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Need an answer · May 8, 2007, 04:12 PM

My boyfriend has had his kids for almost three years and he has not tried to get custody of his children. Their mother is now trying to come and take them and we don't know what to do. Does he have the right as their father to deny her? If he takes her to court for custody will he lose the kids? They live in different states and we are just afraid of the outcome. What can we do?

NowWhat · May 8, 2007, 04:16 PM

Was there ever a custody or visitation order in place? If not, I would go to your court house ASAP and file for a temporary custody order.
Does she or has she paid child support? Does she or has she seen the kids in the last three years? What are their ages?

Need an answer · May 8, 2007, 04:21 PM

There was never a custody or visitation order. She has seen them within the past three years. They are 6 and 4 years old.

Bluerose · May 8, 2007, 04:29 PM

They have been with him more than half their life, I really think this will be taken into account. I would tell him to stand firm. And go get that temporary custody order.

NowWhat · May 8, 2007, 04:30 PM

The first thing I would do is get a custody order in place. She can't just come in and take the kids because she feels like it. He is their father and has as much right to them as she does. And considering they have been living with him for most of their lives - that will work in your favor.
Has she given reasons she wants them back? Why did she give them up to start with?
Sorry for all the questions.

Need an answer · May 8, 2007, 04:36 PM

She hasn't given any reasons on why she wants them back. They have a daughter together and she is 8. He was going to have her as well but, at the time she gave him the boys he didn't have a woman around and he felt as though she needed a woman around while she was still that young. She lives with the mother and she(the daughter) was going to be living here as well and all of a sudden she(the mother) changed and now she wants them back. I think it is to get at him or maybe just to try and get child support. He has never asked her for anything for them and they don't want to live with her.

NowWhat · May 8, 2007, 04:40 PM

Well, considering he has two of the three - she would owe him. Or you could call it a "wash". Like I said, just because she wants them back - doesn't mean that he automatically has to give them back.
I really think that you need to get a temporary custody order in place. To gear up for a permanent one. You will have to get an attorney. But, for the safety of the kids - it will be worth it.

Need an answer · May 8, 2007, 04:43 PM

Originally Posted by NowWhat

Well, considering he has two of the three - she would owe him. Or you could call it a "wash". Like I said, just because she wants them back - doesn't mean that he automatically has to give them back.
I really think that you need to get a temporary custody order in place. To gear up for a permanent one. You will have to get an attorney. but, for the safety of the kids - it will be worth it.

Thank you!

Fr_Chuck · May 8, 2007, 07:27 PM

At this point and time, whose names is on the birth certificate, if both, he is OK, till it goes to court, if just her name, you have to even prove they are his kids.

But what you need to do is as noted get an emergancy temporary custody order. But time ( actually way past time) for a good attorney

tawnynkids · May 9, 2007, 02:35 PM

Originally Posted by Need an answer

Their mother is now trying to come and take them and we don't know what to do.

Because there is no current court order she can come and take the kids. According to the law they each have equal rights to their children. She can take them, he can take them back soon and so forth. The only thing she can't do (nor you) is to take them with the intent to conceal them.

[QUOTE=Does he have the right as their father to deny her? [/QUOTE]

No, he doesn't and without good cause (reason to believe they would be in harm) it wouldn't look good for him to do that in court.

Originally Posted by Need an answer

If he takes her to court for custody will he lose the kids?

It would be hard for him to lose them. He has established himself as the primary caretaker of these children. She really would need to prove a change in circumstances in order to reverse the current custody situation.

It may very well be that she just wants the boys back to join the siblings again. Courts do favor keeping siblings together if at all possible, however, they haven't been together up to this point. So, they aren't being separated. And it wouldn't warrant a change in the current circumstances.

You aren't likely to get an emergency temp order for custody for the sole fear that mom might take them unless you believe that she will conceal them. You can however, file an Order to Show Cause for custody and visitation which should place automatic restraining orders on either party removing the children from the state until the issue is resolved.

Just wanted to give you some additional info to bring up with a lawyer because I do agree with all the above advice to go to a lawyer as soon as possible and begin this process. Good luck.