[emopunk7]

Good for you GF!

[HurtingALot]

And you know what else? (God this roll feels good!! Hope it lasts... ) My mom has said for years... "People don't change...circumstances may change, but people don't." So... to me this means... that he was a jerk to me while in our relationship, he was probably a jerk to the ones before me... and he'll be a jerk to whoever happens to be next... He's 32 years old... this is who he is and he's not going to change... (at least without meds for his bipolar anyway... ) Well... GOOD LUCK... Let him be someone else's NIGHTMARE! I deserve better!! I certainly tried.

[amily]

Hey I know its bad... and I have split up with my boyfriend a few months ago and I still want him back and can't stand the idea of him being with someone else... I have been dating guys and at the moment I'm going out with some really nice guy, but in my heart I know that I still in love with my ex... which does not help me to move on. I know exactly how you feel about it and I know that hard is to get through first weeks of break up... its terrible and you feel like you want to die...

It will get better:) you will feel much better soon, just stay strong and think that everything is only for the best. If its faith he will be back sooner or later, but you can't hope on it, you have to move on. Its hard but everyone has been in such situation and it is not the easiest time... but we all will be happy at the end:) just let him go...

[HurtingALot]

So I am struggling again... (it's always worst in the mornings... ) The weekend is here, and I would normally be spending it with him. This weekend will make the 2-week mark that he said he wanted to "see if he misses me." Am I supposed to call him to find out what's going on? Or should any first contact come from him? I am thinking that maybe his pride would make him not call and I should contact him... My heart hurts, but my head says that if this is ever to work, he needs to realize some things and come to me. Help?! My heart is telling me to go to him... I've given him the 2 weeks he asked for...

[SAB123]

I would wait for him to contact you Trust me if he still cares for you HE will call you. If he doesn't come back you will stuggle for months and months.

[HurtingALot]

I am sad that the weekend is here and we won't be together... It hurts to think that if I don't initiate contact, that I may never hear from him again. My head tells me that if that's the case, then I am truly better off. BUT IT STILL HURTS SO MUCH.

[HurtingALot]

I also know that in order for any of this to even come close to coming back to where it needs to be, He needs to be missing me as much as I am missing him. Tal would say, You're a fool, girl, he is not. In my head I think this may be true... but my heart keeps yearning for it to be otherwise. I imagine time will tell and I just need to be strong. It is so hard.

[emopunk7]

I am already talking to two other girls. One I banged to see if I could get over my ex more quick, but I was honest and told her that I can't do that to her anymore. But she likes me. The other we are just talking and I think I could make her my new girlfriend if things keep going well. I'm not sure... but I'm going out tonight and looking forward to that. I can't keep miserable. Last night I listened to a christian station while I went to sleep and I had the greatest sleep in a long time! God is good all the time. Keep God first and this will be easier. Go to church! Push yourself. Don't let your ex enjoy that you are hurting. Let him know he made a mistake. If you just wait for him, he won't care at all. Move on and that's the only way he will realize his mistake. If you find someone else and you are happy then too bad for your ex, you are better off anyway. No girl deserves to be treated like this. Good luck hun!

[amily]

I think its true and we have to learn to be on our own. We have to learn do things on our own and try to be happy again... but sometimes it could be really hard. I know you can loose loads of your friends because of you going about it all the time. So you have to stop yourself if you feel its too much, but you need to talk about it too, because you just can't keep it inside!! No way!! You will go mad and its not healthy.

I see my ex every day now and its hard to deal with it sometimes, but today I have said hello and we had a friendly chat... it was nice and we both had smiles on our faces... I still love him, but he doesn't know that, I would not want him to know it now. He is going to France this summer and then he has his new life after uni ahead of him. I think I should let him go and think about my life. I don't think there is any chance of us getting back together ever again... so I think its better to forget. I have to be honest and say if he say he wanted me now back in his life, I would say yes... but would it be the same again I don't know. Its true if he didn't want me from the beginning, why would he want me now? I have to be honest with myself and I think we all have to be honest. Its all only for the best:) Good luck with getting over with your ex's and always think of future, not the past!! Its gone... move on;) And always remember you are not alone in this big world and we all coming through such stages in our life;) be strong!!

[emopunk7]

HurtingaLot... Did he ever curse you out? Hit you? What was wrong in the reltionship exactly?

[emopunk7]

I honestly don't think I loved my ex the way I should. But I know it's because the way she was. I'm noticing this after 2 months. I loved her sure. But not the way true love should be. I am crazy about her body and her personality, but she was really mean to me. I remember during the relationship I wanted to do so much more for her, but I wouldn't because I knew she would be bad with me again. I gave too many chances. I told her to swear and not curse me out, she would the next day. Even in front of my brother. I loved the sex we would have but I'm sure it would be good with the next one too. I was a freak. I liked her feet on my face while doing her, I liked her choking me a little and I miss massaging her. The taste of her liquids. It was really passionate love but it was not at all healthy. I miss playing basketball with her, and the pics together and times together in my car and grabbing her butt every time she walked out and her telling me to call her. It was great but she left me which gets me mad because I should've been the one to left her. Just hope you get my message, that as special as you think something is and as much as you want something, it doesn't want you back so why continue. Honestly I loved her way too much. She could've cheated on me and I would've taken her back. I did anything for her. At any time. I helped her study till late and wed go out to eat. It was great having a girlfriend, but I was sad a lot and she disrespected me way too much and soon enough I was doing it back and I hated it. We messed up the both of us. She made scenes anywhere. I couldn't stand it but I dealt with it for a year and 6 months because I loved her and I didn't care how she treated me because when she would kiss me and give me an eskimo kiss and make whining dog sounds, she won be back all the time. I know it wasn't healthy and I'm sure I will find someone who loves me completely and respects me!

