink or do drugs. He seems perfectly normal if you spent an evening at our house. He laughs with us, jokes, tells stories... But our family knows something is wrong. We love him, and want to help, but getting him out of the house seems impossible. What is your advice?

[danielnoahsmommy]

It took 5 years for you or your family to ask for help. Your brother has a serious problem and needs help. Your parents are the one to seek help as your brother is not dealing with reality.

[Emland]

Sounds like he is agoraphobic. Agoraphobia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I grew up next door to a lady with it and it wasn't until I was grown that I realized that she never came outside. My mother told me when she had to go to court for something years before that it nearly killed her. It is an anxiety disorder - only professional help is going to make it any better. Perhaps there are specialists that will come to him for a consultation.

[brandy681]

This is a problem and you have no choice but to get him help and it will be tuff. For example I have a cousin who has a mental illness and she would not go to the hospital where they would contact her phychiatrist and he would have her admitted to a mental ward. She thought and claimed that there was nothing wrong with her!! This is what happened, since she would not voluntarily go we had to have it ordered by the court and it took me and her daughter (they require two people) to go to court and sign papers for the judge to sign and the cops came and picked her up and she was escorted to the mental hospital. It would be a lot easier if he already has a phychiatrist but if not it is going to be tuff to get this started... He is not working and since he has a illness he can file for disability but he will not get approved unless he gets help. Please contact a phychiatrist and ask for advice and you will have to get him made to go and get help.


I thought for sure that my cousin who I am close to would hate me and her own daughter for life for having her made to go and get help because she cussed us out and was VERY angry at first but now she understands and thanks us. I am so so so so happy that we made her go because she is not angry and her life is not much better. Her mom was clinically depressed and would not work and was paranoid. She also stayed home a lot and did not go out much and had all sorts of other problems as well. She is doing so so much better and is on medication and in counceling. Please if you care about him, get him help so that he can work and had a girlfriend and a life of his own.

Also if you call the police they cannot and will not force him to go to the hospital on his on. I tried this and they said unless they threaten suicide in front of them or is a danger to themselves that they can't do anything. I had to call and get lots of advice and was told that we needed two relatives that know of my cousins condition to come down and sign papers to have a judge sign and they will then come and pick her up and escort her to the mental hospital. This is most likely what you are going to have to do. Hun I promice you that your brother will NOT hate you for this because at first he may be angry but his problem can be cured and he will thank you so much.

[Fr_Chuck]

You will have to go to court to have him committed for evaluation,

If you love him you will do this, you said "no one would consider doing that " so you don't love him I guess becaue you will not get him the help he needs. And what happens when you mom dies , who is going to do something then. You going to have the "crazy" uncle living in your kids old bedroom ? Loving someone means doing the tough things to get people help