Check out some similar questions!

amily · May 19, 2007, 04:57 AM

Why is it sometimes people can be ignorant towards you when they don't even know you enough? I am a russian student in England university and although people could be friendly with me they don't want get to involved with me and keep the distance? Can someone answer on my question?:confused:

matiasmommy · May 19, 2007, 05:47 PM

I can't actually tell you why some people are the way they are.. but I understand exactly what you are saying.

Keep in mind, the English are rather known internationally for being tight lipped and sticking to themselves! Its NOT you.. its THEM!

Just keep a smile on your face, be yourself. You are there to learn at school... so think of all the time you have to do just that. Maybe if they see you working hard, and see you sticking around they will warm up some.

Cheers

Jani Teeter
L3 Director, CSG

amily · May 20, 2007, 06:07 AM

Thank you:) yeah I guess its english people:) the are bit distant at the times, so I do understand what you saying:) I hope at the time it will change meanwhile I have to accept it... well I have no other choice and I gave up trying to be someone I'm not, I just be myself and if they still don't accept me as their friend, then fine. Thank you very much for your support:)

matiasmommy · May 20, 2007, 06:32 AM

Yes.. no matter where you are in the world.. the best policy is to smile and be yourself!

Its been said that the most attractive quality a woman can have is her self confidence. Keep that in mind, study hard, learn lots and be richer for all of your experiences!

Have fun.. it must be very exciting to be studying abroad! I did an exchange in the UK myself a few years back. Being a poor colonial, I had similar confusion for a while there. Around 9 months in they cautiously warmed up some. Its just the culture, In my opinion.. no one is in the wrong and its not personal!

Glad to help!

Jani Teeter
L3 Director, CSG

templelane · May 20, 2007, 01:31 PM

Hey we're not that bad! Try offering to go out for drinks, buy someone one and they should reciprocate. Do you have a mentoring programme at your uni? Have you tried joining any clubs?

I didn't meet many friends at my lectures as we never have time to chat, but I met all my good friends down the union. Alcohol is a great social lubricant; even if you don't drink people will be friendlier in the union as everyone is out to have a good time.

For some reason it's not all right to walk up and talk to someone on the street but in a bar it's completely expected! So my advice is head down to the union, especially in freshers week next year - everyone is trying to make friends then.

Remember proper friendships take time- don't dismiss people because your not best friends within a week.

Good luck

PS your nationality shouldn't matter - most people will find it interesting and want to know about your hometown

phillysteakandcheese · May 20, 2007, 03:21 PM

Ignore the negative people and seek out the one's that have a positive influence on you.

There will always be people around you that like you. They'll want to be your friend, hear your stories, help you out, and be gald you are around to help them when the time comes.

There are also always going to be a person or two that just doesn't like you - and you should really not worry about what their reason is... it's their loss.

amily · May 20, 2007, 04:03 PM

Thank you very much to everyone who reply to me today:) means a lot and I understand, that since I'm only 20 and its only start of my life, I will meet different people and be in different situations... I just have to stay strong and people who will want to be my friends for life will stay there for me;) its all only come with experience;) so I will try not to worry about things so much and just wait for right people to come along:) thank you again:)

Clough · May 21, 2007, 02:57 AM

Excellent advice from the posters above.

You are doing the right thing to wait for people to come along. Please remember that there coming along also takes some work from you to enable them to come along. Want a friend? Be a friend. I'm sure that you are already doing that, it's accepting the fact that not everyone is going to be your friend that is hard to accept.

A lesson that I learned a long time ago in college was that you can't be friends with everybody. It was a hard lesson to learn, since I liked to think that I could be friends with anyone.

I agree that it's NOT you it's THEM.

Water seeks it's own level. It is a basic law of physics. It is the same with people. We seek out and are attracted to people who are like ourselves.

Find yourself in a different country with different customs and ways of looking at things? You are very courageous in doing that. Most people don't do that.

Adapt.

You are already doing a great job of adapting by reaching out to others and seeking other person's advice and opinions.

Your comments in return to other people's advice has been very sweet!

True friendships with people will last forever. I am sure that you will find them.