[zooropa1985]

Thank you all for your answers, it truelly is making me feel a lot better, through time I will move on and the hurt will fade.

I know I will never forget her but sadly the memories right now only trigger sadness, will that change to happyness at some point down the road?

And in your very own opinion, if the day ever came, would she be worth taking back after the way she has treated me?

Thank you

[talaniman]

I would need a lot of proof but anything is possible

[chuff]

And in your very own opinion, if the day ever came, would she be worth taking back after the way she has treated me?

That would be question that in the end only you can answer, but from what you write here I'd have to ask you why you would want to punish yourself after giving so much of yourself only to be disrespected and throw out without a care in the world. It's one thing to dump someone, it' another to do it in the manner she did it and not even provide an explanation. To go back to her, you would be selling out to someone that should be more important to you than her, and that is yourself.

[zooropa1985]

So here's an update.

My ex text me and asked if we could be friends, I said yes right away but then it I thought about it.

Could I really walk beside her and not hold her hand? Could I really say goodbye without saying I love you?

My main thought however was that what if she found another guy, I would no doubt be told by her and may even have the misfortune to seeing them together.

I texted her back saying I'm sorry but I don't think we can be friends, she wants to meet up though after her exams.

What should I do?

Was I right in saying no to her friendship?

[talaniman]

You were absolutely right as your feelings are to strong at this time to be put through the torture of seeing and talking to her without hurting yourself, some day maybe, but you will know when you can handle it.

[chuff]

How can you be friends with someone who treats you like crap?

[emopunk7]

Talaniman is right. I spoke to you before. My ex is pretty much the same. I'm sure you and I made a few mistakes, but so have they. We still loved them and brushed whatever they did aside, so why can't they do the same? It's because the both of us found girls who are still immature in a way, are unstable, don't love us the way we love them and are half crazy. You seem like a great guy. Just because you made a mistake and I'm sure you are the type to apologize then I'd say you deserve better. We both do. Sure they seem beautiful to us and we don't want anybody else but I think I've said that about the past girls. They come and go. The great thing is that we gave it a try. We will surely find someone a lot more fun and compatible and the great time we have with the next will be so much better than with the one we were with. It's hard to see it, just as it is for me, but it will happen for sure.

[zooropa1985]

How can you be friends with someone who treats you like crap?

I agree but this is my whole point, during the relationship she was the kindest most sweetest girl you could meet, she treated me like a king. I don't know how she has done a 180 so quickly, that's what's so confusing and I'm trying to figure it out in my head.

You have to understand that she is acting like a completely different person right now, so cold and distant, it breaks my heart to see it.

And another thing, its been three and a half weeks now since the split, the pain is getting less and less but every morning soon as I wake up I get this pain inside my stomach and I can't help but think of her, its always in the morning. It was worse this morning though because I had a dream we got back together, then I woke up and... well it was tough.

Thanks

[gypsy456]

The ones we fall in love with are most of the times not the same person we break up with...

[chuff]

I agree but this is my whole point, during the relationship she was the kindest most sweetest girl you could meet, she treated me like a king. I dont know how she has done a 180 so quickly, thats whats so confusing and im trying to figure it out in my head.

You have to understand that she is acting like a completly different person right now, so cold and distant, it breaks my heart to see it.

However great she may have treated you in the past, this is the reality of now. Now she dumps you via text. Now she doesn't offer an explanation. Now she shows you no respect. Now she treats you like crap and if that's not enough she now wants to be your friend. I don't consider her actions those of a friend and I think if you weren't emotionally involved you would agree with me.

In fact reread this post only imagine it as though I wrote it and you were giving me advice. I think you'll see that what she's doing is not worthy of your friendship, and if it is certainly not at this time.

And another thing, its been three and a half weeks now since the split, the pain is getting less and less but every morning soon as i wake up i get this pain inside my stomach and i can't help but think of her, its always in the morning. It was worse this morning though because i had a dream we got back together, then i woke up and... well it was tough.

Thanks

That's your brains way to dealing with the loss. As you say it's heavier in the morning before you get focused on your day and you've had all night to dream about it. Try reading a book before you go to bed so that will be the last thing you remember. The dreams will eventually go away you just have to give your brain some other things to think about to help it along.

[zooropa1985]

However great she may have treated you in the past, this is the reality of now. Now she dumps you via text. Now she doesn't offer an explanation. Now she shows you no respect. Now she treats you like crap and if that's not enough she now wants to be your friend. I don't consider her actions those of a friend and I think if you weren't emotionally involved you would agree with me.

In fact reread this post only imagine it as though I wrote it and you were giving me advice. I think you'll see that what she's doing is not worthy of your friendship, and if it is certainly not at this time.



That's your brains way to dealing with the loss. As you say it's heavier in the morning before you get focused on your day and you've had all night to dream about it. Try reading a book before you go to bed so that will be the last thing you remember. The dreams will eventually go away you just have to give your brain some other things to think about to help it along.

I agree completely, if I was reading it I would say forget about her and move on. Sadly I wish I could take my own advice, however I've deleted her from my phone, least now I simple can't have the urge to text her! I guess the next couple of weeks will be tough but there will be a light at the end of the tunnel, as long as I keep going straight I will reach it.

They say love is blindness, I think that is very true in the case of me right now.

Yes she was nice in the past but now she's someone else, someone I don't like, my only concern is that maybe one day she will regret all this, that day will more than likely never come though.

Thanks.

[gypsy456]

You are being very wise.

I wish you all the best and hope that -when the time is right and you are healed from this relationship- you will be with somebody who does respect and loves you the way you deserve.

Good luck !

[zooropa1985]

Its amazing, I've reread this and you know what I see?

An idiot lol

[hair2007]

its amazing, ive reread this and you know what i see?

an idiot lol

Your not an idiot, lol, you love someone and can't understand why this happened.. we all feel that with our own situatuions. I have felt like an idiot at times too though... but it takes time to feel better.

Never regret any way that you feel, felt or acted, you do what you have to do to get through your own problems. You never know what each day brings... good luck ( :