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MicheleEB · May 5, 2007, 05:24 PM

I have a question about giving up parental rights. I am divorced for nearly 10 years now and my 2 oldest live with their father... in Colorado now I think. ( They move alot):mad:
Anyway, for 2 years him and his new wife would constantly ask me to give up my rights so that she can adopt them. I should mention that during this time he has basically done everything in his power to keep them away from me and hating me... I know I know they are just kids, but you should see the nasty letters I get from all 4 of them. So the story goes I finally decide that if they really want complete custody I will give it to them, then they change their minds. I don't know what to do. I have not seen my boys in over 3 years because every time I find them they move again. His new wife has used my name to get credit and I just don't want anything to do with these people anymore.:confused:
Any suggestions.. oh and I can give more details if anyone wants to know.

startover22 · May 5, 2007, 05:31 PM

Exactly what would be your question, can you give up your parental rights? Yes, it sounds like you already have. Do you still have to pay child support? Yes, unless their step mother adoppts them. Did all four live with him or only two?

Fr_Chuck · May 5, 2007, 05:41 PM

Well so you don't want to do anyting with the new wife or your ex, but what about the kids, you don't want contact with them?

If you want visitation, demand it from the courts, require them to keep the court informed of their exact address. ( child support payments are having to be mailed somewhere?? ) If you want to see your kids you make it happen in court, they can't stop you.

If you want to give up your custody, so they can adopt, you have that right also. The thing is you have to fight for whatyou want, or give up, only you can choose.

MicheleEB · May 5, 2007, 05:52 PM

Ok I guess my question is should I give up?? I have been trying through lawyers and courts for years.. the child support is paid through the state, where I live... oh and when I say all 4 I mean the ex his wife and the 2 children.
They courts have ordered them to allow me to see them... and then he just moves to another state.

By the way... to broke to pay for another lawyer... make too much for legal aide... just want to give up, besides its been so long since I have seen them I don't know if I would recognize them. Sad but true.

startover22 · May 5, 2007, 05:59 PM

In my opinion? No I don't think you should. I guess I didn't know the state could pay your child support. Is that what you meant by the state pays? Your children are your children, the awful letters are probably from step mom and dad feeding them garbage on you. Why does he have them in the first place. I really hope this all works out in the end for all of you.

MicheleEB · May 5, 2007, 06:05 PM

I pay the state of Oregon and they send it to wherever the new address is.
He has custody because I was in the service at the time and he was not and the agreement was that he would not rejoin and that once I was out I would get custody of the kids, and that He was not absolutely allowed to leave the state without notifying me... what a joke... Sorry don't have much faith in the courts anymore

startover22 · May 5, 2007, 06:09 PM

Ok, now I gotcha. Thanks for serving our country first of all. So have you gone back to your lawyer to ask why they were allowed to leave? You know my friend was in this situation, got a ticket to where they were and went and got his son with a court order in his hand to take him back to Oregon. Have you tried lately to talk to a lawyer? Why are they writing you letters? Is there something more to all of this?

MicheleEB · May 5, 2007, 08:53 PM

I am sick of lawyers... and he has not been allowed to leave the state... the problem is he has legal custody and so basically there is nothing that I can do.
Well they email me occasionally, usually after I email them for birthdays, christmas etc because I have no address to send things to. I went through a log that I had kept and realized they had 15 phone numbers in about 3 years time! That's about all I ever get email addresses and phone numbers.

vlee · May 6, 2007, 12:03 AM

Go to the courthouse where the original custody order was filed and file a petition for contempt of court against him. He will have to appear. At that point you can explain to the judge about your ex's habit of "state skipping" in order to avoid your obtainment of any visitation or custody and any other things he has done that are against the custody agreement. Sounds like you have had BAD lawyers. At this point, I'd be suing for FULL custody, as he has concealed the children's whereabouts and denied them access to you, thereby inhibiting your relationship to them.

MicheleEB · May 6, 2007, 09:52 AM

That's a good idea... thanks :)

startover22 · May 6, 2007, 10:08 AM

I wish you all the luck in the world to be able to see your children. I really think it is not to late to have a great relationship with them. Just keep thinking on the positive side, it might take a while to go through all of this, but in the end you will have shown them that you love them very much. I am one of those kids and wish to god my mom would have done this for me and my siblings. All we ever got was my dads story, and when I finally did see my mom, I told her that all I want was this day forward with her. No stories or excuses, just communication through the next days of our lives. Good luck with you and your kids!

Km104 · May 6, 2007, 05:39 PM

Reply to me - we can talk.

krystal1973 · May 7, 2007, 08:44 AM

Michele, I hope you try to do something about this situation. Never give up on your children, even if you lose.. They have to know that you tried.