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cristinastevens · May 7, 2007, 05:26 PM

I am the founder and director of a choir in Mexico City. We travel all over the world and we have finally pinpointed one of the boys as being the one who has been steeling money and clothes from all of us. After never coming forward, finally today he admitted that he has stolen from most of us. He still denies about the clothes. He says that he can't control it. He says nothing about returning the long lost, rather large amount of money (Im sure we are only aware of a small percentage). He has been in the choir since age 8, and is now age 14. We all love him as part of our choir family... but feel extremely betrayed and angry. Does this seem like he is a cleptomaniac? Or do they only steal from shops, etc.. Strangers. We are all his best friends and family.
Please let me know... and if he fits the profile, is there a cure?? We are leaving to record a CD and on tour with him.
Cristina

Fr_Chuck · May 7, 2007, 08:06 PM

If he is a cleptomaniac he will steal from any and everyone, but then they are also normally very sorry if caught and very willing to pay it back.
So that fact makes me wonder if it is more an issue of him being a thief.
But as a family, perhaps he needs to stay and get professional counseling and be allowed to come back after being released from treatment, his getting help should come first.

brandy681 · May 7, 2007, 08:41 PM

I know that you all care about him very much but if he is being allowed to steal than this is not helping him. If he is stealing money, clothes, etc then why is he still in chior? He needs to be let go if he is stealing from you and he needs help. He will not stop stealing, he may be more cautious now that everyone knows about it but he will continue to steal. You will have to unfortunately watch your back every time he is around to make sure he is not stealing. Is it worth it? You need to support him and let him know that you all care about him very much but you cannot let him comtinue to participate in choir events until he has help. I cannot say if this stealing is because he cannot help it but it doesn't really sound like a klepto. A klepto steals things that they don't need or things that they don't use and will steal in front of someone and not even care. Like the last reviewer said, a lot of times they will give the items back. Did this guy ever return anything? He may be putting one over on you because he knows that you ALL care about him and will not throw him out of choir. Have you ever found returned items laying around? He may still be a klepto but it is my guess that he is using you all. All thiefs eventually get caught so if he is a klepto he would have definitely have been caught already and we would have been arrested. He may be stealing from just the choir and no where else and this is wrong. As long as he is getting away with it he will contine to do it. If he continues to steal it would probably be best if you prosecute him. This is a good lesson and if you care about this guy you will do it for HIS sake. This may sound funny but he will thank you later.. This is good advice, as best as I can give. I am sorry that I cannot tell you if he is a klepto ir not but it sounds like it could be if he is stealing clothes because what does he need it for?! Clothes don't bring much value so maybe he does have a problem but if it is just money than he may be taking advantage of you guys. In any way if you prosecute him he will get help and be provided the help that he needs, whether he is a klepto or not. Hope this helps!