[Xenoreaper]

A while back My girl and I moved in with her mother and step father. They both don't really like me... well actually... they don't like me at all. The only reason they let us move in was because of our son being small and my mom could not afford the heating bill. Anyway, I never felt welcome in their house so I spent most of my time in the bedroom. I figured that if I didn't say anything then maybe they wouldn't say anything to me. First they complained about a job, so I got one. Then they complained that I didn't help out around the house, even though I never came out of the room and ate at work. My girl and I had a fight and I ended up getting a black eye from her step father who raped her when she was twelve. When we finally decided to move out> they ended up keeping my sons crib and threatening to call children service Then her step father said that he was more of a father to my son than I would ever be> So needless to say I am glad we don"t live there anymore> After we moved in to our apartment i found out that my girl has been taking my son over to see them and i don"t think that they deserve to see him> they never were supportive and only tried to control us and I don"t think that they should be able to see him> i don"t want him to pick anything up from them and I don"t want them to be part of his life> he was questioned about the rape but then it came down to my girls word against another girls word> even her own mother said that she enticed her husband and she stayed with him!!!! i don"t know what to say I have already threatened to leave her if she takes my son over there> I told her that if she wants to be stupid fine but leave my son out of it>

[robertsqueen]

Okay first of all you moved in with a known sex offender? How do you feel about the fact that he did that to your girlfirend. That is not right. If I were you I would ask your wife not to go over there with your son. He raped your girlfriend, so I wouldn't allow your son around him. That said. I think that they should have given you back your crib. Don't they realize that they aren't hurting you, but your son. I tottaly argee that you need to keep your son away from them. They sound like they are only after you to hurt you, and will do anything to do it. Why does your girlfriend still have contact with the man that raped her. They won't call children services because the step dad would get in trouble for being in contact with a minor. Was he ever reported... or prosecuted?

[Fr_Chuck]

I have all sorts of isssues, first why did it take the father complaining before you got a job, why were you not getting a job and working to help pay for your own place. Next if this was not a safe place to be, why move in there, there are shelters that you could go to.
I would say that everyone needs counseling, but you and "YOUR GIRL" ( I never heard the words girlfirend or wife, most of a term of possession.

[Xenoreaper]

To fr_chuck from poster
I had a job but I had to move to a place far from my hometown I didn't"t have a car and i didn"t know the area that's why I didn't"t have a job immediatly> my girls name is tara and we are engaged and have been together for almost three years now so yes she"s my girl and I'm her man

[startover22]

Her man? What do you mean? A MAN would never put his GIRL in this awful situation. Get started on becoming one first and then complain. Do not let that girl take the baby to that house one more time. If you have to get two jobs just so you can provide for that baby and get the heck outa there... then do it! A MAN would make sure his baby was safe. Go for it, if she doesn't stay with you then so be it! Only my opinion though.

[talaniman]

Seek some kind of counseling, as there are to many issues here to be dealt with alone by ones so young and inexperienced. Finding a church with a family counselor would be a good idea, and can help you both tremendously.

[Xenoreaper]

For the record for future posts, I don't live there anymore we do have our own place I just don't want my son around her mother and step father

[1badchoice]

I completely understand your feelings. My parents were abusive/neglectful yet my ex husband would take my children to visit them. I had to threaten court action if he continued to get him to stop. The situation your in is very difficult. Talk to your girlfriend, explain your reasoning, try to compromise... maybe grandma could visit child at your home. Your girlfriend is conflicted. Her parents failed to protect her, even injured her. Give your wife time to visit with her family while you keep the baby. You can't control her actions, however you can request you son not be placed in dangerous situations. If this issue splits you up then you need to take legal action to keep her from taking child to her parents house. If all else fails you can involve child welfare. I rarely suggest this but protecting your child is most important.

[talaniman]

That's why I suggested the counseling, to get your wife and you on the same page, as she is the one who you have to convince.