[Ash123]

Women: What are some things you do when interested in someone.

Men: What are some things you do when interested in someone.


This might be an interesting compare and contrast for both sides.


Some possible notes:

Who takes more time?

What works and what doesn't?

What actions overlap?

What works? Doesn't?

[VADawg]

I tend to smile a lot at girls I like. Maybe glance at them and try and see if they do the same back, and then I'll smile. I'll make an effort to start up conversations with them. If they laugh or something, I might pat them on the back or touch their arm or something. Just stuff like that.

[Josh777]

I usually look at them a lot or smile at them. Usually I try to talk to them or enter subjects with them that we have in common. I will also try to do things with them if its possible.

This works for both men and women

[kp2171]

When I was dating (married now, so I'm a little out of the loop. So is my wife, I think) it was mostly being confident and showing interest.

As is making eye contact... sometime looking down playfully at her lips and back up when she was looking at me... though I imagine she might think there's a smudge on her mouth or something stuck in her teeth if you do that too much.

A casual smile with eye contact. Light conversation. Don't be fake or programmed. Speaking just to hear yourself talk can be stupid. Smile with your eyes... you know how you squint a little when you smile... well do that. Don't just smile with your mouth.

Id sit by the person instead of across from them, get close enough to see if they pulled away some or if they seemed comfortable.

Talk about doing things together. With my wife, before we dated but we were both wondering if the other was interested, we set up "dates" by saying something like... we should get some people together for a drink tonight.. in the end it didn't matter if 4 or 14 people showed up, we were giving each other some attention. Eventually we figured out that we didn't need the other people to be there.

But I also had to be more cautious, as the last three people I dated I worked with or around... so I had to be a little careful about being as forward as I might have been otherwise.

Listen to their responses. Are they trying to keep the conversation going or are they just there? Are they interested in your part of the conversation or are they just a talking head that likes to hear themselves yak?

Um... if she doesn't laugh at you and make eye contact or keeps her distance she's probably not too interested.

Even if she's shy, you should be able to get something out of her to let you know that she's interested.

[Matt3046]

Flirt, and ask questions about her.

[Skell]

Generally I freeze right up, get all nervous and stutter over my words. Doesn't seem to work too well! :)

[where did i go wrong]

Generally i freeze right up, get all nervous and stutter over my words. Doesn't seem to work too well!! :)

Haha I'm the same, I'm too shy and put too much pressure on myself to 'fit in' sometimes...
I don't know where to meet people that are like me so I get into situations where I'm not comfortable from the start, makes it hard to talk to people when your not comfortable in the environtment...

[Ash123]

Would like to hear from some women on this thread...

[Allheart]

Would like to hear from some women on this thread...

Okay Ash123 - But I too have been out of the "ring" for a while myself. But back in my single days, if I were interested I would:

1) Blush when they would make me laugh
2) Be sure and NOT make eye contact but sneak a peak when I thought they were not looking
3) Be sure to be in the circle of conversation that they were, but NOT engage in a conversation with them.

Gee Allheart, way to snag them :). I too, was soooo shy. I mostly would put on a face that was polite, would give a smile, but would divert my eyes until I was able to read them a little better.

Now some of my girlfriends, were the complete oppostive... they saw someone they were interested in... and went for it. Paid them lots of attention, laughed at all there jokes and
Just made sure they were seen and heard. Yikes, was not my way, but it seemed to work for them.

But like KP said, even the shyest of the shyest will give off some "signal", even if it's a real quick glance :) .

To be honest, I really do not miss those days. :o

[Ash123]

AH,

You meet your wife in shy fashion?

[Allheart]

AH,

You meet your wife in shy fashion?

Hi Ash,

I'm a girl ;)

[Capuchin]

Hi Ash,

I'm a girl ;)

A hot girl!

[Allheart]

A hot girl!

And I just adore monkeys ;)

[Capuchin]

Score!

[Ash123]

Well, that certainly puts a fine point on it :-)

[SAB123]

From what I remember I was too shy to approach woman, but once I knew they were interested my shyness went away. But if I was interested I would occasionally stare at them and smile. ( not stalking stares either )

[Amaryllis]

Mm, pretty much what Allheart was like. ;) Too embaressed to actually look at him eye-to-eye and have to settle for side-glances when he's busy with something/one else. Basically, try to disappear without actually being gone... like a ghost. x3; Not a great tactic.

[talaniman]

Eye contact and a pretty smile got me! Always did!

[Ash123]

So, men/women - how do we cue the "other side"? When/what makes us feel OK to proceed?

Women: How do you try to give the "greenlight"?

[Allheart]

Just as Tal said -

With eye contact and a smile. That screams green light :)

That's direct eye contact - not just a fleeting glance -