[SAB123]

Ya emo, I still love my ex but she yelled at me a lot and didn't do anything for me and toward the end I didn't do as much for her because of that. Maybe I should have told her how I felt. And what you describe above kind of sounds like me except the choking part?
We were together for alomost 5 years but the past 3.5 she was some what mean to me. I think she held back so I wouldn't dump her A**. But she would yell all the time at her mom and son.

[emopunk7]

Hey whether she dumped you or you dumped her, they are ex for a reason. Leave them exed out. We had them, enjoyed them. Someone else can have our sloppy seconds. We did the best we could.

[HurtingALot]

He was def. verbally abusive. There were so many times where I woud walk out of his apartment at night and ask myself... "What the hell am I doing, that's it! I can't do this anymore...." But I would always go back, 'cause there were good times too. I miss his hands, his deep blue eyes which I thought I could see straight to his heart through... I miss the sex (it was good... ) He is smart and funny, I miss his laugh. I don't miss how h thought it was OK to talk to me like I was an idiot... or how he isolated me from my friends and family... I don't miss the fighting... but I miss the making up. I guess I am afraid that he will become a good boyfriend to someone else... He is not social... in any way, but has told me how he will put on an act until he "snares" someone else... (his words... ) Do these people ever change? It would kill me to see that he has actually become a good person with someone else/for someone else. I wonder if he'll find what he's looking for, if it even exists. But most of all, I wonder if he'll ever realize how much I cared for him... with all of his faults... (not that I don't have my own... ) and that I truly thought we could have been happy together. I miss so much, but don't miss other things. He certainly gave me plenty to not miss... I don't think his take on our relationship would be the same since I was nothing but good to him. Does he ever see it and realize what a mistake he's made?

[HurtingALot]

Just need some reinforcements... I def. should NOT contact him, right? We are nearing the 2-week mark of "time" that he said he wanted to see if he misses me. My heart is wanting to go to him and see what he's thinking. My head is saying that if anything, he NEEDS to come to me. Suggestions on making the right choice here? I am afraid that he might be really gone this time...

[emopunk7]

But these questions are not letting you move on. You know what I do all day? I go on YouTube while I'm bored here at work so that I don't hang myself... lol I watch videos of romance and different movies to let myself know there is so much more out there. I make plans for tongith. I get myself haircuts and please myself since she can't do it anymore. I don't look at her pics and I don't even check her myspace, because I know I will get jealous and I don't want to bring any feelings back. I'm doing good on this process and I'm with you here just like you are with me and Thank you for that. I want to help you the most I can. In every relationship there is good and the bad. Of course you miss him so your seeing the good. You think of the bad but you just really see the good. I know at times it comes and goes like a roller coaster, but just remember that you are suppose to feel this way. You are going through the process and you should be happy. We are both young and I'm sure we may fall in love again and it might happen all over again and be hurt. But knowing we got through this one, will help the next one. And maybe God is putting us through this to get ourselves together to stop depending and then truly finding the perfect ones for us. I think the miserable people are the ones who kept what should've been disposed. So let's be strong so that we can let the right one in and stop wasting our time on losers who don't deserve us. Please stay strong and know that this is def. for the best. I can see you writing here 5 months from now really happy with your life!

[SAB123]

I think everyone def misses the sex but remember he was verbally abusive and no one dserves that. With my ex I never cheated, hardly went out to bars with friends (maybe 10 times in 3 years) aways working on her house, bought nice things for her, nice dinners, was good to her and her son, Hardly ever yelled at her,did everything she asked me to do. I wasn't good enough for her again. Know she's sniffing around again because she new she had it good with me. But only thought of herself and I don't believe people change unless they really want to. Like me I was willing to change me for her a**. You can lead a jacka** to water and expect him to drink it. But trust me he's not going to change and years down the road you'll see him miseable with someone else.

[helpnow]

What is bothering you is that in your mind you hope and wish that there is hope for reconcilliation... right? You desperately want to get back together. Is he dead or in a coma... Has he indicated that he just needs time to think or has he actually cut the strings and ended it? If you don't know than you need to find out because the stages of grieving process can't begin until you know it is actually over FOR GOOD.

[diya]

Hey... take it easy... by getting reaffirmations from people over and over again, not going to get you anywhere I guess... it hasn't so far... I guess you need to make a separate diary and write all this down... because this forum is not a diary and people can't keep writing the same stuff for you again and again... you're definitely upset and not thinking rationally as what you should do... naturally none of the advices have done the trick(quite unfortunate though)... so I suggest... vent all this frustration in a separate diary and then think about it with your own mind... one day you will sail through. Amen!

[amily]

Hey I think you should defiantly go and speak to him... you should know where you stand!! It will make worse if you are going to sit around and wait for him to come and tell you what he wants. You can't just do it and its unfair on you:( Listen I have been there myself just a few month ago and I had loads of questions on my mind and it didn't give me to sleep at night... I was absolutely sad... and you know what I did?

I went to see him and said everything what I felt and ask him to answer on all my questions. It helped me so much and I could move on. It was hard to do, but I did it. And though he knows now that I love him... I don't care... I have done everything possible to get him back, he didn't respond... well now I have to move on, I can see he isn't interested and never probably was. I know how hard it could be, but you have to be strong for your own good. Do it and you will feel so much better, talk to him and you will see how much things will get clear. You have to be ready for everything though and it doesn't mean you may get back together, but its better for you to know there you stand. You have to know! Best of luck to you and all my best.