[Lilo07]

Hello, I am looking to have a child, the only problem is I am not looking for a partner at this time, I do not want to get married, the story is My Aunt lost her 2 yr. old son in 2000, after she had him she was extremely depressed because she was no loner able to have children, she asked me when I turned 18 if I would have a baby for her at first I thought I could never do it, because to have a baby grow in you for 9 months just to give it away but putting a lot of thought and talking to many different people about it, I have decided that I would the only problem is that I need to find a male that would also be willing or a clinic that excepts single women. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.:confused: :confused: :confused:

[buggage]

I'm afraid that I have no advice as far as a clinic to go to. However, I would like to say that even if you find a guy(outside the clinic) that is willing to get you pregnant, no strings attached, it doesn't mean that it will stay that way.(meaning there is no guarantee he wouldn't change his mind further down the line about the agreement, etc.) Also, as a mother to a two year old myself, I know your Aunt must be going through a hard time. However, I am afraid she is letting her grief get in the way of her thinking. To ask her 18 year old niece to have a baby for her is really a very bad idea. Not only are you so young,(not to mention putting your body and emotions through the strain of a pregnancy that you must give up once born) but you would also have to see that child every day, knowing that it is yours, yet it is not. Having to look at that baby, calling your aunt " mom ", and dealing with the heartache of not hearing it yourself, when you went through all the trials and effort to bring that child into the world... not being able to have a say in the end as far as how the child is raised, etc... I don't think anyone could be ready for that. Until you have carried a baby in your womb for 9 months, felt it moving within you, talking to it, nourishing it, providing everything it needs, and then giving birth to it... I don't believe you could know or come close to understanding how hard it would be to give that baby to someone else. It's not like this will be an unplanned pregnancy, or something that you don't want. Even though it will start with you not wanting it for yourself,( you'll be wanting it for your aunt,) you'll be excited once you do get pregnant, and as time goes on, you will start to bond with the baby within, and have doubts.Being a surrogate mother for someone you don't know would be hard enough, but being one for your own aunt, (in my own opinion) would be harder. ESP at your young age, when life has just begun for you. I know you want to help your aunt, and I know your heart goes out to her. I don't think anyone could hear of her loss, and not feel for her. BUT I think it would be wiser if she were to go elsewhere for a baby. There are plenty of places she can go to for adoption, rather then turning her niece into a single mom, then taking the baby for herself.

[Stratmando]

First, I am sorry for your aunts loss
Second
What are you doing tomorrow.
Seriously, I agree with above, I think you may change your mind, if not now, maybe later.
I know you love your aunt, if you want it to last, and if your aunt lives close. It would be very difficult not to become attached.

[alkalineangel]

I carried a child for my sister, granted it was her child (her egg and his sperm fertilized and implanted into me) but it was still the hardest thing I ever did giving that child away. I am glad I did it, because she is a wonderful mom and could not carry her own children, but if you are not emotionlly ready, you have no idea what you are getting into. I had to go through counseling afterwards, and I talked to other surrogate mothers often... still do. Its nice that I see him, but I still get a twinge of jealousy every so often. I suggest reading into this. I would not find some random guy of the strets either, go to a sperm clinic. Or have your Aunt and Uncle provide the materials... but know that it is very expensive. Being single doesn't mean anything.

If you are doing this for yourself, and you don't want a relationship, your only option is artificial insemination. It gets too dirty by picking a random guy... but please be sure that you are ready.

I know its hard when you see a loved one suffer, but you must also think about your well being.

good luck