[Allheart]

Allheart,

"..Bonkers Island.." lol

I don't know about the US but here in the UK 'Bonkers' has a sexual meaning -a couple going at it - I think some of the teenagers would just love your island. lol

Oh my... LOL :o

[saraispiel19]

Everyone seems to be pregnαnt, involved in αdultery, wondering if there αre αliens (ehemm phillycheesecαke). I found this site when my pipes were frozen in the winter.. umm.. other thαn thαt I've leαrned thαt some of these people belong in αn αsylum

[Bluerose]

"We can send all the bonked teens to the UK and they never have to come back. Problem solved."

Lol! Lol! If you do that, you know we will only send ours to you! Lol

Who's do you think would be the worst?

[Bluerose]

"everyone seems to be pregnαnt, involved in αdultery, wondering if there αre αliens (ehemm phillycheesecαke). I found this site when my pipes were frozen in the winter..umm.. other thαn thαt i've leαrned thαt some of these people belong in αn αsylum"

Ooooooooooo! That's harsh. Do you really. And here I just thought they were struggling to cope with life - like I do from time to time.

[NowWhat]

One thing I haven't learned from the site - how do you get more green dots? I only have one. :(

[NeedKarma]

To be fair no one comes online anonymously to say that their marriage is doing great / kids are heaven sent / had an amicable break up / divorce is going along swimmingly / they tolerate all religions / etc.

No, no, these sites attract the ones that want to vent. They ask questions often solely to reinforce their preconceived solution. And we all know what happens when we go against that preconceived solution.

[saraispiel19]

People thαt belong in αsylums αre the ones who αre on their 8th mαrriαge αnd αre fαlling in love with the 4th husbαnd αnd pregnαnt with the 1st:)

[shygrneyzs]

That there are just some topics that have no resolution and I have learned never to broach them, as the pit is endless and full of fire.

[kp2171]

I agree with the assertion that this isn't the "talk-about-your-perfect-life" forum... so we can get some pretty wild extremes. People come here for help... but boy, sometimes you wonder how they step in such a big pile of *&^( without seeing it coming.

I don't think saraispiel19 was harsh at all... call it being judgemental but there is a difference between coping and making lousy, lousy decisions over and over. And that's something I have learned here... some people are REALLY lousy at making rational choices, over and over and over.

my brother-in-law and his soon to be ex are a prime example. Every time they wind up in an awful situation, you know... the one that EVERYONE else saw coming but they just couldn't... she says its up to "God's will"...

uh... no. I'm pretty sure God's will is for you not to have your head stuck up your... oh... never mind.

so some people should be able to see through their zipper. I suppose that makes me the crotchety guy my wife says I am from time to time. =)

[Matt3046]

I am amazed at the similarities in one individual to the next. It seems the "human condition" is a shared curse on us all. We all want and fear allot of the same stuff. And we all want in the same way. Obviously some of us tend to never learn, but in 60 or 70 years can anyone actually get good at this (life)?

[RegularRhino]

• There are a lot of people who would rather get an answer from someone else versus do a little research on their own. (It baffles me they found this site but can’t put together a decent enough search to find the answer to some seemingly easy questions)
• I am thankful for the above mentioned people because it will hopefully let me put to use knowledge I have - and that is something that always feels good.
• I can burn a couple hours easily every time I log in here – and I will always learn something new and hopefully useful.

[Bluerose]

Where's the compassion? There are people out there who simply lack the skills. And as for being able to find this site, maybe someone told them about it as a place to get help. Just the fact that they are asking for advice is proof that they are trying to 'do it differently'. And sometimes it just takes a little longer for some of us to process the information and put it to good use.

In my personal opinion if we are here because we want to answer questions and help people, then we have taken on the responsibility of being non judgemental. We have no right to criticise them for their lack of skills and abilities. They are probably here on AMHD asking their questions because that is all they get at home, criticism.

All we can do is give the information that is sought and allow them to do with it as they will. Otherwise we are not being helpful compassionate people - we are being dictators. Given time I believe everyone gets it eventually.

Groundhog Day:


Day 1 - I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I'm lost. I'm helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.

Day 2 - I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again. I can't believe I'm in the same place, but it isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.

Day 3 - I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I fall in. It's a habit. But my eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault and I get out immediately.

Day 4 - I walk down the same street. There's a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

Day 5 - I try walking down a different street.

[scatcynthia]

I have had some very good advice on social security benefits and my rights... it has been very helpful since I am in a legal issue of garnishment.

[NowWhat]

When I first found this site - I was in a very low point in my life. I could have went to a hundred different websites to get technical information on how to get over what I was going through. With this site, I could talk out what I was going through, get advice from people that had no ties to the situation. I like that I can say what I need to with no judgement from those I love. I got to a point where everyone had an opinion (my family) and I felt that I was in a corner. I could say things that I could not to those closest to me.
Now that I am over the hurdle - this site helps me challenge my brain and HOPEFULLY help others.
I am thankful that I found this place.

[NeedKarma]

Given time I believe everyone gets it eventually.

I believe some never get it.

[Bluerose]

Sadly I think I have to agree, especially when it was the subject of young people cutting themselves and even committing suicide that got me down so much over the last few days. I still want to believe though, even with such a drastic outcome, that some of them do in the end.

Oh, God! Anyone got any good jokes?
This is getting all too serious, don't you think?

[NowWhat]

If we stopped believing that there is good in people - it would be a sad, sad place. I like to believe that everyone is capable of kindness and capable of being a "good" person. If they choose not to be... well, what can you do? I, for one, believe that good will prevail over evil.

[NeedKarma]

Bluerose,
Yep, that is sad. I take time away from the board often 'cause that stuff gets to me. I make sure that I try to raise my kids to try to 'proof' them against feeling that way.

[Bluerose]

NowWhat,

"If we stopped believing that their is good in people - it would be a sad, sad place. I like to believe that everyone is capable of kindness and capable of being a "good" person. If they choose not to be....well, what can you do? I, for one, believe that good will prevail over evil."

I too come from that direction. And I have to admit, with things going on at home and the tough to take things going on here, I sometimes think I need a long break. And yet at the same time it helps me to realise how much stronger I am these days. There was a time when I couldn't have read, let alone discussed some of the issues on here.

I may be feeling a little sad but it also feels like another small triumph.

Does that make sense?

NeedKarma,

Sorry. That was in reply to you too. No edit button.

[RegularRhino]

[INDENT]Where's the compassion? There are people out there who simply lack the skills. And as for being able to find this site, maybe someone told them about it as a place to get help. Just the fact that they are asking for advice is proof that they are trying to 'do it differently'. And sometimes it just takes a little longer for some of us to process the information and put it to good use.

I didn't mean to sound uncompassionate - thus my 2nd bullet. And I certainly overlooked the word of mouth factor for finding this website. I found it through some very obscure searches and so my thinking was... if someone found their way here they must be fairly savvy. I definitely miss (although I don't judge) the concept of using the web as a substitute for f2f interaction. **I** see the web as tool - not some sort of emotional support provider - but to each their own. There in lies the defining point I suppose for my my lack of compassion. I have awareness but perhaps not DEEP awareness... Certainly next time I'll think before I post or I'll get a thicker skin. I'm not typically one to criticize so getting my hand slapped coming out the gate (obviously I'm new here) was a bit surprising. All the best!

Compassion: Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.